Paparazzi Video

In what appeared to be a power walk -- replete with giant coffee and cigarette -- Jason didn't seem to be going anywhere in particular. When asked if he was attending a promotional event being held down the street at Kitson for "Hairspray," he said, "Um, no way."

She took time to adjust her bikini while facing cameras -- no backside shots here! Then, when it came time to leave the water, she had a friend bring her a towel so she could wrap herself up -- while still in the water. (Note: it was a huuuuuuge towel.) Finally, as Kim sat herself back down on her beach chair, photogs caught a brief glimpse of the Ass Seen 'Round the World. Mission accomplished!

TMZ spoke with Kim this morning and she gave us a simple explanation: "You'd cover your big ass too if everyone was taking pictures." Assk a stupid question ...

The desperate housewife and baller's star-studded French wedding and exclusive Caribbean honeymoon were covered in enough magazines to leave every tree in our national park system destroyed. We'll just waste environmentally friendly digital space to show you the longoriest couple's arrival at LAX on Saturday. (your yawn here)

Mr. and Mrs Parker packed light, and clearly didn't do much shopping while honeymooning -- no surprise there!

Britney got much love from some of her fans during her pap walk, who screamed out to the tumblin' trainwreck that they loved her. Others, though, not so much: one passerby told Brit to get home to her baby.

Uncle Jesse turned "ER" doc Stamos was spotted playing guitar with the aged surf rockers in Miami on Tuesday, bringing some much needed sex appeal to the gerontological beach bums. Stamos is no stranger to the group though, he's often been spotted jamming with the guys on a few of their tours.

While he looked great this time, a Jesse and the Rippers performance would be better than this anyday!

The Oscarless greenie was seen on his two-wheeler in New York City's West Village, sporting a tragic fannypack, hideous cargo manpris, and his omnipresent cap and dark glasses. DiCaprio rode, nearly unrecognized, over to the Pink Tea Cup for some Southern eats.

Leo's green docu, "The 11th Hour," will be released next month -- clean up the environment, people! Stop wearing manpris!

Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis, the oily moneybag and brother of Gummi, made a sweaty appearance before cameras last night, drowning rumors that he died in Miami last night. Firequash!

The hyperhidrotic heir bear claimed that this "shows how the press is pretty much wrong about everything." Somehow, a PR firm heard a rumor that Greasy had died, and by the time the questions started being asked in Miami, the Greasy one was said to have croaked.

When the cameraman asked Greasy to confirm that he was, in fact, still alive -- the bear, absolutely devoid of irony, replied, "Yes." Although he didn't seem too sure.

The hunky father of four is a stickler for safety, and wore a helmet even when he went inside the gas station.

Always wear protection!

The camera-shy rap mogul deflected photographers by using girlfriend Beyonce as a decoy outside Manhattan nightspot Home on Tuesday. Jigga what?!

When a paparazzi crush descended on his Maybach outside Kelly Rowland's LIFEbeat/record release party, Jay had B exit the car causing the typical flashbulb frenzy. While paps were hypnotized by the gorge that is Beyonce, Z was able to slip in through a back door. Easy does it.

And with her BET Awards skimpy robo gear nowhere to be found, Ms. Knowles showed up to the event sporting a simple sexy t-shirt that promoted her former fellow Destiny's Child member's new album, "Ms. Kelly." Irreplaceable!

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Following Bai Ling's peep show, Lil' Kim, who turns 33 today, got into the boob-baring biz by exposing her right titty outside the trendy Hollywood lounge. Happy breast day! The wardrobe malfunction occurred as the ghetto fab ex-con maneuvered her way into a ride driven by R&B gigolo, Ray-J. Baby got front!

Grenier got wet with a couple of bitches in the surf, then frolicked along the shore a precocious kid and well-bodied blonde. Though Grenier's shirtless chest looked pretty good, it's clear he's no Mark Wahlberg, the muscled former Funky Buncher on whom Adrian's "Entourage" character Vincent Chase is loosely based.

"Entourage" is still shooting ... so maybe he's just chubbing up for some Pablo Escobar re-shoots.

The paps spotted Mr. Jenner leaving Les Deux this weekend and tried to get the scoop, but Brody just laughed it off. "No," Brody said when he got the Hilary question. "We're just friends."

Marky's been on a roll -- from his Oscar nom for "The Departed" to "Shooter" topping the rental charts -- and he's got three pix coming up.

The svelte heiress got into her car on Tuesday, wearing a lovely cream colored ensemble, pearl bracelet and massively hideous gold purse -- which had apparently swallowed her keys. Sometimes, the fates help you.

With paps staked outside of Cox's Malibu compound, the "Eight Legged Freaks" thesp, with some help from the hired help, turned a patio umbrella on its side for some privacy. No dirt, please!

Poor David. If only people were as interested in him as much as the paps are interested -- in his wife and daughter!