American Idol

After Chris Bernheisel failed to make the cut during auditions, Simon Cowell promised him a stint working the finale's red carpet for his local affiliate -- but the station ain't having it. According to Chris, FOX 42 in Nebraska just wants to interview Chris sitting up in the bleachers -- no red carpet, no celeb interviews, no "who are you wearing?!" -- and that's got Bernheisel flaming mad.

TMZ has obtained deranged emails Chris sent to "Idol" making a laundry list of diva demands including: seven tix to the final show, adding "I want to stand the whole time in the pit right in front of the stage!! Right in front of the judges." He also wants seven V.I.P passes to the after parties.

Chris ends his demand letter with this ominous gem: "I went through hell my whole life of being bullied in junior high and high school. I don't have to take it anymore."

While Chris says "I'm not trying to be difficult by any means," he adds, "If I am not contacted within two weeks from when I sent you this email ... I will get my lawyer to contact you." "Idol" should be scared because Chris adds, "my father told me this can be a huge lawsuit."

When TMZ spoke to Chris on Tuesday, he broke down telling his sob story and reiterated he would seek vengeance on "Idol" and FOX 42. Hell hath no fury like a loser scorned.

Keep the wet-naps ready -- it'll be hard to sympathy clap for Chris Sligh with hot sauce on your hands.

Sligh, the Muppet-haired "Idol" wannabeen from Season 6, will be giving mouthwatering performances Thursday through Sunday at ... wait for it ... three different Wild Wing Cafes in South Carolina!

Does that count as a tour?

Instead, Paula showed up on "On-Air with Ryan Seacrest" this morning and explained how it all went down.

So there's a story floating around that "Idol" honchos are thinking of 86'ing Ryan Seacrest because ratings are down.

In case you don't know, we have spies! We're told producers are privately laughing at the stories because the ratings are still through the roof and "Idol" pulls in a s**tload of money. And so does Ryan Seacrest, who ain't going nowhere.

A 17-year-old "Idol" lover is ticked off because a sticker they made her wear at an April 22 show-taping ruined her sequin dress. Maybe Ryan can loan her one!

When the fan realized Andrew Lloyd Webber was in the studio, she tried taking the sticker off so he could sign it, but the glue from the sticker wouldn't come off like a prom dress.

The girl doesn't want to sue "Idol" -- she just wants her soiled dress (which was a gift for her sweet 16) fixed. She's tried emailing "Idol" but only got an automated response. We tried calling for her (cause we're nice like that) but we haven't heard back. Where's a TMZ mole when you need 'em?!

TMZ's Harvey Levin confronted Ryan on his radio show yesterday, asking why, why why? Ryan said, "Cause I think when I started on that show, I wasn't quite sure what you were supposed to look like on TV. And I thought, 'Well you got to do things to make yourself stand out on TV. "

"American Idol" message boards are buzzing that tonight's "Idol" castoff will be Jason Castro -- and it's allegedly Ryan Seacrest who leaked it!

An email exchange posted on an "Idol" fan site points the finger at Ryan -- saying he blabbed that it's Castro that's getting the boot.

Only problem ... Ryan doesn't even know yet himself!

While Ryan has said in the past that he finds out who gets sent packing the morning of the show, we're told the only two people who know the big name at this point in the day are the two executive producers -- Nigel Lythgoe and Cecile Frot-Coutaz.

Will Smith's wife, aka Jada Pinkett Smith, showed up to an event on Tuesday in a lovely mullet haircut -- that made her look like Danny's long lost brother.

Save her, Tom Cruise!

It's amazing what a little makeup and not allegedly choking on a ham sandwich* will do for a gal.

We're just sayin'!

* Um, yeah. We know Cass didn't really die from the ham sandwich, people!

The "singer" told his school paper he is finishing up his undergrad degree at Cal State Northridge with the hopes of teaching afterwards.

We think he'll do great in the math world ... we're just sayin'.

Nothing like fibbing for a little sympathy to get a few extra, much needed votes, right?

Bitter: n. 1) One who complains about the length of time spent with a singing coach on a show one was kicked off of more than 5 years ago. 2) Carmen Rasmusen.

Despite the clear definition of the word, the "American Idol" wannabeen went on the attack today, claiming a recent article wrote for her local paper bashing "American Idol" was not penned out of bitterness, just insightfulness. Rrrright.

According to Rasmusen, "The only point I was trying to make was that some contestants get more attention than others."

Apparently, she missed the part where she bitched at length about getting beat out by a guy who spent more time with a vocal coach.

No. She's not bitter at all. She's just a crybaby.

He mentioned he's already in the recording studio ... but it's more fun trying to keep track of how many hair flips he does by the end of the video.