Heidi & Spencer

Yep, it's Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding day -- or as they say over at MTV -- a really big episode of "The Hills."

The ceremony is set to begin at 5pm on the West Coast, if all goes as scripted, but there's already plenty of action outside the Pasadena, Calif church.

We don't want to give away everything, but there will be a "scene" with Spencer tossing a bouquet.

By the way, one off-duty Pasadena cop who's working security in the neighborhood said this about the happy couple: "I have no idea who this is, but I know my daughter will be freaking out when I tell her."

We got our hands on a flyer sent around the Pasadena neighborhood where they will be tying the knot. The flyer asks residents to sign a petition, allowing the Heidi and Spencer crew to shut down some of the streets and sidewalks for "an untitled reality TV project" -- otherwise called the wedding. BTW -- the person who is listed as the line producer produces "The Hills." Why so misleading, Speidi?

Now here's the best part: They want No Parking signs on a strategic street "to discourage paparazzi from parking and hiding out in their cars" -- they say for safety reasons. Excuse us, but isn't this the couple that courts hordes of paparazzi to follow them on every street in Hollywood? Could it be they want to restrict paparazzi because it's more lucrative for them if the pappers don't get the shot? We are such cynics.

And the final sweet touch -- in making the request to the neighbors, they say they will be filming "interior and exterior dialogue" at the church. For normal people, those are called wedding vows.

We've learned that's exactly what they did. It's under seal, but it's real. And they're getting hitched a week from Saturday.

All invited guests will receive 10 copies of Heidi's latest single ... this part we're guessing, but it's a safe bet.

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On his way out of the Star Magazine Young Hollywood party last night, Spencer ripped on LGG's music, claiming he had to "save my ears from Lady Gaga" -- but judging by who he went home with ... he's heard worse.

The story behind the beef is this: Gaga wrote a song called "Fashion" that both she and Heidi recorded. Guess whose version people preferred ...

Turns out Heidi isn't the bitch in the "relationship" after all.

Along with images of iconic celebs like George Clooney and Brad Pitt, the walls of Wolfgang Puck's Beverly Hills restaurant CUT feature the image of President Barack Obama and -- believe it or not -- everyone's favorite douchebag couple Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. For the record, the Speidi pics are the closest to Barack's pic.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt want us to believe they really are married – but no one is ever going to see their marriage license. Because that's just how discreet they are.

The legality of the Speidi nuptials are being questioned because a judge that supposedly married them at L.A. Superior Court doesn't actually sit on the bench there and civil marriages aren't done in courtrooms anyway. Spence tells Us they "checked the confidentiality box" so no proof of marriage license.

Over 100 shots that will make you vomit in your mouth -- but resistance is futile.