Alba to Pap -- Suck on This!
Someone actually asked Jessica Alba if she thought "animal cruelty is a good thing." Who'd they think she was, an Olsen Twin?
The always chatty Alba was too busy sucking to answer.
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Heidi & Spencer: All That ... for Them?!
Either Heidi & Spencer hired all those photographers at LAX, or the end is nigh.
How else can you describe a pap welcoming committee of Britney proportions for two people who do absolutely nothing?
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Gerard Butler -- Cam's Just Another Bitch to Me
Gerard Butler said he's dating Cameron Diaz the same way he's dating his dog -- i.e., not true.
And they say romance is dead.
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K-Fed's Kids: Can't We All Just Get Along?
It's a modern-day Brady Bunch. Where's Alice when you need her?
On an outing at the L.A. Zoo yesterday, Kevin's mama Julie had her hands full with the half-siblings, SPF and JJ from Britney and Kori and Kaleb from ex Shar Jackson ... though having a full-time nanny and bodyguard around can't hurt.
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That's One Agitated A-hole!
Get near Zsa Zsa Gabor and Prince Von Anhalt will have your ass.
The Prince is in court right now for this alleged attack of a paparazzo caught on tape back in May of 2005. A-hole's being sued for battery and emotional distress. We hear Zsa Zsa is scheduled to stand take the stand!
Chikezie Wants a Load of Locke
If you put two "American Idol" rejects together, does that make a winner?
Alas, we'll never know: Kimberley Locke told us that while she was out in L.A. for an "A.I." show, Chikizzle tried to put the moves on her and asked her out. Just like his bid for "Idol"-dom, he struck out. No T&A for the TSA!
Jamie Lynn: 17 Going on 80
Sure, she's a knocked up, unwed, underage Nickelodeon star -- but Jamie Lynn and Casey Aldridge couldn't be more boring.
They celebrated her 17th b-day with an excruciatingly ho hum dinner at Ruby Tuesday. Try the crab cakes!
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Jamie Lynn's Man Is Loaded
Jamie Lynn Spears is packin' baby, but her man is packin' too, and he's pointing his piece at a photog!
Casey Aldridge was pissed at a pap who allegedly shot this video on private property -- Jamie says it was private, the pap says it wasn't. Anywho, watch closely as Casey takes the gun from his lap and kinda points it in the direction of the pap, telling him to get the hell on a public road. Yessir!
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Affleck Goes AC (All Callate!) in DC
Ben Affleck may or may not be running for office, but he's definitely running from our photog -- especially those TMZ probing questions.....and geez, bring J.Lo up and it's like you asked about Ashley Dupre. Silencio!
Wham! Common Gets Frisco Street Cred
Sure, Common's a talented artist -- but he was unbelievably awkward when two of the happiest gayest songs in history were played at a party he was emceeing.
Someone needs to work on his jitterbug.
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Stedman Won't Give His O-Face
One pesky pap tried to get Stedman Graham to buy a copy of Oprah's magazine -- but he wasn't havin' it.
Gayle King wudda done it!
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Life's a Bitch for Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus' life is like a perfectly planned sitcom ... and it's borderline sickening.
In the latest episode, Cyrus lost her aunt's dog and searched all over the neighborhood for it. The only thing missing -- Miley singing, "Where, oh where has my little dog gone, where, oh where can she be?"
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Paris Eats Pavement in Prague -- Big Time!
The Prague paps got Paris Hilton down on her knees. Those size 11 feet can be tricky to maneuver.
The heiress fell flat on her face trying to outrun the paparazzi -- Czech it out!
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Miley's New Cross to Bear -- the Paparazzi!
With Britney back under control, Miley Cyrus is the new pap target -- one who loves hearts, peace signs and crosses. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
The Jesus-lovin' daughter of Billy Ray went to the Coffee Bean with her momma yesterday, where the Disney-fied princess even hugged a pap after he gave her a gift. She's just perfect -- for now!
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Does the World Need Another Jonas Brother?!
Like the Beatles before them, chaste, panty-dropping boy band the Jonas Brothers now have four members -- the trio unveiling their new addition at a DC airport.
Their mom must be real old because this guy is pushing 40!
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Paps Bitch Out Amanda Bynes
Amanda Bynes got the booing of a lifetime last night after stiffing a group of paps.
She's not in the movie, but photogs didn't let her slide when she tried to bypass the red carpet at the premiere of "Run Fatboy Run." Amanda did pull a 180 and came back, but the damage was done -- listen closely and you can hear one photog call her a "bitch" as she posed.