Khloe K. Sees a Stiff She Can Get Into

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Our spies say Khloe Kardashian will visit a morgue today ... not for her show and not for makeup tips. It's one of the strings attached to that whole DUI thing, and a dead celeb will be there to get the point across.

Brad Stewart -- former bassist for Marilyn Manson -- died last Thursday of an apparent drug overdose, and his body is lying at the morgue Khloe will visit.

We're told Khloe took a red-eye from NYC to L.A. to make her 8:30 AM appointment. The coroner's office tells us there are 20-30 bodies there -- and Brad's will be one of them.

Kim K My Ass Can't Take All the Credit

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Reggie Bush has been killing it for the Saints but Kimmy says it's because of his hard work -- and not her hard body in the stands.

Newsflash Kim -- real sports fans will take superstition over rational, logical thinking any day. Ya dig!?

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Kim's K's Ass -- Worshipped by Saints

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There's a reason NFL star Reggie Bush has been tearing it up in the field lately and it all has to do with where Kim Kardashian decides to park her incredibly important derriere.

In the three New Orleans Saints games Kim has attended this year (including yesterday's game against the Raiders), her man tied an NFL punt return record, set his season high receiving mark and scored 5 of his 8 TDs. Take that Jessica Simpson!! (**cough, cough, jinx, cough**)

And get this -- right after Reggie racked up another 2-TD game yesterday, Saints coach Sean Payton gave Kim a big hug. He did the same thing last week when Bush broke off two electrifying punt returns on Monday Night Football.

Saints Nation has caught on too -- we hear the fans are chanting her name at home games. If only they watched "Dancing with the Stars."

Forget Kim, Photog Wants Her Mama

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Our 20-something photog tried his best to make a cougar out of 52-year-old Kris Jenner yesterday -- but it's clear she's happy with the old man she has.

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Kim K: Coming Back -- My Ass

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So there's a rumor out there that Kim Kardashian may be back on "Dancing with the Stars" after Misty May tapped out with an Achilles tendon injury.

Here's what we know. Kim is flying back from New Orleans tomorrow. Our source in the know says she's coming home "to meet with ABC execs about her future with the show."

Here's the weird part: We're told KK's partner, Mark Ballas, has not been contacted about coming back.

Stay tuned ...

Kim K's Mom -- Mum

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Kris Kardashian had her game face on last night when she was asked about the OJ verdict. And there's plenty of story behind this one.

Kim K's Mom -- Mum

As you know, Kris was married to Robert Kardashian, the man whose look of shock when OJ was acquitted is forever immortalized. We know that privately, Kris made no secret of the fact that she felt Simpson was a murderer. But that was then.

Kim Kardashian's mom wouldn't say justice has finally come to OJ Simpson. But we know what you're thinking....

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Judge to Khloe K -- Stop Dragging Ass

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The other Kardashian sister was in court today for a progress hearing on her DUI -- and nearly blew it when the judge learned she hadn't completed her required drug and alcohol classes by today's scheduled appearance.

The judge scolded the reality star this morning for missing more than one of her classes -- but Kimmy's sis says it wasn't her fault. KK blamed holidays that fell on scheduled class dates (they were closed) and over booked sessions (not enough seats) kept her from fulfilling her obligation -- but the judge wasn't having it.

The "Celebrity Apprentice" wannabe was still given until November 17 to complete her last class and is required to fly back from NYC this month to do a day's work in an L.A. morgue.

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Bruce Jenner Backhands Kimmy K

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He was trying to give his stepdaughter a compliment, but all Bruce Jenner did was confirm everyone's assumption that Kim Kardashian is a spoiled rich girl who "never competed for anything in her life."

Adding that his BFF was the casting director for "DWTS" didn't help her out much either.

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Kim K's Ass Inspires Dance

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Our "Dancing with the Stars" spies just gave us the best info EVER. Tonight, Kim Kardashian will be dancing to the song, "Baby Got Back."

Need we say more?

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Kim K Hauls Ass in 90210

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It's not exactly OJ, but guess what we found out? Kim Kardashian has the long arm of the law around her waist -- she was popped yesterday for speeding in a school zone.

It happened in Bev Hills, when Kim was going from "Dancing With the Stars" rehearsal to her home to shoot the even lamer "Keeping Up with the Kardashians." She took it like a man, not even arguing with the officer who cited her for speeding as well as driving with tinted windows.

Who says Khloe's not an influence on KK?

Ass Man Sticks Nose Where It Shouldn't Be

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A Florida man has filed criminal charges against his girlfriend for allegedly breaking his nose after a fight over Kim Kardashian and porn. Sounds reasonable.

The dude was sitting at home, minding his own business and watching his favorite show, "Keeping Up with the Kardashians." Normally, that would trigger a 5150 hold, but in this case police responded because his girlfriend got so jealous over his infatuation with KK and pornography, she threw a vase which hit him right in the schnoz, breaking it.

According to the police report, the chick was highly intoxicated (which probably helps her get through the show each week), but she claims it was only an accident.

Khloe K. Takes Two for the Road

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The lesser Kardashian pilfered enough hooch from a busted-up House of Hype party in L.A. last night to throw her own afterparty.

Maybe not the best idea for a gal on 36-month probation for a DUI.

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Reggie Hates Kim's Media Whorishness

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It's finally happening. Reggie Bush is getting sick and tired of Kim Kardashian's ego-maniacal obsession -- the paparazzi.

Maybe it was having to sit through Kim's "performance" in "Disaster Movie," but Bush was in no mood to deal with all the crap that comes along with dating a Kardashian as they left the theater last night.

Kim -- she loved it.

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Kim K to 911: I Gotta Dance!!!!!!

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We've learned Kim Kardashian was "freaking out" after cutting her foot, calling 911 and later telling the EMT's she had an "emergency" because she was on "Dancing with the Stars."

We're told that the doctors (yes, plural) decided to glue rather than suture the cut on Kim K's foot ... so the wound couldn't have been that deep. BTW, it's surgical glue that holds the wound together.

We're told Kim wanted the glue because stitches take too long to heal and it would interfere with her mambo.

Bloody Sunday -- Kim K. Rushed to ER

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The new season of "Dancing With the Stars" may have already lost its first competitor -- and they haven't even announced the official cast yet.

Kim Kardashian -- who is scheduled to be on the show this season -- badly cut her foot in her hotel room late Sunday night. We're told she sliced her foot open on a glass coffee table and was rushed to New York Presbyterian Hospital. No word on how many stitches she needed, but a source tells TMZ there was "so much blood, it looked like a murder scene."

"DWTS" makes its official cast announcement this morning and Kim is in town to do press for that and her new movie, "Disaster Movie." We're told Kim already has begun to practice for the show, but it's unclear now whether she'll be able to participate.

Kim K's Trojan Man Rubs Off on Her

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Kim Kardashian may have a hard enough time spelling USC -- even though her man Reggie Bush is a legend there -- but last night she was rocking the cardinal and gold to CoCo De Ville, the one place she's fully qualified to get into.

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