Take our word for it, you did not have as eventful of a week as Jeremy London.
London's wild seven-day stretch began a week ago Friday, when he finalized his divorce from wife Melissa Cunningham.
London was arrested in 2012 for alleged domestic violence ... he agreed to take anger management classes and in return the charges were dismissed.
Fast forward to Tuesday, when London married his girlfriend, Juliet Reeves. That would have been the highlight of his week ... if she didn't give birth to their son Wyatt just two days later.
6/2/2014 6:46 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Serena Williams is the only -- repeat ONLY -- woman alive who could pull off crashing a beach wedding while wearing a leopard print one-piece swimsuit.
Williams was in Miami this weekend when she stumbled upon a beach wedding ... and jumped right in. She posed for a few pics with the bride and groom ... all while yelling out "Wedding crasher!"
Clearly Williams is already over getting bounced in the second round of the French Open.
Kim & Kanye
5/30/2014 11:45 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Make no mistake about it ... Kanye West is full out MAN DOWN!!!
After hitting up Paris, Florence and Ireland, the Kim Kardashian and Kanye wedding/honeymoon extravaganza landed in Prague ... where the newlyweds stepped out in matching black leather.
Kanye sported a fairly massive wedding band as the couple made their way to dinner ... making it clear to anyone and everyone ... he's taken.
But make no mistake ... Kim's is bigger.
Lana Del Rey
I Didn't Get a Dime
to Sing at Kimye's Wedding
5/28/2014 10:57 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Lana Del Rey shot down the ridiculous rumor she scored an insane pay day for singing at Kim Kardashian's wedding to Kanye West ... telling TMZ she did it for nothing.
One report had Lana's fee at a whopping $2.8 million ... but this afternoon at LAX, a very friendly Del Rey told our photog she didn't receive a dime.
Lana also explains WHY she performed gratis, and the good news is -- there's a slim chance she could do the same for you.
Kim & Kanye
1ST KISS ...
5/27/2014 8:05 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
When in France (or Italy) ... don't French Kiss ... at least, not for your first smooch as man and wife.
Kim just posted a couple of pics from the big event -- including a shot from the moment Kanye was told, "You may kiss the bride" ... and it was closed mouths all the way.
Mrs. West also posted a pic of the happy couple walking down the aisle after tying the knot -- with baby North looking on.
Not Pictured: Rob Kardashian.
Fabulous Nose Pickers Welcome
5/25/2014 9:02 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Only one guest at Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's wedding truly touched the couple -- with a booger finger -- and still got the nod.
We were shocked to see this pic of ex-Vogue honcho Andre Leon Talley (sweet cape) leaving Florence with all of Kimye's other wedding guests Sunday morning ... considering his nose pick faux pas with K & K at the Met Gala a few weeks ago.
Ya can't say Kim holds a grudge -- and we ain't sayin' Andre's a golddigger, but ...
Kardashian Wedding Menu
For 'Most Remarkable People
Of Our Time'
5/25/2014 7:35 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kanye West paid tribute to his new family by calling them "the most remarkable people of our time." He's clearly delusional, but we'll give them this ... the Kardashian's know how to plan a menu.
So here's the grub for the Florence reception:
Homemade mezzelune pasta stuffed with ricotta cheese, thyme and marjoram, with parmigiano zabaglione and golden curls.
Mezzelune de pasta fresca al timo e maggiorana con ricotta fresca allo zabajone de parmigiano e riccioli de foglia d'oro
PIATTO DI MEZZO
Monkfish fillet in crust of aromatic herbs on a bed of pureed celeriac millefeuille of tropea, sweet onions and vitelotte potatoes.
Filetto di rana pescatrice in crosta de erbette aromatici(sp?) su purea di sedano rapa milleoglie di cipolle di rosse di tropea e patate vitelotte.
Beef fillet with brunello di montalgimo sauce, potato tarte seasoned with truffle green beans.
Cuore di filetto di manzo al brunello dimontalcimo, tortino de patate dolci at tartufo, covoncino di fagiolini al vapore.
Homemade strawberry sorbet
Sorbetto artiginale alla fragola
Can we just go back to "the most remarkable people of our time." ??? Just incredible ... unbelievable.
Kim & Kanye
TMZ WEDDING CRASH
5/23/2014 10:50 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Fasten your seat belts bitches -- TMZ is taking you inside Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's blowout European wedding extravaganza this weekend ... so keep refreshing this post for the latest information.
YOU DON'T WANNA MISS IT!!!!!!!!
3:33 PM PT -- TMZ has obtained photos from INSIDE Kim and Kanye's wedding dinner inside Versailles. Lana Del Rey just performed.
1:25 PM PT -- Photos have just surfaced showing what appears to be Lana Del Rey rehearsing in a hallway at Versailles.
