Jimmy Kimmel Hey Donald, You Look Like Jabba The Hutt!!!

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Jimmy Kimmel just can't bite his tongue when it comes to Donald Trump ... calling the world's most powerful man "Jabba The President" amid the 50th anniversary of "Star Wars."

The comedian once again came out swinging at Trump in his opening monologue on Monday's "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" ... and this time he zeroed-in on The Donald's figure.

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MAY THE 4TH BE WITH YOU

Jimmy kicked things off by talking about the recent "Star Wars" celebration in Hollywood, with the film turning 50 next May. Kimmel then quickly pivoted to Trump, comparing him to the film's famous blob character, Jabba the Hutt.

Secret Service Agent Busted For Alleged Hotel Hallway Masturbation

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A Secret Service agent is in police custody in Miami after allegedly being caught with his pants down in public.

John Spillman was arrested for indecent exposure over the weekend ... with law enforcement claiming he was masturbating in a hotel hallway.

Spillman was reportedly in Florida working perimeter security as part of President Trump's visit to Trump National Doral Golf Club for the 2026 PGA Cadillac Championship.

Rudy Giuliani I Don't Need Ventilator Any More!!!

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HE'S GOT NINE LIVES!!!

Some good news for Rudy Giuliani ... he's back to breathing on his own after being on a ventilator.

Rudy's doctor hopped on Fox News and provided a positive health update for the former New York City mayor ... saying he's doing much better Monday after having a priest come to the hospital and anoint him.

As we reported on Sunday ... 81-year-old Rudy was rushed to a Florida hospital in critical condition ... suffering from a bout with pneumonia.

JPMorgan Chase Exec I Like Getting Wet ... On Rainy Days!!! New X-Rated Wordplay Claim

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A rainy-day excuse from JPMorgan Chase exec Lorna Hajdini turned into something way more loaded -- at least according to new details in the bombshell lawsuit filed by a former employee.

According to the complaint, obtained by TMZ and formally entered Monday on the docket, the ex-JPMorgan banker -- identified as John Doe -- points to a pair of May 2024 exchanges he claims set everything in motion.

He says, after he declined drinks because of the weather, Lorna, his supervisor, pivoted ... inviting him into her Uber and allegedly dropping a one-liner: "Come with me ... I don’t like the rain, but I do like getting wet."

He claims that wasn't the first time she hit him with a "wet" reference ... alleging the harassment started when they began working together earlier that month -- and Hajdini made her first move on him.

Met Gala Red Carpet Scare Protestor Tackled By Security, NYPD

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A tense moment unfolded just outside fashion’s biggest night when an unidentified person made a run for the Met Gala red carpet ... but their red carpet debut was stopped instantly.

Video circulating online shows the individual darting toward the entrance where celebs were arriving, but before they get close, security and NYPD officers rush in and put the sprint to a stop. Multiple guards and officers pile on, taking the person to the ground in seconds.

The clip captures the heavy response, with authorities quickly surrounding and restraining the individual as the situation is brought under control.

Influencer Ashlee Jenae Fiancé Not Invited to Funeral

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Ashlee Jenae's loved ones are saying goodbye this week ... but the later influencer's fiancé Joe McCann won't be there ... TMZ has learned.

Sources tell us Ashlee's family did not invite him to the funeral and have not spoken to him since her death.

The influencer -- whose real name is Ashly Jenae Robinson -- died during a trip she and McCann took to Tanzania last month ... just days after he popped the question.

Cole Tomas Allen Judge Apologizes to Suspected WHCD Shooter ... Sorry for Jail Conditions!!!

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The man accused of trying to kill President Donald Trump just got something unexpected in court -- an apology.

Yeah, you read that right … a federal judge is sticking up for the alleged would-be assassin and blasting jail officials over how he's been treated behind bars.

Magistrate Judge Zia Faruqui didn't hold back Monday ... telling the court he was "disturbed" by the conditions faced by Cole Allen -- the 31-year-old accused of trying to infiltrate the White House Correspondents' Dinner to take out Trump and other top officials.

Fatal Cruise Ship Virus Outbreak Dream Vacation Turns Into Floating Horror

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Things are getting seriously grim at sea ... a luxury cruise has turned into a floating health hazard, with multiple deaths tied to a suspected hantavirus outbreak.

"Of the six affected individuals, three have died and one is currently in intensive care," the World Health Organization said ... and that's just the start of what's unfolding onboard.

The WHO says at least six people aboard a ship sailing the Atlantic off the coast of West Africa have been hit -- one case lab-confirmed, five more still under investigation -- with one passenger now fighting for their life in intensive care in South Africa.

Brazil Aircraft Slams Into Building Plane Crash Caught on Video

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DEADLY CRASH

A terrifying plane crash in Brazil was caught on camera -- and the footage is as shocking as it gets.

