Jon & Kate

And nothing says intimidation like cargo shorts and mandals.

The 32-year-old father of eight may not have a chunk-striped, bi-level reverse mullet weave, but he does have a hideous douchey hoodie to call his own.

Fortunately, we're told the baby suffered no permanent damage for staring directly into Kate's chunk-stripe, bi-level reverse mullet weave.

... her estranged husband Jon rode around on an ATV at their Pennsylvania home on Monday.

Jon and Kate are separated ... by over 500 miles.

Jon Gosselin is channeling his inner Biz Markie -- claiming the girls he was kickin' it with on Memorial Day weekend (sans Kate) are nothing more than friends.

Jon told People.com, "The two women with whom I've been photographed are family friends – Lauren Glassman and Lauren's daughter, Hailey.

"Lauren's husband, Dr. Larry Glassman, performed Kate's tummy tuck surgery, and since the surgery we've become friendly with the Glassmans."

Jon was out again with the twosome at the Riverside Square Mall in New Jersey this weekend -- where he went on a $2,000 on a mid-day shopping spree.

We can finally see why Jon fell in love with her in the first place.

The Pennsylvania Department of Labor would approve.

Now we find out he dropped more than $2,000 Friday at the Barneys CO-OP in the Riverside Square Mall in New Jersey. It's the same mall where one of the two women he was with dropped $595 at Tumi -- on a purse.

And spies at the mall tell us Jon and the two girls dropped in on Louis Vuitton, Cole Haan and Godiva. As one dude put it, Jon was decked out in cheesy Ed Hardy duds.

And now we're told the two women who accompanied Jon were the two chicks with whom he spent Memorial Day. We got this pic of the trio at Front Street Bar and Grill in Newburgh, NY.

From the looks of it, Jon was spending on Jon but not Kate Plus 8.

More proof that Jon & Kate may be minus each other -- maybe.

Our spies told us Jon was in a Tumi luggage store yesterday with two chicks -- "one older, the other youngish." The store is in a mall in Hackensack, New Jersey.

We spoke with a store rep, and it's true. The older chick plunked down $595 for a handbag. And, even worse than infidelity, that was the sale price!

TLC is pooh-poohing a story that "Jon & Kate Plus 8" will 86 the kiddies and send them off to Switzerland.

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review is running a story that the kids will be shipped off to boarding school and the show will be renamed "Jon & Kate Unleashed." According to the story, the Gosselin kids will make "occasional guest appearances" but the show will become "something sexy -- and perhaps even a little sinister."

Here's the deal. The story quotes Executive Producer Benny Temberton. But we contacted TLC and they say the story is bogus and they've never even heard of Benny. We checked -- B.T. is not in the credits.

A Labor Dept. spokesperson says there's been a complaint and they are investigating.

A TLC rep tells us, "TLC fully complies with all applicable laws and regulations. "Jon & Kate Plus 8" is no exception. For an extended period of time, we have been engaged in cooperative discussions and supplied all requested information to the Pennsylvania Department of Labor. We will continue to engage the appropriate officials and meet any standards or regulations that are applicable to TLC productions."

Story developing...

On Bottom: Kate plus most of the eight getting off a ferry on Bald Head Island, North Carolina yesterday morning.

Dude was biggest flirt at his high school. We'll see how long he remains on top.

It was just a year ago that TMZ broke the story that J.Lo and TLC were trying to come to terms on a reality show but J.Lo was adamant that she would not put her kids on TV -- she wanted to focus on ... yawn ... behind the scenes on creating a new J.Lo fragrance. TLC, we're told, wanted to show the kiddies.

Fast forward to Monday night -- Jon & Kate scored an astonishing 9.8 million viewers. TLC sources tell us it's pretty clear the J.Lo ain't gonna sell tickets anymore, so they have shelved the show. As one TLC source put it, "It was on life support for awhile, and now we've just lost interest."

The couple -- who did the majority of their confessionals solo on "Jon & Kate Plus 8" -- addressed Jon's alleged affair, which he flat out denied.

Despite the denial, Kate still considered the dreaded D-word: Divorce.

These are Jon's senior yearbook pics from 1995, when he was captain of his state champion soccer team -- which his dad coached -- and more importantly, the proud owner of the "Friendly Flirt" award.

Some things never change.

Everyone from Queen Latifah to last year's winner David Cook sported the inexplicable side bang/spiky top shag.