Matthew B. -- Take My Wife's Dog, Please!
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Seriously, folks -- could Matthew Broderick be trying any harder to unload this innocent little dog?
We kid, of course, but consider the evidence: First, he dresses the cute critter in a two-tone green sweater, all matchy-matchy with his even greener pants. Then, he prances the pooch for blocks in a busy part of the West Village.
And finally, he leaves the dog tied to a parking meter while he goes food shopping -- where anyone and everyone could just walk away with their own hot dog.
That Paris ... What a Bitch!
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TMZ spotted a couple of bulldogs in Hollywood and they gave their opinion of Paris Hilton.
She gets no love from them either.
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Horse Survives Jacko's Baby Mama
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Jacko's ex-wife, Debbie Rowe, is quite a cowgirl. A denim-clad Deb clearly demonstrated her connection with creatures -- petting her dog and mounting a horse.
Rowe ge$tated Jackson's first two children, Prince Michael and Paris.
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PETA Tells Pedro -- Go Cluck Yourself!
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Pedro Martinez was caught on camera tossing roosters into a cockfight -- and now, PETA is throwing a high, hard one back at him for the deed.
In a letter obtained by TMZ, PETA slams Pedro for setting "a terrible example" for fans, especially the kids, and points out that Major League Baseball discourages its players from gambling of any kind.
It's the New Dance Craze! Do the Gum-Gum!
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Gummi Bear emerged from hibernation to party at the Green Door in Hollywood -- and when he was complimented on his ursine ensemble, he trumpeted, "All velvet!" as he launched into an impromptu cha-cha, henceforth known as the Gum-Gum!
The wooly wiggler was accompanied by his new assistant, "Fallon."
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Cat Chow
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That feline creature and famed rebuilt divorcee Jocelyn Wildenstein and her dandy designer beau Lloyd Klein purred their way through paps into one of their favorite scratching posts last night, Mr. Chow.
Usually swathed in animal print couture, the kittified socialite went relatively incognito in a classic black and red number. Catwoman and Lloyd enjoyed a fancy feast.
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Bueller Eyes His Bitch
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A pale, cold and plump Matthew Broderick looks ready for ski patrol in the Valley of the Jolly Green Giant.
That's his dog wearing one of Sarah Jessica Parker's old sweaters from "Sex and the City."
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Liza Minnelli Sports Chewbacca Chic
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The original celebuspawn was spotted at a New York airport yesterday, wearing the latest in Star Wars glam -- these lovely Wookiee boots. Ugh.
The last we heard of Miss Minnelli was last December, when she collapsed after a bubbly performance in Sweden, and returned to the U.S. to see her doctors. Now she's back on her feet, albeit in these horrifying "vagabond shoes," and performs tonight in Friant, Calif.
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Bitch Steals Bond Girl's Thunder
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Famke Janssen is the gorgeous star of "Goldeneye" and "X-Men" -- so what the heck was our camera guy thinking when he focused his lens on her dog?!
TMZ caught Famke and her Boston Terrier, Licorice, in NYC yesterday -- and while the dog is definitely cute, her credits aren't nearly as impressive as Famke's.
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Johnny Knoxville Straps Down a Panda
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The whack job was caught driving around L.A. with a seat-belted stuffed animal panda in his passenger seat. Maybe Johnny's auditioning for "Lars and the Real Girl, Part 2."
Tom Brady Is a Wiener
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Everybody wants their little one to grow up Brady.
New England Patriots quarterback (do we really have to explain?) Tom Brady was dogged yesterday in NYC by a fan who just happened to have named one of his little foofy pooches "Tom Brady." We're pretty sure he wasn't kidding.
And yes, Brady was carrying his own small dog. Probably Gisele's. We think.
Rob Zombie's Dog is #1
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You'd think that heavy metal rocker/director Rob Zombie would own a badass, giant Rottweiler-type dog -- and not some little froufrou pup.
But Rob doesn't care what you think.
Rebecca Gayheart Is in Deep S**t
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She may not be able to navigate a curb, but Rebecca Gayheart really knows how to curb her dog! Yet another crappy role!
The 36-year-old "Dead Like Me" star was snapped in Beverly Hills -- picking up after her dog. McSteamy!
It's fantastic that Rebecca is looking out for her fellow pedestrians.
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Dog Dead Afternoon Suit for Pet Shop to the Stars
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Pets of Bel Air -- the trendy pet shop that was exposed for having purchased their dogs from puppy mills -- has been hit with a class action suit by one dissatisfied customer. Their celeb clients include Paris Hilton, Denise Richards, Demi Moore, Britney Spears and Robin Williams.
In a lawsuit filed today in Los Angeles Superior Court, Wayne Kreger alleges he purchased a Chihuahua puppy from the store in August 2007. He claims he was told that dog was a "purebred American Kennel Club Chihuahua" and would be given papers proving it. He claims he never got the papers.
TMZ Geographic: Aloha Gummi Bear!
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Maui tourists gawked and snapped photos of something rarely seen in the island paradise -- a Gummi Bear! The non-indigenous critter apparently stowed away on a private jet, and drawn by the smell of coconut tanning lotion, took over a sturdy chaise lounge at a resort -- to the delight and horror of beachgoers.
Wearing a lime green sarong to complement his pink shirt and yellow hair, the Hobbit-footed Gummi rolled onto his back and revealed the unfortunate remnants of a bacterial infection obtained during the drought in Los Angeles.
It was reported that Gummi's granny, Barbara Bear, was horrified by the attention of wildlife lovers and paparazzi -- and ran back to the hotel to console herself with her $4 billion-dollar fortune.
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Paris Takes Zoo to Hawaii
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The sisters Hilton tagged along with mom and dad for a Hawaiian holiday -- causing beachgoers to snark and gape at the circus that follows Paris wherever she brings her loveliness.
Paris wore a curiously Pilgrimish bucket hat and fierce sun dress, while sister Nicky showed off her vavavoom curves in a hot bikini. Oh, and the bird -- the owner says "Its name is Parrot Hilton."