Playboy, hot models, big hard ... clubs, and NOT Oscar winner Kevin Kline ... but a comedian named Kevin Klein -- all the ingredients for a hardcore golf tournament!
Unless of course ... you're the hottie whose ass was used as a tee box, and battered in the process.
Guess Who This
Pixie Cut Princess
3/15/2014 12:01 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Before this short-haired cutie had her place in the Hollywood hierarchy she was just another cute kid growing up in Medford, Oregon. Can you guess who she is?
*HINT -- she still has the same short brunette hairstyle!**
Lady Gaga Puking Stunt Was Despicable
3/14/2014 4:42 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Demi Lovato -- who's struggled with an eating disorder for years -- says Lady Gaga's puking stunt at SXSW was despicable because it glamorizes a terrible disease in the name of art.
Lovato just laid a thick amount of shame on Gaga via Twitter ... saying "Sad ... As if we didn't have enough people glamorizing eat [sic] disorders already."
Demi adds, "Putting the word ART in it isn't a free card to do whatever you want without consequences."
One Twitter user quipped back ... Gaga has struggled with an eating disorder herself and spoke about it before the performance ... but Demi insists that doesn't give her a pass.
After Being Thrown Out of Rehab ... Again
3/14/2014 2:29 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Chris Brown is on his way to jail right now, because he violated a judge's order by getting booted from the rehab facility where he's been living for nearly 4 months ... TMZ has learned.
The judge in the Rihanna beating case ordered Chris to live in the Malibu rehab facility for 90 days to get anger management therapy, and he completed the stint earlier this month. BUT ... at the last court hearing, the judge modified things and ordered Chris to stay in the facility while the Washington D.C. assault case ran its course.
The deal was this ... if Chris left rehab, he would go directly to jail.
Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ ... Brown was thrown out of the rehab facility this morning, for violating "internal rules." We do not know precisely what Chris did, but we're told it did not involve violence or drugs.
Sources tell TMZ ... Chris was caught having "an inappropriate relationship" with a female worker at the beginning of the month, but that is NOT why he was thrown out today.
As you recall, Chris was previously thrown out of a different facility for throwing a rock at his mom's car window.
Chris was picked up by L.A. County Sheriff's deputies this afternoon and is now in jail ...being held with no bail.
I See Your Stupid Question
... and Raise You a Nonsensical Response
3/14/2014 1:47 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Dear Common Sense, the English Language and Rational Thought,
We at TMZ apologize for the following video. We apologize for our photog's silly question, for Macy Gray's, non-sensical response ... and especially for Macy's reference to blue testicles.
We promise to do better next time. We make no promises, however, for Macy.
All the best,
P.S. Macy is hilarious!
132-Pound Scrotum Guy
Dead at 49
3/14/2014 1:25 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
This is nuts -- Wesley Warren (the man famous for his 132-pound scrotum) has passed away from a non-scrotum health issue.
According to reports, Warren passed away Friday at University Medical Center after suffering two heart attacks in recent weeks.
Warren's friend told the Vegas Review-Journal, Warren's been hospitalized for the last 5-and-a-half weeks for infections stemming from his diabetes, and suffered the heart attacks while in the hospital.
Prior to his surgery last summer to remove the exercise ball-sized growth, Warren used to wear hooded sweatshirts as pants, using the hood as a makeshift scrotum sling.
Warren had suffered from an extreme case of scrotal lymphedema, which causes the scrotum to swell with watery fluid. He appeared on the Howard Stern Show as well as Comedy Central.
Warren was 49.
Buys New Mercedes
PAYS IN FULL
3/14/2014 12:41 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Unlike most 16-year-olds -- who scrape together money from their part time job to go halfsies with their parents on a used Ford Taurus -- "Modern Family" star Ariel Winter just picked up a brand new Mercedes ... and paid for it in full.
Winter hit up her local Mercedes dealer recently and scored a fully loaded C350, blacked out with the AMG package. We're told Ariel and her sister went in with the idea of getting something nice, but also responsible and safe.
Our sources tells us Winter's dad -- who only recently began siding with Ariel and her sister in their battle against Ariel's mom -- was there to help her sign the papers. Once the deal was closed, Ariel wired the full payment ... just north of $50,000. APR financing is for suckers!
And get this ... the guy in the photo, who sold Ariel the car, is former soap star/current car salesman Matt Borlenghi. The funny part is ... Ariel's mom sued him for defamation in 2012.
Probably not a coincidence.
MJ's Chimp Bubbles
Jane Goodall's LYING
No One Spanked the Monkey
3/14/2014 12:30 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Just like her beloved chimpanzees ... Jane Goodall is throwing crap at the wall -- at least that's the word from people who witnessed Michael Jackson's relationship with Bubbles.
Several people who were with Bubbles on almost a day-to-day basis tell TMZ ... MJ adored the chimp, and treated him like a member of his family -- and the notion that he or anyone around him brutalized the chimp is garbage.
We're told the Michael Jackson Estate has recognized how much the singer loved Bubbles by contributing money to the sanctuary where the chimp now lives.
