The Hills

Heidi Montag is getting one guy in deep doo-doo, and it's not Spencer.

During court proceedings in Rowan County, N.C., Judge Kevin Eddinger caught lawyer Todd Paris checking out a Maxim magazine with the topless Heidi on its cover. The judge was so steamed about it, he threw the book (not the mag) at the attorney. According to the Salisbury Post, the judge fined Todd $300, gave him a 15-day suspended jail sentence and put him on unsupervised probation. Who knew Heidi could cause such a stir?

Though the girls were screaming "We're naked" and called LC's male sidekick their "dad," Conrad was obliging, talking to them and giving hugs before driving off.

Don't say we didn't warn you.

TMZ has learned that Heidi Montag's attempted aural assault first single, called "Higher," is on its way in just a few short weeks, with a digital-only release on February 5 -- the same time that the video, produced by the Spencer Pratt, comes out. If you thought you'd heard quite enough on Ryan Seacrest's show ('memba that?), that wasn't really the single. Yes, that means there's more.

If anything, the single should be a fascinating tableaux of musical styles, as Heidi, in a release, cites such musical influences as Jesus, Theron Feemster (no, we didn't, either) and Britney Spears.

LC and buddy Audrina were completely engulfed by paps in a crowd of rowdy Goa wannagos last night, and while the walk to the bar was manic, the worst part was one girl who shouted, "I love Heidi!" as Lauren walked by. Awkward!

TMZ caught the villainous "Hills" twosome at Jet at the Mirage in Vegas, where they were all over each other, even though their wedding is off.

The only thing that would've made things worse: Heidi singing.

The club was at full capacity, so LC's sidekick was forced to stand outside -- BTW, a few nobodies were let in before her.

She didn't get fully Reid-ed (or was that Chyna-ed). A frustrated Patridge called the manager on her cellphone and the path was cleared.

TMZ caught the "Laguna Beach" blonde leaving Villa, where she shared her opinion on knocked-up youngsters and booze-riddled Hollywood road warriors.

Miss Audrina mostly wanted to just find her ride, but did take time to chat while walking in circles. The reality hottie fessed up to having an ultimate goal of acting -- and admitted she wasn't sure if she wanted to do the small or large screen. All that practice on "The Hills" will surely pay off.

TMZ caught Brody Jenner's BFF outside of Hyde last night with a couple of overly touchy friends -- one sliding his tongue along Delgado's cheek, the other mounting him after Frankie lamented being single.

With pals like these, who needs a girlfriend?

It's only a matter of time until we can't tell them apart at all.

We're just sayin'...

The question is: With that grin, and those eyes, is the name-check really necessary? Does anyone in the developed world not know who this man is?

Ladykiller Brody Jenner nearly missed a scheduled appearance at Chicago nightclub Enclave on Saturday night, after he got booted from an American Airlines flight shortly before takeoff in Dallas.

And he wasn't the only troublemaker. An A.A. spokesperson tells TMZ that "several passengers refused to comply with flight attendant's requests to turn off electronic devices. They became verbally abusive toward the flight attendants and were removed from the plane by airport police." For the love of Spencer Pratt!

No charges were filed against the "Hills" hottie and his pals.

TheseBootsAreMadeForStalking.com reports they eventually hopped an ATA flight to the Windy City, where Brody told partygoers, "I guess I won't be flying American Again!" His powers of deductive reasoning are amazing!

But TMZ caught Brody leaving the Hollywood hotspot last night with two hotties and buddy Frankie Delgado -- but Frankie refused to get in the passenger seat of the car because he didn't like the look of the driver.

Brody took off, leaving his sidekick on the sidewalk. Dude!

Blasting a track from her meagerly-anticipated debut CD from her car outside of Koi, Heidi Montag did a very, very, loose Mariah Carey impression and failed miserably -- as Spencer could only watch in what can only be described as horror. "The Hills" are not alive with the sound of Heidi's soprano!

No word on whether her insistence on wailing at the wedding contributed to the event's cancellation.

El Brodo brought his Jen-tourage, including business partner Jared Najjar, to Mixx nightclub at the Borgata in Atlantic City, and TMZ got him shouting out to us -- and our managing editor, Harvey Levin -- as he entered the club.

Later, we obtained footage of Brody slamming the sticks and showing off his percussive prowess -- with the usual retinue of fetching young women all up in his face.