The Mission: Boxing legend Bernard Hopkins wanted to take a stab at being a TMZ paparazzi on the streets of NYC today.
The Target: MTV star Kristin Cavallari ... who also happens to be married to Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler.
The Result: Bernard started off strong ... but things fizzled pretty quickly when it became clear Kristin had no idea who he was.
The Best Part: Bernard's post-shoot analysis ... where he talks about his paparazzi strengths and weaknesses ... and reminds us that Kristin's smokin' hot.
Ya gotta watch the clip -- B-Hop could have a stellar career behind the camera if the whole boxing thing doesn't work out.
Johnny Carson's Penis ...
I TOUCHED IT
3/12/2014 11:40 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Unlike the rest of the universe, Joan Rivers isn't all that curious about seeing how big Johnny Carson's penis really is in that sex tape -- because she says ... she's already seen it up close and personal.
Joan -- who guest hosted on Carson's "Tonight Show" for years -- said she and Carson had a "one night bounce" back in the day ... and he was hung like a horse.
Still, Joan says she REALLY wants to see the sex tape for another reason -- check the clip.
George Lopez Is an Amateur
This Is How You Pass Out!!!
3/12/2014 11:10 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
George Lopez is sorely mistaken if he thinks he can out-party the party king -- Charlie Sheen sent him a clear message on the set of "Anger Management" Tuesday ... no one passes out like the Warlock.
The clip's pretty funny -- Charlie and George shot it together ... mocking George's recent arrest at a casino for public drunkenness.
George paid Charlie a visit after scoring a major deal at FX for his new show "Saint George," the same exact deal Charlie got for "Anger Management" -- a guaranteed 10 episodes with a promise of 90 more if the ratings are good. It's a small gamble for a HUGE payoff.
3/12/2014 9:40 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
"Little People, Big World" couple Matt and Amy Roloff can't stand living together anymore -- they've just announced they're separating after 26 years of marriage.
Sources close to the couple tell TMZ, Matt and Amy have been living separately since the holidays -- Amy currently resides in the family's main house in Oregon ... Matt lives in the guest house.
We're told neither Amy nor Matt is currently pursuing other relationships -- they're just testing the waters living alone ... for now anyway. So far, divorce isn't on the table.
Matt has had a history of drinking problems -- such as his 2007 DUI -- but we're told alcohol was NOT an issue in the split.
The Roloffs -- who have 4 children -- released a statement, saying, "Though we have weathered many storms together, we recently made the tough decision to engage in a trial separation."
Sued Over 'Girls Gone Loco' 'Scam'
3/12/2014 8:29 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
10:16 AM PDT -- Lohan just told TMZ, "It's a lie." He says Spanish GGW was a real business venture and Reitano even met with Joe Francis. Michael also says there were no naked women involved. Has he seen the videos?
Michael Lohan used naked girls as bait to entice an investor to cough up thousands of dollars ... according to a guy who's suing Lohan for more than $1 million claiming he was had.
Richard Reitano says Lohan came to him in 2009 with a plan to dub over Girls Gone Wild videos in Espanol ... and then asked him to invest $100K.
According to the lawsuit, Lohan claimed GGW creator Joe Francis had given him the rights to the videos ... but he needed cash to get the ball rolling so Reitano loaned him $25K,
But Reitano claims it was all a scam because no videos were ever produced.
Reitano claims Lohan NEVER had the rights to the videos ... so he's suing to get his $25K back with interest ... plus another MILLION dollars to teach Lindsay's dad a lesson.
Breaks Huge 'Rock N' Jock' News
... Disses Justin Bieber
3/12/2014 8:00 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Dan Cortese and Bill Bellamy are BRINGING "ROCK N' JOCK" BACK ... well, at least that's the plan according to Dan.
TMZ Sports spoke with the former MTV star who tells us he and Bill Bellamy are officially trying to get the franchise back on the air ... but Dan says there's just one catch.
FYI -- RNJ was HUUUGE back in the day ... with Dan and Bill scoring big stars like George Clooney to mix with music stars, athletes and other celebs for A-list softball, basketball and even football games.
So, which stars are Dan and Bill hoping to land for the show this time around?
Watch the clip -- it ain't Justin Bieber ... that's for damn sure.
Nick Saban Is the Enemy
LSU Needs to Kick His Ass
3/12/2014 6:51 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Now that he's finally free, Lil Boosie is working on the important things in his life -- starting with fixing the LSU football program.
The Baton Rouge rapper was talking to the LSU student TV network a couple of days ago ... when he declared war on Alabama head coach Nick Saban.
"Nick Saban gettin' all our recruits," Boosie said ... "We need to bring back them #1 players and get it back together man."
