Paparazzi Video

Her omnipresent hunky bodyguard also followed suit, revealing that he takes his job very seriously, and carries a big stick.

Miss Dickinson's carcass was then carried through the street on a hunk's shoulders ... becoming just another man between her legs.

The frustrated and limping star of the "Scream" flicks went off on a photog after walking up the stairs of Taverna Tony's, where he set down his baby's carrier, turned around and pushed the pap while screaming, "You f**king disgust me, it's a f**king child and I have one f**king foot!" It didn't end there though -- Schreiber then chased the rest of the photogs on scene, screaming at them and making them retreat to their cars.

When Schreiber and baby mama Naomi Watts emerged from the restaurant, they were taunted by paps, with one yelling at the actor, "You better sit down before I knock your ass out!" This time, Liev remained calm and got into the car, but Naomi gave the photog a piece of her mind -- with a finger.

It was pure Hiltonian pandemonium at the Sunset Blvd. breakfast joint, as Hilton and her entire entourage came in to grab some grub after a night of partying at Opera. The heiress, who told Larry King she was "frankly sick" of the club scene (mm-hmm), grabbed a booth with her sister Nicky, Nic's boyfriend David Katzenberg and Beacher's Madhouse founder Jeff Beacher as other customers and staff screamed and squealed to get the ex-con's attention.

Is there nothing they won't watch Paris do, eat, smell, read, or hold?

But, last night, outside Justin Timberlake's gig at Madison Square Garden, the 62-year-old Blondie queen demonstrated to TMZ's cameras outright creep-itude, as she appears to have transmogrified into her 14-year-old self, complete with a remarkably androgynous sidekick.

Ok, not really, but cameras spotted the unusual pair outside of the Ivy last night -- complete with Hayden's dad and bro, too. Photogs jokingly asked Mario about their "first date" and Mario played it off, saying, "My first date with Lesley and her son and her husband?" Well, stranger things ...

Hayden was nowhere in sight, but the paps asked Mario if he had any birthday wishes for her, reminding her she's two weeks away from being legal (it's four days, 13 hours and 40 minutes, but who's counting?). He just laughed and said, "You guys are too funny."

In a related note, Mario will be hosting the Miss Teen USA pageant on August 24. Hayden is not competing.

COUNTDOWN TO HAYDEN'S 18TH BIRTHDAY:

In the footage shot by a photog further away from the action, you can clearly see the 6'8" "Everybody Loves Raymond" star reach down and sucker-slap the camera in front of a crowd of paparazzi, knocking the equipment back into the photog's face. Keep your eye on the light attached to the top of the camera -- Brad knocks it clear out of the frame.

A rep for Garrett had no comment.

For her latest foray into the outside world, the tragicomical mother of two got decked out in a stunning oversized pale yellow men's oxford, an exquisite pair of pocket-revealing Daisy Duke short-shorts, and her signature chic newsboy cap with matching Weave Guard®. Real purrty!

Too bad there aren't enough bad wigs in the world to disguise Brit's pain!

The legal alien trio strolled through the zoo, attempting to appear as oblivious as possible to paps with that Frozen Thetan Grin©. No word if any sudden moves were made.

The group is in Germany while the third Mrs.Cruise's husband films that Hitler movie. Macht nichts!

The popwreck shambled up to the fast food restaurant's drive-thru after filming her music video last Tuesday night, looking pretty good -- for her -- with a full face of make-up. There's no denying her love of greasy food, but girl definitely loves herself some Fanta too -- yelling at the speaker with a truly horrendous Spanish accent, trying to emphasize how crucial the fruity soda was to her. (Fanta is, of course, a product of the good ol' US of A. And did we mention she was in L.A.? )

Spears even had her own bodyguard walk through the drive-thru next to her car to both keep the paps away and hand over her food when it was ready. She then sped off into the night, Fanta-fixed and everything.

Cameras spied the "I Still Know What You Did Last Winter Summer" star heading into Les Deux in Hollywood last night, drawing some extra attention with herself by covering her head with a bright green scarf.

Brandy's been spotted out on the club scene more often lately, opting to ride shotgun each time.

The 81-year-old childlike zombie bachelor trailed behind, as his bevy of buxom bottle blondes (and two brunettes!) exited the eatery. For insurance purposes, shouldn't he be in a wheelchair?

Hef's 22-year-old "Girls Next Door" love Bunny, Kendra Wilkinson, can be heard commanding her concubine king to "Say hi to TMZ." It's unclear if Hef actually heard her.

While the housebound Zsa Zsa Gabor, 90, rests in her disputed Bel Air mansion, her buy-a-title Prince trolls the local shops after his exercise. TMZ cameras asked if he was getting in shape to be able to fend off any future "attackers," and gold chain enhanced royal pain said, "Ziss vass not fun, ziss vass not a fun sing."

Von Ahole is involved in a continuing monetary dispute with Zsa Zsa's daughter, Francesca Hilton, who is Paris Hilton's aunt.

Repeat: "Ziss vass not fun, ziss vass not a fun sing."

Mrs. Cruise was spotted arriving at LAX with a mini entourage this morning, with Suri nowhere to be seen. Katie visited Germany with the Scientolotot to see hubby Tom -- and apparently left Suri behind to hang around with daddy.

What great lessons she'll learn on the set of that Hitler movie.

Sporting an animal print bathing suit and a Nicole Richie replacement (pregnant peeps can't party, right?), Hilton perused the shelves before heading to a parking lot packed with an army of Paris loving children.

Hilton paid her debt to society by posing for pictures and signing autographs for the kiddos. Who knew ex-cons had so many underage fans?!

As the Britster was pulling into a Studio City vitamin store on Monday, she banged her Mercedes into a parked station wagon in a botched attempt at parking. After scraping up her wheels in the crash, Brit screamed, "I'm a brainiac!" Well, there's no denying it now!

Not once seen checking out the other vehicle, a micro-dressed Brit popped a ladylike squat in front of her Mercedes to inspect the damage, giving a few photogs another view of her hoo-hoo-dilly. Will she never learn?

Brit then walked right past the scraped up wagon next to her, and left without leaving a note for the owner.

UPDATE: TMZ has confirmed that Miss Spears has not contacted the owner of the station wagon. Damage to the other car was minor. TMZ spoke to the owner of the vehicle, who said that she hopes the former Mrs. Federline will do the right thing.