A small aircraft went down in the Northeast region of Belo Horizonte ... slamming straight into a building in a fiery, heart-stopping moment that played out in real time. Video shows the plane descending fast before it suddenly clips the structure and explodes on impact.

It's unclear if it was intentional or not ... the scene flips instantly to chaos ... debris flying, smoke billowing and witnesses scrambling as the aircraft disappears into the building.

Beverly Hills Car Chase Armed Suspect Arrested And Hostage Freed

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An hours-long standoff finally came to an end early Monday morning when a man wanted for attempted murder of a cop was taken into custody following a SWAT team response ... hours after releasing a hostage from his truck.

Watch the video ... police say the standoff started when the suspect refused to get out of his truck Sunday afternoon ... hours after a traffic stop led to a deputy being clipped by a vehicle very early Sunday morning. And the suspect was holding a woman hostage inside the truck.

A SWAT team later responded, and the standoff lasted almost all night ... and you can see cops were shooting off flash-bangs.

The whole thing began around 3 AM Sunday morning ... a Los Angeles County Sheriff's deputy tried to detain a man during a traffic stop in an area of south L.A. ... that's when the unidentified man took off in his pickup truck and allegedly struck the deputy.

That prompted a warrant for attempted murder ... the deputy sustained minor injuries but was not hospitalized, according to ABC7.

Ex-JPMorgan Banker John Doe's Dad Defends Son's Harassment Suit Against Female Boss

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The dad of the ex-JPMorgan Chase banker who sued his female boss is standing by his son amid scandalous allegations.

Last week, the senior VP -- identified only as John Doe in the suit -- accused Lorna Hajdini of allegedly drugging him and pressuring him into "non-consensual and humiliating sex acts."

On Sunday, the plaintiff's dad told The New York Post that he didn't know anything about his son's lawsuit, saying ... "He didn’t talk with us or anything."

Colombia Monster Truck Plows Into Crowd 3 Killed as Fans Run for Their Lives

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OUT OF CONTROL

A monster truck stunt turned into a full-blown nightmare in Colombia after a driver lost control and slammed straight into a crowd ... leaving multiple people dead and dozens more hurt.

Check out the shocking video .... it shows fans lined up behind a barrier, watching the high-flying tricks … when the truck suddenly surges forward mid-performance and barrels into spectators.

The energy goes from hype to horror in seconds -- people scatter, some diving out of the way as the massive vehicle plows through the crowd in Popayán, Colombia.

Rudy Giuliani Rushed to Hospital in Critical Condition, Spokesperson Says

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Rudy Giuliani has been rushed to the hospital in critical condition ... his spokesperson announced in a statement Sunday.

Ted Goodman announced the news on X ... noting the former New York City mayor is in critical, but stable, condition in a Florida medical center.

Giuliani is a fighter, Goodman says, who has faced all of life's challenges -- including this one -- with strength.

Bread Deliveryman Survives Collision With Commercial Airliner ... Minor Injuries, 14,000 Loaves of Bread Undamaged

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UNEXPECTED COLLISION

A bread deliveryman driving a tractor-trailer collided with a commercial airliner and SURVIVED with only a few scratches and his load of bread undamaged, according to authorities.

And get this ... The almost impossible to imagine incident was captured on video, which shows the moment of impact as the driver is cruising along the New Jersey Turnpike in Newark Sunday afternoon.

As you can see, the driver starts looking around confused when he hears the plane about to make contact with his tractor-trailer from above. There's a loud sound from the plane's engines followed by one of the landing wheels crashing into the tractor's roof, causing serious damage. 

New York ICE Drags Man Out of Hospital ... In Mob of Angry Protesters

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DRAMATIC CAPTURE

ICE agents dragged a man out of a hospital in New York City Saturday night ... all while chaos broke out in the streets outside due to a mob of livid protesters.

The incident took place outside Wyckoff Heights Medical Center in Brooklyn ... when a pair of men dragged a dude out of the center ... having to physically carry him all the way to a black SUV at one point.

You can see it all in the clip -- Anti-ICE protesters had gathered outside the building ... where they began berating officers and trashing the area. Eventually, protesters got into a physical confrontation with the cops ... with the entire street descending into bedlam.

Anna Kepner Grieving Dad Skipping Murder Trial... Alleged Killer's Mom Won't Show Face Either

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There won't be a seat saved for Anna Kepner's dad at her upcoming murder trial ... 'cause he says he'll only go if he's forced.

Christopher Kepner revealed he has no plans to attend the trial to watch his stepson, identified as "T.H.", tried for the murder of his daughter, 18-year-old Anna. Anna's 16-year-old stepbrother, T.H., is accused of sexually assaulting and then killing her while they were on a family cruise with Carnival back in November.

Christopher's wife, Shauntel Kepner -- the mother of T.H. -- will also not attend.

He told the Daily Mail ... "Unless they ask for me to be there, neither my wife or I will be attending." He says prosecutors have "everything they need" in terms of evidence and it'll be "too painful to relive it all again."