For the record, LSU isn't that bad ... and finished the 2013 season ranked #15 after going 10-3. But apparently, that's not good enough for Boosie.
In fact, the rapper even makes a recruiting plea to undecided high school football stars -- "put on that yellow jersey!"
Before he finished, Boosie reaffirmed his love for the Tigers -- saying, "I'm gonna bet the house on LSU ... win lose or draw."
'Basketball Wives' Star
Pregnant Women Should KILL Temperamental Cats
3/12/2014 6:42 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
"Basketball Wives" star Jackie Christie thinks pregnant women with ornery cats should kill the kitties by hanging, choking or other means if necessary.
It's pretty shocking ... our photog asked Jackie (in the dark blouse) and her friend, Sundy Carter (who appeared in "Bringing Down the House" and "Soul Plane") about what a pregnant woman should do with a temperamental cat.
Both women have no mercy for fearless felines. In fact, Jackie actually thinks cats can suck the soul out of babies and even kill them.
You gotta see this.
Allegedly Involved in Kidnapping & Brutal Beating
Over Missing Jewelry
3/12/2014 1:00 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Floyd Mayweather allegedly orchestrated a savage attack on two of his employees he suspected of stealing his jewelry ... TMZ has learned.
Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ Sports ... the two men had been hired to work on Floyd's Vegas homes ... but when jewelry went missing, Floyd pointed the finger at them.
We're told the men claim they were contacted several weeks ago and instructed to meet Floyd at an off-site location.
When the men arrived, they claim Floyd was waiting for them -- along with a number of his "people" -- who proceeded to beat the living crap out of them with various weapons, including clubs.
Our sources say the attack was so brutal the men could have easily died. Both men had broken arms and legs and were hospitalized for several days.
One source put it this way, "It was some 'Breaking Bad' s**t."
We're told the men are adamant they never took anything from Floyd and it appears Floyd realizes that now. But here's the problem for the champ -- sources familiar with the situation say the attack amounts to attempted murder, mayhem and kidnapping. We're told the men have retained a lawyer.
We reached out to Floyd's people for comment -- so far, no word back.
George Zimmerman Parents
Suing Roseanne Barr
She Tried To Get Us Lynched
3/12/2014 12:50 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Roseanne Barr tried to rouse a lynch mob to terrorize George Zimmerman's parents ... because she wanted vigilante justice after the shooting of Trayvon Martin ... according to a new lawsuit.
Robert and Gladys Zimmerman are suing the comedienne ... claiming they feared for their lives after Barr made angry comments about the Zimmermans on Twitter in 2012 ... and even posted their home address online.
The lawsuit claims Barr intentionally tried to cause the Zimmermans emotional distress and great physical harm, by inciting mob violence.
The Zimmermans claim they were forced to flee their home after Barr tweeted their address. They're suing her for $15K in damages ... minimum.
Khloe and Kourtney
Film Crew Suspected in Thefts
3/12/2014 12:45 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
The Kardashians have a Benedict Arnold on their TV show ... a thief ... a jewelry thief ... at least that's what law enforcement sources believe.
TMZ broke the stories ... $250,000 worth of jewelry was stolen from Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's former Tarzana home, and $50,000 cash was pilfered from Kourtney's Calabasas mansion.
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... whoever stole Khloe and Lamar's jewelry knew exactly what they were looking for. The thief or thieves took only the very expensive items, leaving the rest behind. They knew exactly where to look and what to take.
What makes it look like even more of an inside job ... there was NO sign of forced entry at either home.
Our law enforcement sources believe someone from the crew of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" is the culprit.
We're told crew members are being questioned, but so far no one has copped to the crimes.
'Half Baked' Star
My Ex-Neighbor Mailed Condoms
To My Underage Daughters
3/12/2014 12:20 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
"Half Baked" star Jim Breuer's ex-neighbor is now facing felony stalking charges -- after allegedly mailing a box of condoms to the actor's Jersey house ... in a perverted joke involving Jim's underage daughters.
Sources close to Jim tell TMZ, the actor's been having problems with Giuseppe Ionfrida for a couple years ... but it got particularly twisted back in December.
We're told Ionfrida allegedly left extremely creepy comments on a YouTube video about Jim, such as ... "How's your three pretty daughters doing ;)" Days later, Jim claims Ionfrida shipped him a box of condoms.
We're told Jim called police in early January, and Ionfrida was arrested on felony stalking charges.
We spoke to Ionfrida who told us he denies leaving the YouTube comments about Jim and his daughters. He did say he doesn't like his kids hanging around Jim -- which is an issue since their kids are friends.
We reached out to Breuer ... he had no comment.
Ionfrida has a hearing Wednesday on the stalking charges... and is prohibited from contacting Jim and his family as a condition of bail.