LC & Audrina: What Bitch Fight?

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In a move more transparent than a chick wearing white in a wet t-shirt contest, Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge set up an obvious PR stunt last night to "prove" they're still friends.

It's been forever since they've gone anywhere together -- and this move, coming just one day after TMZ broke the story the two were involved in a backyard rumble over an OK! magazine photo shoot, is definitely a little suspect.

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Pappers Shoot Heidi's Wad

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Heidi Montag had no problem flashing her cash to cameras inside an ATM booth. Too bad she couldn't figure out how to get out of it!

Sadly, she didn't stay trapped forever, but with all that new moolah we had only one question for her and Spence: Do they tip better in NYC than L.A.?

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Audrina and LC's Bitter Backyard Brawl!

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The fake drama has finally turned real! After LC came home last week to find a weekly mag doing a photo shoot with Audrina in the house they share, the claws were out!

Our spies say Lauren threw the hissy (stomping, the works) because she'd already promised exclusive pics of the backyard to another mag. Never mind that Audrina pays rent to her and had gotten the OK from LC's rep who, apparently, forget to clue their client in.

A spy on the set called it "uncomfortable" -- ya think? -- and Audrina hurried through the shoot to get the heck out of Dodge.

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LC's 15 Minutes Are Up!

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While reali-tease Lauren Conrad chilled in a West Hollywood hair salon Sunday, her time finally ran out.

LC's Time is Running Out

LC's meter expired as the paps watched, and a male metermaid wrote her a ticket as quickly as a script for "The Hills."

Our photog would've fed the meter for her, but it probably would've just thrown up the quarter. It is Hollywood after all.

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Brody Rubs One Out

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This is what Brody Jenner does all day long.

Spencer Pratt: I'm Stingy and Rich!

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Spencer Pratt couldn't help but brag about making $3 million a week -- likely a load of BS -- but instead of impressing, it only made him look like a bigger douche for leaving that $16 tip on a $783 bill!

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Spencer Pratt: Breast Supporting Role

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We learned two things last night. Heidi Montag doesn't know how to say goodbye and Spencer Pratt is totally irrelevant.

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Audrina: Flashing with Intent

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Audrina Patridge is a well oiled machine...you'll pardon the expression. She knew exactly what she was doing as she mounted an SUV in Bev Hills yesterday.

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Audrina's Hills Meant For One

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Audrina Patridge and her sister Casey had a few drinks in West Hollywood the night before last -- and the evening played out like a lame-ass episode of "The Hills."

TMZ spies overheard Audrina say she's now totally exclusive with borefriend/slacker Justin Bobby -- and LC is giving her the same cold shoulder she gave Heidi after the whole Spencer debacle.

And get this: Audrina said she might move out of Lauren's pad and shack up with Justin Bobby! Lucky bastard.

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"Hills" Babes Skank Their Way to the Top

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So on TMZ TV tonight, we're getting to the bottom of the skankiest question in Hollywood -- Which "Hills" chick is the biggest tramp?

Lauren Conrad was the original Queen Bee, until Heidi raised her game with a couple of "enhancements." But Audrina blew them both out of the water with those nude pics.

So the question is ...

Audrina's Boobs -- Fake as the Hills?

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Our photog told Audrina Patridge that we had a poll on the website asking if her hills were real or fake ... problem is, that poll doesn't exist.

Sorry, "didn't" exist.

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Audrina: LC Ya Later, Bitch!

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Audrina's replaced LC with the male version of Heidi Montag. And we don't mean Spencer.

Patridge and her skeezy, hated-by-LC ex Justin Bobby went to Dolce's fifth anniversary bash together last night. All is not well in "The Hills" -- LC was nowhere to be seen and was a no-show to the amateur centerfold's b-day party last week, too.

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Whitney's Dress is T*ts!

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Despite the scorching temperatures in L.A. this weekend, "Hills" star Whitney Port still had a nippy lunch at the Ivy.

Whitney's wardrobe malfunction turned the Robertson Blvd. eatery into the best breastaurant in the world.

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Most of Audrina Turns 23 in Las Vegas

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The only two reasons to watch "The Hills" celebrated her 23rd birthday at LAX Nightclub in Las Vegas night.

Audrina Patridge's birthday was actually on the 9th -- but who cares, really? Btw, no sign of Lauren at the shindig -- fake show frenemies are the worst kind!

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Heidi and Spencer: Annoying AND Cheap

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A source tells TMZ that Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt and two friends ran up a $783 bill at an L.A. restaurant last night -- and when Spency paid the bill, he tipped a whopping 16 bucks!

A camera crew was with the vomit-inducing twosome at the time -- no surprise there -- and our source says that when they stopped filming, the server approached a producer from the show about the measly tip. The producer forked over $60 from his own pocket to cover Spencer's shortcomings.

Included on the bill were 12 shots of platinum Patron at $60 a pop. Drinking and simple arithmetic just don't mix.

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