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Ted Cruz El Chapo Should Pay For the Wall Let's Make it a Law!

4/25/2017 5:14 PM PDT

Ted Cruz has the perfect solution on how to pay for Donald Trump's border wall ... pass a law to use El Chapo's billions and loot from other lords to underwrite construction.

The Texas senator introduced a new bill Tuesday called the Ensuring Lawful Collection of Hidden Assets to Provide Order Act -- aka the EL CHAPO Act ... which does just that.

The bill would allow the U.S. to use all cash forfeited by drug lords to pay for the wall and border security.

According to Ted ... the U.S. is already gunning for more than $14 billion in drug money and other profits that the Mexican drug lords collected, and Cruz says that will go a long way toward the estimated $20 plus billion in construction costs.

The government is on the verge of shutting down this week, in part because of funding for the border wall project. Looks like Ted's trying to get creative with a solution.

Pro Golfer Matt Goggin United Went All Dao On My Clubs!

4/25/2017 4:35 PM PDT
Breaking News

Matt Goggin wants justice for his broken golf clubs -- he's just afraid to demand it from United Airlines for fear of getting manhandled a la Dr. David Dao.

The Australian pro golfer's pissed off about 3 of his clubs getting snapped at the head. As he put it ... it's the first time in more than 20 years his gear got destroyed in flight.

Naturally, Goggin was looking to give someone an earful -- if only he had flown a different airline. He tweeted, "I was going to complain but I must admit I'm a little intimidated by @united."

He's obviously referring to the infamous video of Dao getting jacked up.

Lucky for Matt, TaylorMade Golf responded and promised to replace the clubs. As for United? Maybe they've just got bigger fish to fry.

'Silicon Valley' Star I'm Not Sarah, But Thanks for the Penis Pic, Dude!

4/25/2017 3:32 PM PDT

"Silicon Valley" star Amanda Crew got an eyeful of some guy's junk when she checked her text messages ... but her cool chick reaction made his day.

Amanda says the strange schlong came in the middle of a string of texts from a guy who thought he was texting someone named Sarah. He started, "Hey sexy girl. Can't wait to see you again."

Then came the pecker shot. Amanda let him down easily, and then posted the full exchange. She was nice enough to remove his phallus though.

The lesson: beware wrong numbers while sexting. Ya probably won't be as lucky as this guy.

Wesley Snipes Finally Weighs In On 'White Men Can't Jump' Remake

4/24/2017 12:45 AM PDT
EXCLUSIVE

It's the question everyone who loves Sidney Deane wants to know -- will Wesley Snipes give his blessing for the "White Men Can't Jump" remake????

Snipes knew all about the project when we spotted him out in L.A. -- and cracked a bunch of jokes about the guy expected to star in the flick, Blake Griffin.

He even pondered if Griffin would play the black guy or the white guy in the movie ... and gave a pretty hilarious idea about it.

As we previously reported, Hollywood power player Kenya Barris -- producer of "Black-ish" -- is spearheading the project WITH Griffin and told us they are dead serious about making it happen.

Check out the clip of Wesley and don't just listen ... HEAR IT!!!

Bill Clinton Trolls Trump ... I Was Bugged Too, Donald!

4/23/2017 1:32 PM PDT

Bill Clinton's got a new bug on the lawn of the Clinton Center ... and a new joke for Donald Trump too.

Bill posed with a big ole grasshopper recently installed on the premises in Little Rock. He tweeted ... "BREAKING: We just learned that the @ClintonCenter has been bugged."

He was clearly taking a jab at Trump's claim Obama had Trump Tower wiretapped during the 2016 election. 

BTW ... the critter Bill's posing with is part of the Clinton Center's Xtreme BUGS exhibit, which opened Saturday in honor of Earth Day.

We're guessing Donald's itching to respond.

Prince William Takes a Shot In the Face!!

4/23/2017 10:46 AM PDT

Prince William might be royalty, but he's not above a good squirt in the face ... especially when he's on the front lines of a marathon handing out H2O.

William and Kate were at the London Marathon Sunday, being good citizens and handing out water to runners -- and this is the thanks they got. 

At least the unknown practical joker had the decency to avoid the Duchess's mug.

We're guessing Will was a good sport about it. He's been known to be a happy-go-lucky future king from time to time.

Kevin Hart Stop the Shortage ... Unleash That New Prince Music

4/23/2017 8:04 AM PDT
EXCLUSIVE

Kevin Hart wants Prince's new music to be released to the public, but he's also got a theory -- a short, sweet one -- on why it's being blocked.

