Nurse!

Cameras snapped a pigtailed Kirsten Dunst cruising the aisles of the big red bullseye this weekend, for a little shopping pick me up. Are those snacks in her cart?

Among the patrons on hand at Socialista for Ashton's birthday: Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow, Salma Hayek and Bruce Willis. They are urged to get a hepatitis shot. The Kutcher bash was held on February 7. The bartender also served up drinks on Feb. 8 and 11.

Hepatitis A is spread by putting something in one's mouth that has been contaminated with traces of fecal matter from an infected person. Symptoms include jaundice, fatigue, abdominal pain, nausea, and diarrhea. Any patron who hung at Socialista is considered to be at risk, and the Health Dept. says they should get a gamma globulin shot -- pronto!

Bar owners estimate roughly 700 to 800 people may have partied there on those three nights.

UPDATE: Socialista has issued the following statement to TMZ: "Although no additional cases of illness have been identified, the New York City Department of Health is urging customers to get the vaccination as a precautionary measure. We are grateful for their efforts and we will continue to support them in every way possible."

Story developing ...

The Half-Wit of Wittenberg topped his earlier caution against the use of safety belts by declaring, "Cigars are healzy, cigarettes are bad." He's clearly an expert on pole cigar smoking.

Ouch! His Spider-Sense won't be the only thing tingling today.

Aren't celebs used to questions like: "Who are you wearing?" and "Do you have cancer?!"

Thinking of doing a little Botox touch-up for Oscar night? Think again. The FDA just issued a warning, saying the popular cosmetic enhancement can injure or kill!

Most of Tinseltown's bad cosmetic work hasn't been of the Botox kind -- so Joan Rivers, Kathy Griffin and Michael Jackson can rest easy ... that is, if there are no mirrors in their bedrooms.

Even when the caller found out the rapper wasn't breathing -- she didn't falter from her overly calm, conversational tone.

Her rep says, "Eva is attending to some personal business in Los Angeles and intends to return to complete her treatment shortly."

Burke, 51, has done an interview with TMZ TV, in which she describes how hoarding (being a pack rat) has ruined her life, but she believes she may now be able to conquer it.

There's a story going around that Eric Dane -- aka Dr. McSteamy on "Grey's Anatomy" -- may have sold the painful story of a skin lesion on his lip to OK! magazine.

But a source close to Dane tells TMZ that all that lip service -- painful though it was to recount -- was given freely, and that no money changed hands. Dane told OK! that the malignant lesion was frozen off by liquid nitrogen -- ouch -- and that he lost 10 pounds after the procedure, because it's difficult for him eat. Nurse!

She hasn't been in rehab for a full two weeks, but Amy is apparently rehabbed enough to roam free, wig on head.

TMZ did manage to quiz Deidre about Britney ... and she went all Marlena on us!

Meyers entered an alcohol treatment program last April. He also reportedly fell off the wagon in November when he faced public drunkenness charges after an incident at a Dublin airport -- those charges were later dropped.

In a press announcement released today -- but prepared prior to TMZ's story about Mendes checking into the Cirque Lodge -- the fashion house said Eva "embodies the sexy, provocative essence of the Calvin Klein brand and we are thrilled that she will be the newest iconic beauty to represent Calvin Klein Fragrances."