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This Week's Biggest Losers 12/09/06

12/8/2006 7:34 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Who's being naughty and who's being nice? Beyond the questionable Spanish-speaking skills of Gwyneth and the rambling e-mail ruminations of Lindsay, here are five more celebs who appear to be a couple of ornaments short of a Christmas tree.

andy dickAndy Dick: Notice how one on-stage mention of the N-word by a white comedian burns up news radio, while more than a dozen equal offenses by a black comedian barely rate a mention? As TMZ first reported, tricky Dick set himself up for the inevitable "I am not a schnook" apology by trying to spoof Kramer's flame-out with his own heckle-and-run interruption of comedian Ian Bagg's Improv routine. Meanwhile, equal opportunity Laugh Factory offender Damon Wayans is, for all intents and purposes, still perceived as the cuddly dad from "My Wife and Kids," despite dishing out a saucy serving of N-sprinkled Chocolate Sundaes. Somewhere in Beverly Hills, 80-year-old trailblazer Don Rickles is shaking his head again and muttering, "Man, even I wouldn't go there."

jessica simpsonJessica Simpson: Meanwhile, Dick's ravishing "Employee of the Month" co-star got herself into a whole bunch of trouble as the Cinderella of this year's Kennedy Center Honors ball. Thanks, apparently, to an uncooperative dress, Simpson turned into a pumpkin way before midnight; more like around the 3 PM spot of her wobbly rendition of recipient Dolly Parton's classic hit "9 to 5." With sister Ashlee slip synching on "Saturday Night Live," and now Jessica face-planting in D.C., maybe these siblings should stick to the Pacific time zone. Or, just swing entirely the other way and hook up with Florida namesake O.J. for a triple-voiced rendition of the Dave Matthews ditty, "I Did It."

bob dylanBob Dylan: The last time Dylan topped the pop charts, disco was all the rage. But neither that fact, nor the bucket load of rave reviews for the troubadour's latest album "Modern Times," seems to have registered with grumpy Grammy voters. Instead of nominating his 2006 masterwork for Album of the Year, they dumped it into the 49th edition's off-camera category of Best Contemporary Folk/Americana Album. Then again, the Grammys is the kind of ceremony that can nominate Gnarls Barkley for Album of the Year, Record of the Year, Best Alternative Music Album and Best Urban/Alternative Performance, but not Best New Artist. Even though Dylan probably "Aint Gonna Grieve," this Dylan diss has got us humming "When You Gonna Wake Up?"

jennifer anistonJennifer Aniston: OK, first off, we're not trying to gang up on Jen again (any time we put her on this list, TMZ friends come to her defense). But c'mon. With the confirmation by People Magazine this week that Vaughniston is been gone-iston, the question becomes: what hot-blooded manly man can be counted on to put up with the perils of a fishbowl romance? Aniston could go the Halle Berry-male model route, or maybe take a page from Madonna and marry a sullen Brit director. The next few years in Jen's life are either one hell of a reality TV show or more fodder for Courteney Cox Arquette's shoulder. And if Jen is looking for any matchmaking advice from TMZ, we have just one suggestion: don't pick up K-Fed on the double rebound.

jennifer hudsonParamount, New Line, The Weinstein Company, Sony, Disney/Miramax: While "Dreamgirls" star Jennifer Hudson had to busy herself on MySpace with some gay-bashing denials, her backers at Paramount and folks elsewhere across Tinseltown are dealing with the fact that the latest awards pit stop (on the never ending film awards season trail) gave them no consideration FOR THEIR TOP PRIZE. When Warner Bros. got five out the year's ten best National Board of Review pictures, and organization President Annie Schulhof is said to have close personal ties to the studio, critics began connecting the dots. Put another way: if "Dreamgirls" star Eddie Murphy were still in the sketch comedy game, he'd be prepping the musical number, "Steppin' on the Bogus Side."

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and the tmz drama continues...

