Get ready for a slurry of avocado ice cream and deflated football jokes ... Tom Brady has signed up to be roasted as part of a new deal with Netflix.

The streaming service giant announced Tuesday it's making a series of new specials called "Greatest Roasts of All Time: GROAT" -- and TB12 is slated to be one of the first roastees.

Netflix says Brady will also serve as an executive producer for the series ... and the company actually clowned on the Tampa Bay Bucs star in its announcement for it all.

"We can't wait to burn three-time Super Bowl-losing quarterback Tom Brady, who only went back to the NFL in order to delay this roast," Netflix Vice President of Stand-up and Comedy Formats Robbie Praw said in a statement.

"In all seriousness, it's a huge thrill to work with the greatest football player of all time on this project. No one’s better at taking hits and still coming out on top, so we know the roast will be a breeze for Brady."

Brady had fun with the announcement, too ... channeling Marshawn Lynch by saying, "I'm just here so I won't get fined."

Johnny Cash is arguably the greatest country singer ever, so it was fitting for his hometown in Arkansas to put his silhouette on a water tower, but someone decided to enhance the image with a bullet, and the results are hilarious!

The bullet hit squarely on Johnny's junk, penetrating the water tower in the process, and it now looks like J.C. is taking a never-ending leak.

It's an ignominious turn for Kingsland, a city of 500 that just wanted to honor Johnny. The singer has been taking a leak for over a week, thanks to the 50,000-gallon tank.

As humorous as it is, there are serious implications. More than 30,000 gallons of water have escaped through the bullet hole, soaking the dirt around the tower.

On the upside, there are lots of visitors who are descending on Kingsland to get a look at the leak, which always helps the local economy.

Big E's broken neck isn't going to stop him from living life ... the WWE superstar hit up Marlon Wayans' comedy show -- wearing his neck brace -- Friday night in Florida.

The former WWE champ posted a picture on Instagram of him and Marlon at the Seminole Hard Rock Event Center in Tampa ... with the two sharing a friendly embrace.

"Massive thanks to @hardrocktampa for a fun night of hob nobbing. (That sounds filthier than intended…)" E captioned the photo.

The event is worth noting 'cause E recently (March 11) suffered a devastating injury in the ring (well, technically outside of it) when fellow Superstar Ridge Holland dumped the 5'11", 285 lb. star on his head, breaking his neck in the process.

After the belly-to-belly suplex went terribly wrong, E was carted out of the arena on a stretcher, and taken directly to a local hospital for treatment. He ultimately had surgery ... which thankfully went well, according to the wrestler.

Things could've been far worse for E ... doctors say he could've suffered a stroke, paralysis, or worse, death.

Seeing Big E out and about, smiling, is a welcome sight for WWE fans ... who are obviously concerned about the WWE Superstar's health.

Jack Harlow just discovered the connection between Ray J and Brandy, getting schooled on their family history live on air ... and it's all on video and hilarious!!!

The "First Class" rapper was doing a live interview Wednesday on "Ebro in the Morning" on Hot97 radio in New York when the hosts got him to play a music guessing game.

While a Brandy song plays in his headphone, Jack struggles to name the voice singing the lyrics ... with his first guess Aaliyah. Nope!!!

The hosts playfully rib Jack and start feeding him clues ... telling him the singer starred in her own TV show.

Jack asks for more and then it gets funny ... the hosts think he will figure it out once they steer him in the direction of Ray J, so they hint at the singer's brother having an amazing sex tape.

The lightbulb doesn't quite turn on for Jack right away ... and then he asks who is Ray J's sister.

Um, it's Brandy ... but apparently, not everyone knows.

Jack's a good sport about it in the end ... explaining no one ever told him that fun fact and saying he had no idea.

DJ Khaled pulled a Drake during the Miami Heat playoff game on Tuesday ... jumping up from his courtside seat to assist his beloved team -- including giving Erik Spoelstra a shoulder massage!!

The hilarious moment went down in the third quarter of the Heat's second-round matchup against the Philadelphia 76ers ... when the mogul hopped up to snag a ball that went out of bounds.

But, while Khaled was up, he decided to pump up the crowd by clapping and cheering ... and when he made his way back to his seat, he gave Coach Spo's shoulders a squeeze.

