Beauty

Looking like "Fan 4's" The Thing, Dr. Dre appeared in all his massive rock-hard glory. Sippin' on gin and juice? No longer keeping his muscled bod on the down low, Timbaland brought sexyback by accentuating his jewels with a slimming little black tank! While Maroon 5's formerly scrawny lead singer/gigolo rocked his buff shoulders and biceps in a regulation hipster vest. It's getting harder to breathe!

The chronologically 26-year-old turned up at the VMAs on Sunday -- in this shellacked, short blond, cover-my-gray 'do -- looking like a Sunshine State news anchor meets Ivana Trump! That's not hot!

Paris has gone from flashing her goods -- to flashing her AARP card!

David Arquette's male-to-female transgendered sister arrived to Mr. Chow in a lacy, see through number. Sheer terror!

Ms. Arquette and her, er, girls help separate the former men from the boys!

While in NYC on Thursday, the 52-year-old life-sized Muppet bore an uncanny resemblance to the Simian society's blond Minister of Science, as played by Maurice Evans. You damned dirty ape!

Donatella really is an orange-u-tan!

TMZ obtained a photo of Mendes from her simpler days in Glendale, Calif. While Eva thankfully ditched Madge's lace gloves, the white-hot 33-year-old stunner has only gotten better with age! TreMendes!

The 40-year-old mother of two partied on the beach on Sunday looking a tad weather-beaten. Swim at your own risk!

Erosion is a big problem in Malibu!

The Namibian Gerber baby was seen in the arms of her mother, enjoying the Central Park Zoo, and keeping a watchful eye on the paparazzi. The most exquisite of all celebuspawn looks vaguely familiar.

Although beauty queens can be very catty, it was a cold-hearted snake that almost ended one wannabe Mrs. America's career!

Mrs. Tennessee, Christina Ryan, was leaving an Arizona hotel on Sunday, when a coiled rattlesnake bit the 28-year-old's foot. Fortunately, nurse Mrs. Iowa, was nearby and extracted the snake's fang from Tennessee's flesh. Miss Congeniality!

Ryan said the bite "hurt more than childbirth." Breathe, girl! After being rushed to a local hospital, doctors pumped ten vials of anti-venom medication into Ryan. Mrs. Tennessee has since returned to the competition. Can't wait to see what this pageant hopeful has to say!

For the first time, Lucy's natural beauty (seen here in a sculptor's rendering) can be viewed in the states. "Lucy's Legacy: The Hidden Treasures of Ethiopia" runs from Aug. 31 - April 20 at the Houston Museum of Natural Science.

While gorgeously sculpted Priscilla Presley is a well-preserved 62-years-old, the bony remains of Lucy clock in at 3.2 million! Love me tender!

We're just sayin'!

Shirley was snapped looking ravishing at a Project Angel Food awards banquet on Saturday. Helen died at age 90 in 2000.

But the truly incredible thing is how Clarice goes from looking like she does in this picture from three years ago (left), to looking superlatively flawless today.

You can never be too thin or too rich -- unless you're Kate Moss.

The waifish wayfarer, who made strung-out too-thin heroin chic oh-so-cool in the mid '90s, isn't looking so hot ten years on, say sources. Friends, reports the Daily Mail, are concerned that Kate's gone out of control after the latest round of battles with on-again off-again trainwreck boy toy Pete Doherty, and she's more gaunt and sallow than usual.

Kate, say friends, has lost almost ten pounds in the last three weeks -- and is barely eating. Imagine -- a model not eating!