Hot Bodies

Kim KardASSian is set to appear in Playboy, but she's keeping her clothes on. Damn!

TMZ has learned that the photoshoot, first reported by PerezHilton, was done by famed music video director Hype Williams -- but will not feature Kim's best ASSet in the nude. Oh, tosh, Tush! Kim's pages will feature a sanitized celebrity pictorial -- much like when Mariah Carey did the mag.

What about the top half, you ask? A source close to the shoot tells us that there's none of that either. If you want to see the goods, stick with the video.

Justin Timberlake celebrated the opening of his new Manhattan restaurant with young Hollywood pals like Lance Bass, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Seth Green and ... Rev. Al Sharpton?! Robo say what?!

With no entertainment websites to falsely accuse of racism, the good Reverend got his BBQ on at JT's Southern Hospitality on the Upper East Side. Saucy!

Nice to see Al enjoying the Memphis-style hoedown!

Beach babe Paris Hilton was spotted looking like a centerfold on Wednesday in L.A., wearing a classy short black mini -- and not much else! She might not have junk in her trunk like pal Kim KardASSian, but the heiress surely has some sexy legs ... and some giant shoes!

Surrounded by a gaggle of not-really-that-shocked-anymore photographers, Britney Spears stripped down to her bra and underwear in Malibu yesterday and sprinted into the ocean -- exposing both of her hairlines.

Pop star Lily Allen used her recent appearance on the British version of "Saturday Night Live" to reveal to the world that she's blessed -- with a third nipple. Does that make you randy?

Lily was part of a sketch when someone just happened to mention a third nipple. Allen mentioned that she herself had a third nipple and decided to show it to cameras. She cupped her left breast, lifted it up out of her dress and proceeded to show off said nipple.

The sexagenarian orthopedic wonder turned up on the red carpet barely dressed in a pair of sheer pants! Peek-a-BOO!

Liza has survived polyps on her vocal cords, double pneumonia, two hip replacements, three knee surgeries, viral encephalitis and David Gest.

Her arm strength was good, but she could definitely use a little help around mid-field.

Check out the highlights. Da na na, da na na.

Sean claimed that he whipped up some pot brownies to welcome the pap star Brits -- and nothing says "Welcome to L.A." like some suspicious cake from a rocker's wackadoodle son.

She took time to adjust her bikini while facing cameras -- no backside shots here! Then, when it came time to leave the water, she had a friend bring her a towel so she could wrap herself up -- while still in the water. (Note: it was a huuuuuuge towel.) Finally, as Kim sat herself back down on her beach chair, photogs caught a brief glimpse of the Ass Seen 'Round the World. Mission accomplished!

TMZ spoke with Kim this morning and she gave us a simple explanation: "You'd cover your big ass too if everyone was taking pictures." Assk a stupid question ...

Celebuspawn star Kate Hudson and a shirtless (and apparently underwearless) Dax Shepard were spotted hand-in-hand leaving Nobu restaurant in Malibu on Saturday night. Dax bared his bod so Kate could use his shirt to block her face from the paparazzi. There's a real gent!

The Timberex was spotted surfing with a male bud in Malibu on Saturday, looking extra sexy in a tiny tie-on two-piece that somehow managed to keep all her assets intact. Darn.

The angel broke her nose riding waves in Hawaii back in 2003, the only thing she's breakin' now -- hearts!

Former Miss USA Tara Conner's stint in rehab has left a permanent mark on the nearly dethroned beauty -- literally!

TMZ spies spotted the 21-year-old ex party girl Sunday brunching with five male pals at Quality on L.A.'s trendy West Third Street -- sporting an AA-inspired tat on each wrist. Guess rehab wasn't just a Trump PR stunt! Tara had the words "Let Go" inscribed on her left wrist and "Let God" on the right. Both terms are oft-recited mantras in 12-step recovery programs.

TMZ congratulates Tara for overcoming her demons -- partying and Donald Trump!

In a photo obtained by TMZ, Mo'Nique is sitting around the house (and we do mean around the house) with 5 other big gurls wearing nothing but body paint. Daaaaaaayum! Holy Earl Scheib! Everyone loves the painted-on tuxedo, but these jumbo beauties are done up in everything from tiger stripes to painted-on collared shirts. What? Go big gurls! Please!

The 3XL ladies will endure a boot camp (not booty camp!) leading to a runway show attended by the haute monde of Paris -- including designers, models and the press -- with the winner crowned "Miss F.A.T."

"Mo'Nique's F.A.T. Chance" debuts on Oxygen, July 21 at 10:30 PM. Check your local listings.

The 19-year-old "High School Musical" heartthrob worked up a sweat as he pumped up his boyishly taut and smooth chest at 24 Hour Fitness in L.A. by attempting to press over 100 lbs. on Thursday. No ID needed for this six-pack.

Between the gym and all that "Hairspray," this spring chicken has his beauty routine down pat!

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Paulina Rubio shook her golden booty in Madrid last night for her "Amor, Luz y Sonido" tour. ¡Ay caramba!