Of course, it's reminiscent of what Drizzy did to Toronto Raptors coach Nick Nurse back in the 2019 playoffs ... when he tried to calm him down after a Fred VanVleet three-pointer.

Khaled should be careful, though -- the NBA had to talk to the Raps regarding Drake's sideline antics ... but ultimately, nothing serious happened.

Spo seemed to love Khaled's gesture ... saying, "That was funny. I didn't even notice him until the end, what he was doing to get the crowd fired up."

"But, I loved it," he added. "That's awesome. I was humbled to be part of that moment. He's such a great fan there. Over the years, I've said hello a few times. But, that was the best interaction and that was genuine."

Chrishell Stause is ready to start a family -- and the first place she and her new partner are looking is on Facebook ... that is, if you take this fake article at face value.

Here's the deal ... the "Selling Sunset" star got roped into some dumb joke posted by comedian Grace Kuhlenschmidt on social media ... where she poses as the subject of a phony news article describing how Chrishell and her partner, G Flip, have adopted her, an "adult lesbian daughter."

It was totally silly, but the love birds leaned in ... each of them responding to Grace's IG post. GF wrote, "We are so so thrilled. Thank you so much x" and CS echoed that.

After some backlash, though, it seems Chrishell had to clear the air -- namely, pointing out that they were all joking around ... and that they had NOT, in fact, adopted an "adult lesbian" woman off of Facebook.

Chrishell writes, "The amount of people in the comments & replies to this that don't understand that it is a JOKE is actually startling. Soo tempting to post some of the replies. I am happy and can take a joke! This comedian made me laugh with her post."

She adds, "But no guys, we did not adopt an adult for $36 on Facebook Marketplace. Lol."

Of course, Chrishell's snarky response shouldn't confuse folks ... she apparently does want to adopt kids -- something she and her ex, Jason Oppenheim, were at odds over before splitting -- and referenced as much over Mother's Day weekend.

As for Chrishell and G Flip -- they're still going strong, it seems.

Amy Schumer is opening her comedy vault -- she just laid out another joke that Oscars honchos apparently said no to ... and this one's on video.

The comedian revealed her latest axed bit during a set for the 'Netflix Is a Joke' festival going on right now -- and at one point in her performance, she laid out what exactly it was that showrunners weren't really feeling from AS's pitched material.

Watch ... it's a gag that incorporates a bunch of the nominated films to make a sex joke about her husband. You can watch it for yourself -- we'll just say, it ends in pregnancy.

Whether it was funny or not ... well, that sorta depends on who you're asking, it seems. The joke seemed to land well for the live audience that received it -- they were laughing it up when she delivered it -- but if you go peep how folks online are taking it ... it ain't good.

This harkens back to last month when Amy revealed yet another joke she claims was scrapped ... which was about Alec Baldwin, something most folks didn't see much humor in.

The Baldwin joke wasn't caught on tape -- she talked about it during a stand-up show of hers in Vegas, where people's phones were locked away ... but it was reported on nonetheless. Whether any of these jokes were actually on the table is also anyone's guess.

She could just be making these up now/working them into her current set ... who knows. Either way, what did end up making it into her monologue that night worked extremely well. You'll recall ... she roasted everybody under the sun and got a great response at the time.

It's been less than a week since the Dave Chappelle bum-rush at the Hollywood Bowl, and another comic's already headlined the venue, apparently without incident ... John Mulaney.

The beloved comedian took the stage Saturday night with a couple of openers where Dave was attacked by a guy just a few short days ago -- and, according to reports, everything went swimmingly ... which might have to do with the beefed-up security on high alert.

THR's got a pretty description of the guards on hand and the vibe in general -- they say everyone had to go through the metal detectors and have their bag checked, per usual.

The difference now ... a wood panel that used to line the very front row and the stage was replaced by a fence -- and not just that, but apparently 10 security officers lined the stage from down below in addition to other guards that were in the second level and off to the sides too.

It might sound more intense than it actually was though -- while there weren't any phones allowed from the crowd, somebody did get a video of John exiting the stage to thunderous applause ... giving us a great view of the front of the stage, and the fence looks wimpy.

John even acknowledged it in his set -- poking fun at HB security and the Chappelle incident in general ... reportedly saying, "we have great security. This fence is so jumpable it’s crazy."

