TMZ TV

Lisa Lampanelli dropped $44,000 to turn the gay-hating ways of the Westboro Baptist Church into a positive -- because, let's face it ... making stupid people look stupider is priceless.

Jim Carrey spent time with everyone who came near his table at Bar Pitti in NYC ... except the dude who was dining with him. That guy might as well have gotten a table for 1.

We know the guy in the mega-stretch Hummer is famous ... we just can't place the face. Whoever he is ... he goes places in style. What other celeb pulls a tuba out of a hot tub inside the limo?

Three 6 Mafia's DJ Paul is not down with something called a quadruple bypass burger -- and now that we mention it ... WHO would be? Apparently ... lots of hungry, hungry, HUNGRY people.

Wonder what Kirsten Dunst was thinking when filmmaker Lars von Trier announced he was down with Hitler at the Cannes Film Festival? You're in luck ... thanks to Thought Bubble technology!

Somehow ... Joe Jackson convinced someone to bottle his cologne -- and we've produced a commercial for the stench -- er, scent ... that is pure justice. For Michael Jackson.

Mel Gibson was booed like crazy while tooling around the Cannes Film Festival -- but it's TOTALLY not for the reason you would think ... or the OTHER reason you would think. Or the other ...

What's worse ... Arnold Schwarzenegger fathering an illegitimate child -- or Mel Gibson's infamous audio rants? Kinda decision that leaves you needing a shower, but still ... CHOOSE one!

Warning to The Situation's new Florence fling -- by our calculations she's now kissed everyone he's kissed! How do you say, "Tell me how Snooki tastes" ... in Italian?

In case you need a reason NOT to get married -- just listen to Adrianne Curry and her "Brady Bunch" hubby Christopher Knight RIP the institution to shreds.

Audrina Patridge's boney bikini body launched one of the most one-sided debates we've ever had -- is she too skinny to be hot? Hint: The answer is "Hell no."

It's quite possibly the most important debate of ALL TIME -- which celebrity's boobs are #1 on the "We Gotta See 'Em" list ... and we betcha can't guess who got top billing!

Forget tea time, we ALL -- or a few twisted individuals -- want to know if the British Royals have porn time. We got Kate Middleton -- or the actress who played her -- to give it up! The answer.

The herpes lawsuit against an unidentified A-list celebrity -- for a cool $20 million -- has everyone buzzing, and some are even naming THEIR price to catch a case! Hint: It's less than $20 mil.

Sex tape makin' "Real Housewives" star Danielle Staub may have her new claim to fame ... and it involves latching onto the fame of Oscar winning Three 6 Mafia member DJ Paul. Bagel, anyone?