Baby Watch

It's gotta be a drag when your NFL quarterback BF dumps you after three years and takes up with a Victoria's Secret supermodel ... and then you find you're three months preggers. Now Tom Brady says that knocked-up ex Bridget Moynahan is trying to make him "look like a jerk." That shouldn't be tough!

While Tom and Brazilian bombshell Gisele Bundchen (who used to date Leonardo DiCaprio) were vacationing in Paris, Bridget dropped the bomb that she was in the family way ... an out-of-wedlock event which couldn't have pleased Tom's staunchly Catholic family. Apparently, Bridget was trying to embarrass Gisele and make her look bad. That'd be tough!

Reports say that Gisele has never been happier, despite Tom's lil' pigskin slip, and that the two will probably marry. GB and her QB are headed to Milan so G can appear in the D&G show there.

TMZ contacted a medical professional at celeb-friendly Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, who informed us that long-term effects on a child born to a mother on methadone include slowed growth; meaning Dannielynn could have a lower weight and smaller size than un-methed tots.

Other side effects may include both impaired behavioral development and organizational abilities. Short-term effects the baby might experience in the first year are involuntary muscle spasms, irritability, high pitched crying, diarrhea, disturbed sleep and inconsistent breathing patterns.

If the baby is a little off, it will be difficult to say what is attributable to methadone ... and what part to genetics.

The twins, conceived through an anonymous sperm donor, were born in October. Etheridge has two children with former partner Julie Cypher, who conceived with sperm provided by rock legend David Crosby.

Who's Dannielynn's daddy? Click through the pix for the who's who of contenders.

The portable love kit from kamasutra.com has a tiny feather wand, Spearmint Stimulating Pleasure Balm, and if their guests think that the tribulations of parenthood might be too much, they might want to nix the Love Liquid Sensual Lubricant.

Actual Kama Sutra instructions not included.

Marcia, 44, is expecting twins in April. Tori, 33, will have her first child this spring.

TMZ spotted the two glowing (and growing) actresses trudging through their errands and appointments.

Tori aficionados have been purchasing all kind of gifts; from slippers to picture frames to stuffed animals from Tori's Petit Tresor registry and sending them with notes to the 33-year-old expectant TV heiress. It was reported that Tupperware, not Tori's mother Candy, was hosting her baby shower. One particulary concerned fan/gift-giver/loser wrote, "Dear Tori, I felt so bad for you when I read that Tupperware was giving you your shower and not your mother, so here is a little something for your new bundle of joy!" Nothing substitutes for a mother's love like burp n' seal storage containers.

Strangely enough, we're told that A-list stars like Jennifer Garner, Heidi Klum, Katie Holmes and Britney Spears have also been registered with Petit Tresor, but never had any fans purchase items from their registry. Never underestimate the love of a "90210" fan. *burp*

The ex-Mrs.Pitt dropped over $900 on a baby basket, blue puppy slippers, a musical bear, a blanket and a $410 diaper bag at the hip West Hollywood boutique Petit Tresor. Aniston is a fan of the shop, having previously stopped in to purchase items for Courteney Cox's daughter, Coco.

The shop's owners, Samantha Winch and Nina Takesh, tell TMZ that Jen "has impeccable taste," adding, "We would be honored to design a nursery for Jennifer Aniston's baby -- we're just standing by!" Aren't we all!

Heidi Klum and husband Seal spent a relaxing Saturday at a park in Beverly Hills. The couple was spotted with Klum's 2-year-old daughter Leni, and the couple's 1-year-old son, Henry. The couple's 3-month-old second son, Johan, was nowhere in sight.

Klum and Seal can be seen sitting in the sandbox -- Seal constantly checking his BlackBerry while Heidi digs a hole. Looks like Heidi enjoys going to the park just as much as the kids do!

The blonde star, best known for her role on "Dharma & Greg," and her hubby have been married for an amazing (in Hollywood anyway) 16 years and are said to be elated by the upcoming birth. A source tells TMZ that Jenna looks- and feels- amazing.

It has not been a good year for beauty queens. First, reigning Miss USA Tara Conner got called to The Donald's office and sent to rehab for a few "indiscretions," then Miss Nevada Katie Rees' crown was yanked after steamy photos of her surfaced on TMZ. Now Miss New Jersey Ashley Harder has resigned from her throne -- because she went and got herself knocked up!

The Philadelphia Daily News reports that the 20-year-old Harder has voluntarily stepped down, because it's against pageant rules to compete while pregnant. Not to mention how much tougher it is in heels. Harder, who was crowned in October, told the newspaper she's expecting her child in "late summer" and plans to marry her live-in boyfriend. As for Trump, a rep tells TMZ that he wishes the now former Miss New Jersey well.

The prominently pregnant Pressly was spotted by the folks at spyonvegas.com at Las Vegas nightclub Tangerine, but don't worry, she's no Britney in the making -- she was there to support her soon-to-be hubby, DJ Eric Cubiche.

TMZ was told that the "My Name is Earl" star dined on Kobe burgers and fish at Social House before heading to the club, where she drank water all evening. Take notes Lindsay.

Tobey Maguire and jeweler fiancee Jennifer Meyer with their beautiful bundle of joy, Ruby Sweetheart.

Ruby was welcomed into the world on November 10, and only two short months later, Spidey's offspring has already learned to pose for paparazzi!

Since her maternal grandfather is Ron Meyer, President of Universal Studios, it's no surprise that this kid came out camera-ready.

Brooke's proud baby daddy, "Baywatch" hunk David Charvet, followed his two favorite gals to their ride, and quickly whisked them away.

According to Brooke's publicist, both mother and daughter are "doing great and resting at home."

While moms-to-be are usually glowing, Tori has a sullen look not seen since Donna Martin was threatened with not graduating!

In an outfit reminiscent of 1991, the poppingly preggers pouty-faced TV heiress walked the streets of West Hollywood on Monday, sporting suspenders, nerd specs, and a shirt that said "WHATEVER." Indeed!

Apparently, Tori's "90210" wardrobe is one of the few things she didn't sell in her highly publicized yard sale.