Another reference to the stage crasher ... John challenged the crowd (jokingly, of course) by saying, "No one’s going to do anything. You don’t have the balls." He went on to riff about how great rushing the stage would be for whatever cause someone was all about.

His two openers, Earthquake and Seaton Smith, also referenced Isaiah Lee ... but kept it mild, it seems. In the end, it appears everyone had a good time -- and no one got hurt.

Drake's DM to one dude's wife may have crossed the line, but it's all love and the guy is actually a big fan ... so says the troll himself!

As we reported ... Drake clapped back to a guy named Cedric, by DM'ing the dude's wife. He wrote, "I just followed your girl cause she prob miserable and needs some excitement in her life".

Drizzy followed up by messaging Cedric's wife, Toni saying ... "I'm here for u ma".

It all started after Cedric took a jab at Drake on Instagram on a post where Drake defended Tee Morant -- father of NBA star Ja Morant. Cedric chimed in referencing a rumor that Drake doesn't write his own music, obviously, hitting a nerve for the 6 God.

Of course, the beef sparked lots of reactions from folks on social media, but we talked to Cedric and his wife, Toni, and they were actually in good spirits over the whole thing.

Cedric says, he felt Drake took things a little too far, by messaging his wife ... but he finds the whole situation hilarious. At first, he didn't think the comment would go anywhere, and he was shocked when a little trash-talking escalated into Drake actually DM'ing his wife.

Cedric says he's actually a huge fan of Drake. His wife, Toni, was all smiles over the dustup. She says, she's not interested in going on a date with Drake, because she's super happy with her hubby ... but she insisted they all meet!

Amber Heard is pooped amid the Johnny Depp trial, and if not that -- her name certainly is ... at least according to a Google search and the International Movie Database itself.

Indeed ... it appears somebody has changed AH's official name to "Amber Turd" within IMDb's CMS somewhere, so that it shows up that way when you Google her. As of Saturday afternoon, this is what popped up when you got to her IMDb page in the search results.

But when you click into her actual profile on the site, her name is spelled correctly. BTW, the 'Turd' misspelling appears on both desktop and mobile -- so it's not just a fluke. It seems this was a deliberate change that's been made ... but it's unclear who the blame lies with.

Like we said, our best guess is that this an IMDb problem rather than a Google one -- and we've reached out to the company (which is owned and operated by Amazon) for comment. Reel 360 News first reported the IMDb flub.

In any case ... this stunt/prank obviously stems from the infamous "delivery" that was apparently left behind after one of Johnny and Amber's fights during her birthday in 2016. Johnny says he left, and when he returned ... he found a huge piece of crap in his bed.

Amber has long denied responsibility, insisting it was one of their small dogs that did it ... but JD has called BS, as did one of his security guards/drivers -- who testified that Amber told him it was a "horrible practical joke gone wrong" on the way to Coachella the next day.

Johnny testified about this on the stand a couple weeks back ... calling it absurd and grotesque, but apparently finding some humor in the bizarre memory.

As silly as the poop story seems -- which the internet has latched onto -- it could actually prove pivotal when Amber is under cross-examination. Fact is ... this all comes down to credibility and believability -- and if she doubles down on her dog claim again, it could ding her with the jury ... nobody really buys that doo-doo came from anything but a human.

The longer this trial goes, the more it seems like a he-said-she-said ... and any sense of fabricating could be detrimental. But on this issue of feces, the people have spoken. 💩

Gabriel Iglesias is gearing up for some record-setting gigs at his beloved Dodger Stadium, and, in the wake of the Dave Chappelle incident ... he's not worried about getting got by violent hecklers.

Gabriel, AKA Fluffy, joined "TMZ Live" to talk about being the first comedian ever to perform at the iconic home of the L.A. Dodgers, as a part of the "Netflix Is A Joke" 12-day festival.

Fluffy tells us he wanted to go big or go home, and sure enough ... this is the biggest venue he's ever played. He's filling more than 45,000 seats this weekend, making it the 3rd biggest comedy show ever ... and the biggest ever in Los Angeles.

Of course, the attack on Chappelle is on the mind of all comedians -- many are ramping up security measures -- but Gabriel says he's not worried at all.

He broke news with us about someone jumping on his stage last week in Seattle ... revealing his security team -- which he calls the best -- immediately took down the guy. But, "professionally," he says.

