Jonas Bros Lords of the Purity Rings
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Russell Brand be damned! America's favorite Evangelical Christian dandy boy band virgins, the Jonas Brothers, showed off their sexual abstinence bling in London on Wednesday.
Their bodyguard, Jordin Sparks, was nowhere in sight.
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Brand Blasted for Cherry Pickin'
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The Jonas Brothers all wear purity rings -- but VMA host Russell Brand got in some serious hot water with his extremely impure jokes about the Disney virgins.
Humorless "Idol" champ Jordin Sparks ('memba her!?) defended the boys after Brand bragged he'd bag 'em all by the end of the night. Hope he stayed away from Nick -- that kid's only 15!
Call Them Lame, But at Least They're Sober
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Most bands hang at strip clubs, get wasted and trash hotel rooms. The Jonas Brothers build cardboard boats to psych themselves up before a concert.
93.3FLZ caught all the action -- or lack thereof.
Lennon to Jonas Bros: You Ain't So Fab
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Imagine there's no Jonas Brothers .... It's easy if you try -- at least according to John Lennon's son.
Not only does Sean not know who the hell those guys are, but outside LAX yesterday the 32-year-old Beatle spawn asked if they were, "like a Disney cartoon or something?" Yeah, something like that.
You can't expect a guy and his lady friend to know about pop culture, when they just stepped out of "The Great Gatsby!"
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Jonas Brothers Can't Keep It Up
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Jonas Brothers, meet jumpable shark.
That's the buzz after flaccid first-week sales of "A Little Bit Longer," which, according to Billboard, fell short of the big numbers. The projections were for 600k-plus and as many as 725, but they came in at 515,000.
In the perspective department, Lil' Wayne did well over a mil in the first week, but Jordin Sparks -- she won "American Idol," memba? Her grand total -- 119,000.
Jonas Brothers Are So Fab
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They may not know who they are, but the ever original Jonas Brothers now have something in common with the Beatles other than maniacal screaming teen fans.
The Brothers Jonai unknowingly paid homage to the Fab Four's classic "Abbey Road" album cover by crossing a Virginia Beach street in single file.
And that's where the comparisons end.
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Crabby Road? Jonas Bros Blow Off Beatles
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The pre-teen hysteria caused by the Jonas Brothers has been compared to Beatlemania -- so we challenged the boys, who weren't even fetuses when the Fab Four were huge, to name just one -- ONE -- of the Beatles.
It didn't go well ... but we're just surprised our photog knew all three Jonases by first name.
Selena Gomez Gives Nick Jonas the Finger
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Miley Cyrus ain't gonna like this one!
Disney diva Selena Gomez is thumbs-up and ready to go when it comes to her relationship with Nick Jonas.
Pap the Victim of "Police" Brutality
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The WWE needs to sign Steve Guttenberg ... STAT! The Goot accidentally ran through some Jonas Brothers' fan spillover in NYC -- where he decided to put on a fake pap ass kickin' show for the masses.
Ed McMahon Seeks to Join Jonas Brothers
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America's favorite Evangelical Christian singing dandy trio, the Jonas Brothers, just bought this $2.9 million, 7,360 square foot, six bedroom, six bath mansion in a Dallas gated community.
Poor Ed could use a spare room.
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In the Name Of All That Is Holy
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It was all about JC today, and we don't mean Chasez. While Evangelical Christian boy band the Jonas Brothers had hordes of tweens screaming in NYC, Heidi Montag couldn't help but give a shout out to Mary's miracle baby in L.A.
Also: Stripper chic Shauna Sand's parenting tips left us dumbfounded and R. Lee Ermey summed up the rest -- the peeps in Hollywood these days are just "hopeless."
Jonas Bros Descend on Virgin
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The streets and sidewalks of New York turned into a mad sea of screaming, crying, hysterical tweenage girls last night -- all for a little band called the Jonas Brothers.
Barricades were set up outside their hotel, and the scene was even crazier at the Virgin Megastore in Times Square. Here's what we're wondering ... why the Virgin thing, since kids are all about the download.
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Jonas Bros. Ditch Spotlight Live after Killing
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The Jonas Brothers were supposed to make a super-hyped appearance on Saturday morning at NYC's Spotlight Live -- but we were just told that they and their squealing fans will be going elsewhere following the killing that took place at the club.
A source at New York radio station Z100, which is co-hosting the Jonas Bros. event, confirms that the gig has been moved to a new venue -- Webster Hall. Spotlight Live is still advertising the Jonases on their website's homepage. We're told it was the radio station and not the Bros. who made the switch.
An employee of the club was just arrested by the NYPD in connection with the killing of Ingrid Rivera.
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Even the Jonas Bros. Forget Archuleta Exists
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It's hard to tell the Jonas Brothers apart sometimes, but here's a hint: David Archuleta isn't one of them.
Kevin, Joe and Nick were so happy about their Teen Choice Awards victories, they blogged about it on their MySpace page. They were particularly jazzed about their win for Most Fanatical Fans. The only problem is they didn't win that award -- David Archuleta did.
Don't take away the one thing he's won!
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Jonas Bros Infiltrated by Teenie Stalkers
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The Jonas Brothers may want to send this letter to their fan club: "Dear crazy girls, Get a life. Leave us the hell alone. XOXO." It should be addressed to the two tween wackadoodles who tried entering their home turf yesterday.
These Jonas Brothers loons tried to get a glimpse of the teen phenoms by climbing on to their Toluca Lake, Calif. home -- one even got up on the roof. Shouldn't you be in summer school?!?
If you're not willing to get arrested for the Jonas Brothers, then you aren't really a fan.
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Miley 2.0 Can't Speak for Herself
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Is there an echo in here? Selena Gomez was asked about her rumored hook-up with Nick Jonas -- but only parroted back what her flack told her to say.