Bubbles, we're told, was almost joined at the hip with Michael, mimicking him and various others at Neverland. We were told one story where Bubbles got down on his knees after seeing one of the maids and started dusting the floor. The whole slave labor thing aside, Michael proudly hugged the chimp.
And Michael actually made Bubble's his plus one at his lawyer John Branca's wedding. Bubbles showed up in a tux to cheer on Branca -- who now runs the MJ Estate.
Geraldo, Kate, Brandi, Kenya and Keshia
Joining the Cast
3/14/2014 11:00 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
"Celebrity Apprentice" is still weeks away from announcing its latest contestants, but TMZ spies have come through again ... with a list of celebs who will be duking it out this season.
TMZ has learned Geraldo Rivera and former "Cosby Show" star Keshia Knight Pulliam are among the cast members for the upcoming season.
In addition, our spies say two "Real Housewives" -- Brandi Glanville from Bev Hills and Kenya Moore from Atlanta -- will also be doing the show.
Kate Gosselin's name has been rumored for a while now ... and TMZ can confirm she'll be trying to get on Donald Trump's good side as well.
"Celebrity Apprentice" is still a ratings force on Sunday nights and has helped re-launch the careers of Joan Rivers, Arsenio Hall, Trace Adkins and Piers Morgan.
Wait, maybe not that last one ...
Are You Banging Selena???
Lawyer Demands Answer
3/14/2014 10:15 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Justin Bieber can run, but he can't hide -- the lawyer who deposed him last week wants to force the singer to answer the Selena Gomez questions he rudely dodged last week ... and then have Bieber punished for acting like a self-entitled jackass.
As we reported, Bieber stormed out of his Miami deposition stemming from his photog-beating lawsuit -- after the pap's attorney tried to ask if he's dating Selena. Bieber cut him off, saying, "Don't ask me about her! Do not ask me about her!" and took off.
The lawyer has now filed court docs, insisting he was entitled to ask Bieber about Selena -- because she was present during another alleged photog attack in 2012 ... and what transpired then is relevant to the current case because it shows Bieber has a pattern of aggression toward photogs.
But really, it appears the lawyer wants to establish Bieber and Selena are close -- in the event Selena tries to discredit the photog's case at a later deposition. If Selena and Justin are dating, Selena could be considered a biased witness ... and therefore not credible.
The lawyer wants a judge to force Bieber to answer his Selena questions.
He also wants the judge to fine Bieber for acting like a jerkoff during the deposition -- especially for cussing out the poor innocent court reporter.
Michael Lohan to Son
Mommy's in Jail Again ...
We're Going to Court
3/14/2014 7:45 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Another fun photo for the Lohan Family album ... Michael Lohan showed up to court this morning in Florida for baby mama Kate Major's arraignment ... pushing their young child in a stroller.
As TMZ first reported, Major was arrested Thursday night after she got into a huge fight with Lohan, tried to drive away ... but crashed and got busted for DUI.
According to the police report, obtained by TMZ, the officer on the scene asked Major to perform SIX field sobriety tests ... and she didn't pass a single one.
When asked to touch her finger to her nose, the report says ... "Major missed the tip of her nose on her second, third, fourth, and fifth attempts. Touching her nostril on her second, third, and fourth attempts, and touching the space between her nose and upper lip on her fifth attempt."
As for reciting the alphabet -- "On her first attempt she gave the sequence LMX twice and spoke at a really fast pace. On her second attempt she did not keep her eyes closed and got stuck on the letter V. Major was never able the recite the alphabet from A to Z."
Police say her BAC was .243 -- more than 3 times the legal limit. According to the report, she fittingly told police, "I know I have a drinking problem."
Major was arraigned on the DUI charge, plus a battery charge for the fight with Lohan. She'll be in jail until her next hearing ... on Tuesday.
I Might Be Gluten-Free
But I'm Still a Hot Date!
3/14/2014 7:02 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Going out with a girl with dietary restrictions can be tough on a guy, but when that girl is Emmy Rossum ... guys get over it QUICK.
Our photog in NYC caught the "Shameless" star out and about yesterday and asked her about having celiac disease, which makes the body unable to tolerate foods that contain gluten.
But when our guy asked if it affected her dating life, Emmy made it clear ... it's not a problem AT ALL.
Super hot chick, huge sports fan ... yeah, hard to see guys caring about gluten.
BOTCHES 'WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE'
'One of My Worst Songs Ever'
3/14/2014 6:58 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Billy Joel HATES "We Didn't Start the Fire" ... at least he sure made it seem that way during a concert in Toronto, when he screwed up the lyrics and then RIPPED the song apart.
The Piano Man was performing at the Air Canada Centre on March 9 when he tripped up over the lyrics right around the time he was supposed to sing about Rosenberg's H-Bomb.
That's when he stopped the band dead in their tracks ... and went off -- saying, "All you gotta do is f**k up one word in that song and it's a train wreck."
On the video, unearthed by RollingStone.com, Joel continued to gripe, "It's the same thing verse after verse ... Just the words change. It's one of the worst melodies I ever wrote."
JFK ain't the only one blown away ...