The Hills

TMZ caught the "Hills" cutie outside of Il Tramezzino on Friday night with boyfriend/slacker Justin-Bobby. When asked if she'd seen the recent crotchograph she gave paps last Thursday, Audrina replied, "I don't have the Internet in my apartment."

Way to hook up those girls, MTV!

Give the girl credit -- at least she's wearing panties. And they're white. That means she's pure.

TMZ caught the "Hills" star leaving Opera, where she was photog-friendly until she got into a waiting taxi. Conrad covered her face as she sat in the cab with the window rolled down.

Perhaps she meant to roll that tinted window up.

Heidi and Spencer just seem to show up anywhere Lauren is, and unfortunately for them, they went home awardless. Heidi didn't even get an honorable mention for "Best Purchased Rack." Competition must've been stiff.

Lauren Conrad's sidekick was caught by TMZ as she left the Intermix party last night at their new Robertson Blvd. store. Surrounded by a few snapping paps, Port told photogs, "I think Lauren and Audrina are leaving."

The photogs, TMZ included, took the bait and ditched Port. That wily Whitney! LC was nowhere in sight!

Last night was no exception, as LC and buddy Audrina Patridge were caught by TMZ leaving Element in Hollywood, where they were once again asked about their villainous ex-friend.

A better question -- what does LC think about Heidi's music career?!

Friends of booblicious Baywatch star Pam Anderson are concerned over her hard-partying ways. A source told Page Six, "She parties almost every night...and she's got Hepatitis C. Her liver is shot but she keeps living this crazy lifestyle. We don't think she understands how serious this is. She has two kids and may not be around to see them grow up at this rate.

Friends say that her romance with amateur porn kingpin Rick Salomon isn't helping matters. "The went wild over the [MTV] VMA weekend. I just watched them party with my jaw open," reports the Post.

Did she or didn't she? The blonde frenemy of Lauren Conrad has finally come clean about the pair of large pillows she's now sporting on her chest. The 21-year-old fiance/pawn of "Hills" mimbo Spencer Pratt admits to Us Weekly that yes, her breasts have been surgically enhanced.

Despite rumors, Heidi swears it was her idea, not scurrilous Spencer's, to get cosmetic surgery. "He said, 'maybe you should think about it a lot longer."

But Heidi wanted surgery -- more than life. "Right before I went in, I was like, What if I don't wake up? Oh, this is scary. Then I thought, I don't care. If I don't wake up, it's worth it. I just wanted it so badly."

Karrine Steffans, the woman behind "Confessions of a Video Vixen," has a new book out, chock full with salacious new stories of her sexy romps.

"The Vixen Diaries" is billed as a self-help book but still mentions her time with actors and musicians like Jamie Foxx, Bobby Brown and Bill Maher. And she puts to rest the rumors that she split up Halle Berry and Eric Benet and Chris and Malaak Rock.

Reports the Daily News, she calls Maher "the love of my life," and dedicates the book to him.

TMZ caught the terrible twosome coming out of One Sunset after a birthday dinner for Heidi last night, where Spencer proclaimed, "We're friends with everybody!"

Whatever helps him sleep at night.

Granted, this clip of the villainous "Hills" twosome partaking in some serious dance floor PDA isn't as exciting/atrocious as Heidi's performance the same night, it's pretty sickening nonetheless.

As the two played a game of tonsil hockey at club LAX, pink-topped blogger Perez Hilton could do nothing but watch -- presumably in abject horror.

Resident Hills biatch-turned-wannabe-pop star Heidi Montag britneyspearsed her way through her new single at club LAX in Vegas this weekend -- but her lips were synching almost as fast as her fan base.

Today is the launch date for Lauren Conrad's new clothing line. Coincidentally, today is the same day as her ex-BFF Heidi Montag's birthday! Lauren's pretty business savvy -- go girl!

The hip new line is currently offered only on the web -- perhaps Spencer can order Heidi a birthday dress! Perhaps there's a discount for frenemies?!

"The Hills" pair were friendly with paparazzi, but looked extremely uncomfortable. Camera shy? Lauren, being the junior businesswoman she is, told photogs they, "Gotta watch 'The Hills'" if they want to know how she and Heidi are getting along.

Brody Jenner's physical therapist has found a new way to keep tabs on her patient -- by watching him on TMZ!

Lauren Conrad called into "The Hills" after-show on MTV Overdrive, where she revealed Jenner's PT has been checking out TMZ to see if Brody's been wearing his cast. Busted!

Jenner broke his finger in July while playing beach football with bud Frankie Delgado.

Cameras caught "The Hills" star leaving Opera last night, where she partied with co-star/ex-boyfriend Brody Jenner and his pal Frankie Delgado. LC was escorted to a waiting taxi by club security. No DUIs for Ms. Conrad!

Earlier in the day, Malibu Country Mart was hoppin' with a random group of celebs -- ass crackin' Kid Rock, rehabariffic Daniel Baldwin and superdad Dean Cain all hitting up the shopping area. Backstreet Boys were also spotted grabbing lunch as well.

Also out: The formerly TMZ-obsessed Sarah Paulson, Patrick Muldoon, Charles Barkley and Keenan Thompson, who had an awkward run-in with an excited fan on the street outside Geisha House. Sayonara!

LC and Audrina splashed around, while showing off toned bodies at the Beachbody House hosted by The Silver Spoon -- this must be how they stay fit; the Malibu beach workout diet!

Brody was also in attendance -- in the same shirt he'd wear later that night at Les Deux -- he's too cool for a late night wardrobe change! Gotta love that seawater smell!

Jenner spread the wealth as he handed a homeless man some cash, and in return, the dude gave Brody some street cred by declaring that Jenner was "real!" Reppin Malibu all day, err'day!