2784 days ago


Andy had to be high to do that...his timing sucked and for that matter so does he and his humor which was funny about a decade ago. Wayans, not sure he got a complete pass, it received national attention on some Television shows, and his timing sucks as well. He's supposed to be a genius comedian---but dropping an N bomb isnt considered genius or groundbreaking----two things he also hasnt been in nearly a decade.

Rickles, Newhart, Gregory, Bruce, Pryor---these are the geniuses of comedy, broke new ground, took us to new places and were funny. Dick and Wayans and a host of other present comics are simply revisiting the same places already discovered and frankly havent added much to it----I think the new shtick is "shock" and its just not all that funny anymore....Take us to a new place Dick and Wayans and all other comics of today, not the same places but now with shock---it isnt new or creative and its humor is waning.

2784 days ago

Andy Kaufman    

Nothing but empty, meainingless, phoney posers. If I was really dead I would be spinning in my grave. Andy K.

2784 days ago


It's not the N word that's getting people all's white or people who aren't black using the word as a perjorative/put down to black people. Jews can make fun of other Jews, Blacks say n*gger this n*gger that...but don't be a whitey and stand on stage and say "N*gger" as a put down to black people and not expect something to happen. Maybe Andy Dick could drive to Compton or Paramount and do a stint at an all black club...using the word N*gger and see what happens.
It's hate based humor...and it's not kewl with black people.

2783 days ago


...and I meant to say it's the white people who are using the word not "aren't"

2783 days ago


How about a little reality on Vince Vaughn, TMZ, or don't ya'll keep up with the news.. Does anyone with a brain doubt why she dumped that nasty pig. He's the loser of the week, not Aniston. He's the loser of the year.

2783 days ago


You're right, Margaret. I want to hear more about Vince Vaughan and what really went on during the Thanksgiving holiday. Enough about comedians and the N-word.

2783 days ago


I think you should have put the Grammys as the biggest loser instead of Bob Dylan. Modern Times was amazing, I quit watching the Grammys years ago because of crap like this.

2783 days ago

John C jackson    

Every album Bob Dylan has released in recent memory has been a hit...disco?
People who write this stuff probably think Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are "hit singers". lol

2783 days ago

John C jackson    

And why is a guy a pig ( Vaughn) for meeting some chick ( and they didnt even have sex) AFTER he and man-face were already broken-up?

2783 days ago


Damn that Simpson slut looks like a man in drag. Dick's (sic) problems are all coming from his association with her, that family is TOXIC.

2783 days ago

Henry O.    

To the columnist:

Clearly, you can report what ever you want on, since we do have then 1st amendment, however for you to even imply that the double standard on who "can" say the N*gger, is wrong--points to your inefficiency to comprehend power, who has it and what it means to those not in powerful positions in this society. It seems that you are unhappy about not being able to use the word yourself and as a result you are upset. Get over it, yes, there is a double standard and in light of our past, there should be one, but you can go ahead and say N*gger b/c, as you know, we have laws that protect that right. If you are white you are allowed to utter those words, but be prepared for the reactions you will get. You know...its sad that privilege clouds minds to the point where when excluded of something--resentment is held when privilege doesn%u2019t get you everything you want. In this case being: the right to say n*gger, if you wish, w/o it backfiring on you

2783 days ago


To the guy who left the second comment.

I'm not sure if the issue is whether or not Andy Dick is funny.

Also, was it ok for Richard Pryor to say it because it was funny back then? I don't understand this.

Let's face it. Black people say it, fine. White people say it, bad.

2783 days ago

george vieto    

Jessica Simpson solution to her stage fright problem. Have Iris Avila smack her on the bottom and Iris says "Mess up this song Miss Texas and you will have to go to the Jaguar Yokota Wrestling School so you can beat up real people like you hawk Directv.

2783 days ago


#2, tired of it all: You are absolutely right.

2783 days ago
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