Janice Melts in Miami
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Disguised as a goomah with her Jersey shore wannabe "Soprano," surgically reassembled prehistoric supermodel Janice Dickinson and her boyfriend, Joe Kaplan, basked in the Miami sun this weekend. It's so frickin' hot down here, fughettaboudit!
Silicone is known to be somewhat heat resistant.
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Greasy Bear -- Now Available with 50% Less Fat!
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A new and improved version of Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis was unveiled on the beaches of Australia on Sunday. Is that a two pack he's sporting?
All the same douchebaggery -- but with half the calories!
TMZ Catches VD
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After keeping it on the down low for the last couple of years, muscle man Vin Diesel made a fabulous return to the Hollywood scene on Thursday.
After "The Chronicles of Riddick," and supposedly dating Michelle Rodriguez, it's amazing anyone still wants the 40-year-old action star's autograph!
Vida Bustin' Out All Ovah!
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TMZ cameras caught up with video vixen and mens mag pin-up hottie Vida Guerra, who was letting her girls breathe. Wear that extra small top, mami!
Vida was asked a few questions about the current state of the pop culture, although it looks like she's knows more about popping out.
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Andy Roddick No Retouching Necessary!
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He may not be as pumped as his photo-enhanced Men's Fitness cover from last year, but tennis hottie Andy Roddick has still got game -- and a lean, ripped chest!
Roddick and his fellow tennis hunks got fans hot and bothered by playing shirtless during practice sessions for the Australian Open on Friday. Love all!
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Good Lord That's a Nice Ass!
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Kim Cattrall is the luckiest woman on the planet. Folks, this is her job.
Kimmy is actually getting paid to grab Jason Lewis' bare ass. Maybe the "SATC" movie will be good!
Get the fluffer, stat!
But Will Their Divorce Be Televised?
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It isn't easy being the only reality show dating competition romance to withstand the test of time, marriage, childbirth and most importantly -- having cameras shut off!
Former "Bachelorette" Trista Rehn ('memba her?!) and her chosen hunkband Ryan Sutter showed off their 5-month-old son Maxwell -- and their ripped bods -- on the beach in Hawaii on Thursday. Say cheese!
You couldn't cast a better looking family pic if you tried.
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Kim K. -- A Brainiac??!
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Bulletin!! Kim Kardashian will be invited to join Mensa before Paris Hilton. She's figured out it's cheaper to put $.25 in a meter than paying a $40 fine -- a concept that utterly escapes our favorite ex-con.
Milian to Hudgens I Do Sexy Better
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Christina Milian says in a sexy contest between herself and Vanessa Hudgens, the "High School Musical' star must plead no contest on grounds of youth.
We got C.M. at a Hollywood newsstand eyeing her hot bikini shots. Like us, she liked what she saw.
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Calvin Klein's Obsession -- the Gym
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Spotted with a Donatella Versace golden orange glow, designer Calvin Klein trolled around Miami's South Beach on Saturday and showed off his buff, worked-out arms and perky man-nips. CK Guns! Paging Barry Bonds!
The 65-year-old fashion legend's bod looks great -- despite the Fire Island, collegiate, Aberzombie and Fitch outfit!
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Gisele Eats!
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And they say the Loch Ness Monster is a rare sighting!
Wannabe Female Model Is Really a Dude?!
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Perhaps the only thing differentiating Bravo's "Make Me a Supermodel" series from the horde of other reality catwalk clones is that one of the female finalists may be a biological man! For the love of Zarf!
On the show's casting special, 22-year-old Fort Lauderdale hottie Shannon Pallay joked about her tomboy status by saying that "despite my extremely feminine physical appearance, I'm actually a man." Move over RuPaul, there's a new gender-bending supermodel in da house!
According to her bio on Bravo's website, Miss Shannon "describes herself as confident, polite, reserved and outgoing -- and says she is constantly contradicting herself." You can say that again!
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French Prez & Carla Try Egyptian Dip
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Yum! If anyone was wondering what French prez Sarkozy saw in Carla Bruni, perhaps this will help clarify things. And vice versa?
The 52-year-old tete of state took a dip with his model hottie girlfriend at the Red Sea in Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt. Holy Moses!
Funny, in the 2,537 days George Bush has been in office, we've never seen him and Laura splashing around in Texas -- then again, let's all be in touch with our gratitude in the new year.
Girls Just Want to Have Sun
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Much to the dismay of local sunbathers, a pasty Cyndi Lauper exposed her bulging, er, muscles on the cloudy beaches of Maui on Wednesday.
No question about it, milky white is the gorgeous and talented 54-year-old's true color.
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French Prez and Hottie Not in De-Nile!
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The French aren't like us -- they're lovin' freshly divorced President Sarkozy -- checking out the pyramids with his hottie girlfriend, model/singer Carla Bruni! Imagine if Bill had divorced Hillary and taken up with, say, Heidi Klum -- there would have been a movement to impeach him! Oh, wait. Nevermind.
But in France, where love is synonymous with all things French, the president is just another older dude in too-tight jeans with a hot, younger babe. Toujours l'amour!
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Christina Milian Dips it Low
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Doppler radar revealed temperatures reached new highs in Miami on New Year's -- when Christina Milian showed off her slammin' bikini-clad bod! Storm watch!
While her music career may have fizzled, at least the 26-year-old "Be Cool" star is way hot!