Pete Davidson is poking fun at Kanye West's divorce from Kim Kardashian ... comparing his girlfriend's ex-hubby to a famous Robin Williams movie character.

The 'SNL' star came out swinging in his stand-up set on "Netflix Is a Joke: The Festival" ... shading Kanye for being a modern-day Mrs. Doubtfire.

Pete asks the crowd ... "Does anybody else secretly hope that, like, Kanye pulls like a Mrs. Doubtfire? I come home one day and they're like, this is the new housekeeper. And, he's like, "What's up fam?"

Of course, Robin played the title character in the 1993 movie about a divorced actor who dresses up as a female housekeeper to be able to see his kids.

Pete even joked about the Kanye allegedly spreading rumors he had AIDS ... joking John Mulaney called him and told him the best way to respond would be to spread a rumor Kanye has Polio.

Pete's bit went on ... he says he's not bothered by Kanye's collab with his friend Jack Harlow ... joking the thing that would offend him is if comedian Bill Burr suddenly showed up at Sunday Service.

Dave Chappelle gave mad props to Jamie Foxx, Busta Rhymes and Jon Stewart for stepping in and taking down the dude who attacked him at the Hollywood Bowl, but we've now learned the famous comedian was doing what he does -- joking.

Dave's spokesperson, Carla Sims, tells TMZ ... immediately after the attack, D.C. went directly back to standup mode, grabbing the mic and celebrating the beatdown ... saying Busta was helping stomp on the 23-year-old who was armed with a replica gun and real knife.

Dave also called Jamie out on the stage and thanked him for participating.

And, at the after-party, Dave told the crowd ... you know you've crossed the line when Jon Stewart gets a few licks in of his own.

Well, now Sims is telling us Dave's comments were simply part of his ever-evolving act ... in that none of the 3 guys threw a punch or otherwise participated in the takedown.

Now Jamie, Jon and Busta probably appreciate the clarification ... it's unclear if the attacker may lawyer up, claiming he was the victim of excessive force by people on the stage, so clearing things up would protect them from possible legal action.

Dave Chappelle thanked his comrades in arms for beating the crap out of his Hollywood Bowl attacker -- this just hours after it went down -- and TMZ has obtained audio where Dave opens up about the terrifying incident.

Dave was characteristically funny but also very serious, when he told the crowd Tuesday night at the Pendry Hotel in WeHo, "I felt good my friends broke his arm. I felt good, how bad does a n***** have to be that Jon Stewart would stomp him!"

But, Dave had his limits, telling the crowd, "Killing that n**** would have been stupid."

Dave thanked his friends during the after-party ... it seems some of the folks who subdued the attacker were on hand. Dave expressed his gratitude this way ... "those are very powerful friends and I'm sharing [this night] with people I love very much."

Although Dave continued on with his act after the attack, he was clearly shaken, but he seemed chill at the after-party.

Busta Rhymes co-hosted the after-party with Dave ... btw, Busta's one of the celebs who got his licks in when the attacker was neutralized.

Of course, as you know, the 23-year-old attacker was injured and taken to a hospital. He was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon.

The Laugh Factory, one of the meccas of standup comedy in Los Angeles, is beefing up security ... and it's in response to the attack on Dave Chappelle and the Oscars slap.

Honchos at the famous comedy venue on Sunset Blvd. tell TMZ not only have they put up a sign in support of Dave, but they're also going to great lengths to protect comics after what happened during Dave's set Tuesday night at the Hollywood Bowl.

Remember ... an attacker jumped on stage and lunged at Dave, slamming him to the ground before running around the stage and eventually catching a beating. The guy had a replica gun with a real knife attachment.

We're told the new security plan at the Laugh Factory features more security guards both inside and outside the venue, including plainclothes guards in the crowd tasked with preventing anyone from rushing the stage.

Somehow, Dave's attacker got the gun/knife into the Hollywood Bowl and past metal detectors, and we're told the Laugh Factory is now using a metal detector at the front door for the first time ever.

The Chappelle attack also prompted a staff meeting at the Laugh Factory ... with leadership blaming the incident on the Will Smith slap at the Oscars, seeing it as some sort of copycat effect, combined with a lack of criminal charges for Will.