1:00 PM PT -- Don't count on seeing any aerial photos of Kimye's Versailles wedding activities ... TMZ has learned, the sky over the palace is a NO-FLY ZONE today. It's unclear if the no-fly zone order was issued specifically because of the Kimye nuptials, but with paparazzi helicopters circling, that would definitely make sense.
11:20 AM PT -- Kim and Kanye just arrived to Versailles ... and apparently they both forgot to wear shirts. Bruce Jenner has arrived as well, wearing sunglasses and a dapper suit. Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian have also arrived.
9:35 AM PT -- DOUBLE WEDDING MYSTERY ... where the hell are Kim and Kanye actually exchanging vows? They have two separate wedding venues set up, one in Versailles and one in Florence.
9:10 AM PT -- Kim and Kanye join Valentino for pre-wedding lunch at his castle, Château de Wideville. The whole fam was there.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
We're Officially Married
5/24/2014 10:14 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
It is officially too late to speak now ... 'cause Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are finally husband and wife.
Mr. and Mrs. Kanye West tied the knot Saturday at Fort di Belvedere in Florence, Italy surrounded by family and friends ... and according to on-lookers, Kanye was pretty nervous before the ceremony.
We're told Andrea Bocelli sang as Kim was walked down the aisle by Bruce Jenner.
Our sources say all guests were also required to sign a confidentiality agreement.
Based on pics of the wedding site ... it looks like the reception will be held at the Fort -- but the way things have been going, who knows?!
Kanye and Kim started dating in 2012 and the following year Yeezus proposed after an elaborate ceremony inside San Francisco's AT&T Park.
This is Kanye's first marriage -- and Kim's third.
Kim and Kanye
We Partied in Paris
Now Let's Get Hitched
5/24/2014 6:29 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have shipped their guests from Paris to Florence for their Saturday night Wedding.
After Friday night's over-the-top wedding dinner at the Palace of Versailles outside Paris ... everyone got a few hours sleep and then it was on to Italy.
Kanye, Bruce, Scott Disick and other family members took private jets. The pics (above) show the groom's party jet. The chicks have a separate plane.
Regular guests -- like Kim's longtime friend Simon Huck -- jumped on board what looks like a charter 737 ... and legendary record producer Rick Rubin was on the flight.
The wedding is set at Fort Belvedere -- a 400-year-old landmark in Florence. We're told there's another big bash Sunday.
Famous Friends Flock to Florence
5/24/2014 9:04 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Florence is starting to look a lot like Calabasas ... 'cause all of Kimye's famous friends have touched down in Italy for the wedding that's taking WAY TOO LONG to finally start.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's wedding guests made their way out of an airport in Florence Saturday ... including Jonathan Cheban, Tyga and Jaden Smith.
As we previously reported ... the bride and groom took separate private planes to Italy with their respective parties -- while other guests hopped aboard what looks like a charter 737.
Welcome to the good life.
Kimye Wedding Dinner
No Jay Z & Beyonce
But the Caviar Was to Die For!!!
5/24/2014 1:00 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's big wedding dinner at Versailles had two big holes in it -- Beyonce and Jay Z -- but we're told everything else went off without a hitch ... including fancy French food, Lana Del Rey songs, and even DAVID BLAINE.
Sources inside the party tell TMZ, everyone was talking about how Bey and Jay failed to show ... but they could still make the wedding ceremony tomorrow in Florence.
Other than that, we're told the wedding dinner was magical -- starting with the food ... one source tells us, "It was all French stuff. Pretty much everything was truffled." But the best part ... we're told the jars of caviar with blini were other-worldly.
We're told the party was cocktail style ... lots of mingling ... and of course, there was a roving magician ... but not just any roving magician ... Kimye hired David Blaine.
And if that wasn't awesome enough ... we're told Lana Del Rey actually performed THREE songs.
Just incredible. And it's only Day One.
Kim & Kanye
Double Wedding Mystery
5/23/2014 9:35 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
This is some "Da Vinci Code" level trickery -- Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have set up TWO separate wedding venues (one at Versailles and one in Florence) and all signs are pointing to TWO DIFFERENT CEREMONIES ... one tonight and one tomorrow.
The photos speak for themselves -- a full wedding set-up is currently in place at Versailles (note the flowers, lighting, and the "closed" sign) and another is ready to go at a 16th century fort in Florence (piano, aisle, seating arrangement).
It's possible one location is a decoy to throw off the media, but here's what we know: trusted sources extremely close to Kim initially told us the "I do's" would be exchanged tonight at Versailles ... but who really knows what Kanye's planning.
The wedding rules at Versailles are strict, so that would explain why Kanye would arrange for a reception in Florence ... to party it up ... but it doesn't explain why there's also an aisle set-up in Florence (aisle = vows).
Our sources also tell us, Kim has a separate wedding gown for Florence, but it's unclear if that's just a run-of-the-mill Kim K wardrobe change ... or if she plans to exchange "I do's" in Florence instead.
Or maybe she's getting married twice.
Yeah, our heads hurt too.