We got Kevin Saturday heading into Tao in L.A. and caught him up on the Prince news ... that the new album was pulled after his estate got a restraining order against the producer of the unreleased tracks.

He makes no bones about whether it should eventually be released -- but check out what he thinks is behind the legal battle in the first place.

Can't vouch for Kev's accuracy here, but he's funny. 

Gabriel Iglesias Want Something Hard?! Check out These GUNS!

4/23/2017 12:40 AM PDT
EXCLUSIVE

Fluffy to Buffy? Gabriel Iglesias says that's the plan, and even though he's boxing to get it done ... do NOT call him the Mexican Butterbean!

We caught up with the comedian Friday at LAX, where he gave us a weight loss update. Remember, Fluffy canceled a few tour dates and rearranged some others to focus on his health. He took up boxing and says he's already had double digit success.

Gabriel flexed his new muscle for us, dropped a few jokes about his fitness regimen ... but also had a message for anyone else struggling with demons.

Oh, and since he brought him up -- take us out, Butterbean!

FSU Star DeMarcus Walker My First Pitch was Terrible, but ... Still Better Than Fiddy's!

4/22/2017 12:05 AM PDT
EXCLUSIVE

DeMarcus Walker knows he completely blew it throwing out the first pitch at an FSU baseball game, but it could have been worse ... he could have pulled a 50 Cent!

The former Florida State defensive stud and future NFLer -- he's projected to be a 2nd or 3rd round pick next week -- tells us he practiced before the game ... but was just hella nervous once he got on the mound.

As for where DeMarcus fits in the First Pitch Hall of Shame -- he doesn't think he's the worst of the worst ... because at least he got it to the catcher!

Still ... he should probably stick to football.

Kristen Wiig Crashes Dodgeball Game Pumps Up Team Wiigs!!

4/20/2017 1:46 PM PDT
Exclusive Details

Kristen Wiig's a real team player ... especially when the team is named after her.

The hilarious actress surprised a West Hollywood dodgeball team Wednesday called Team Wiigs -- they dress up as famous Kristen characters for games -- by stopping by to pump 'em up.

We're told Wiig's friend on the opposing team told her about the theme, and they all set up a fun surprise. When the rest of the Wiigs showed up for their match ... BOOM! Real Wiig in the house!!

Kristen brought champagne for a pep talk/toast and huddled with the team for a "Sorry!" chant ... in Gilly voice, of course. Great strategy ... Team Wiigs won its match to end the regular season undefeated.

Seinfeld NYC Architect Nabbed in 'Operation Vandelay Industries'

4/20/2017 9:07 AM PDT

"Seinfeld" is back ... linked to a guy who's been indicted for passing himself off as an architect, and the investigation is called "Operation Vandelay Industries." Seriously.

New York's Attorney General announced a 3-charge indictment Thursday against a guy auspiciously named Paul Newman -- yes, Newman -- for allegedly defrauding construction companies, business owners and others by pretending to be a licensed and registered architect.

The AG says Newman drafted bogus designs for over 100 properties in 3 NY counties since 2010, making tens of thousands in the process. He was also the only employee at his company.

George Costanza would be proud.

Snoop Dogg 'Grow House' Crew Smokes Up Hotel ... Sets Off Fire Alarm!

4/19/2017 11:06 AM PDT

The cast of the upcoming Snoop Dogg movie, "Grow House," made themselves a little too much at home at the W Hotel in L.A. ... and got the fire dept. called on them.

Snoop's co-stars Xzibit, Lil Duval, and the writer/director, DJ Pooh, were doing interviews with Civilized at the hotel Monday when they decided to do what they do -- get high! Problem is ... smoke detectors are pretty good in hotels.

The W's staff looked pissed -- having to evacuate everybody and all. Everyone else though ... looked totally chill. Wonder why? Also not shocking ... "Grow House" comes out 4/20.

Betsy DeVos Sec. of 'Educatuon' ... White House Trollin'?

4/17/2017 3:20 PM PDT

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos got a new title Monday, courtesy of a seriously ironic White House flub ... and we'd like to believe we're being trolled. No, we HOPE we're being trolled.

The White House posted a pic of DeVos reading to a bunch of kids at the annual Easter Egg Roll, but labeled her "Secretary of Educatuon" in the caption.

Of course, the Internet's been going off in the comments, but this is hardly the first typo in White House press releases under the Trump administration. Is someone just having a laugh, or ... 

Thoghts?