Nurse!

One of them is a man.

We're just sayin'!

Luis Salgado has problems on several counts. First -- highly doubtful he has a Prez on his body. Second, the double-chin action looks more Linda Trippy than Hillary.

The good news -- looks like Dr. Tattoff may get another client.

DMX has elevated his level of crazy yet again. The rapper is now being accused of trying to dodge a hospital bill -- by using a fake name.

In April, Mayo Clinic doctors in Arizona thought they were treating a man named Troy Jones for pneumonia. The only problem is -- the man's real name was Earl Simmons, aka DMX, who was allegedly using a fake name to get out of paying his hospital bill. Clearly all his money was tied up in his pit bull and marijuana purchases!

According to court documents obtained Friday by The Arizona Republic, DMX checked into the hospital's emergency room, complaining of shortness of breath and chest pains. He was diagnosed with pneumonia and released eight hours later.

DMX could be charged with "theft of services" and providing the hospital with "false information including name and address for billing purposes."

His lawyer called the investigation "petty" and suggested that Sheriff Joe Arpaio had no sympathy for the sick. So far, DMX has not been charged.

In a petition filed in New York, Adrian Bailey says the Mouse House told the press that he'd only suffered two broken wrists after falling 20 feet from a fake sailing ship onstage last Saturday. Bailey says that it was actually 30 to 40 feet, and that his injures -- ready to wince? -- include "a broken back, shattered pelvis, fractured sternum, multiple fractured ribs and a fractured foot, in addition to fractured wrists."

Ronnie went for one of his walks in London on Wednesday.

Rock and roll will never die.

He's either desperately trying to stop the bike ... or sending a strong message to all the terrorists. Hard to tell with G-Dub!

The glowing and precious 17-year-old unwed mother-to-be is due with her first child next month.

Jimmy G was snapped on Tuesday with a XXX flyer for Ben Dover -- a British porn star/director famous for featuring women in raunchy, hardcore scenes. Bada bing!

Looks like Tony is gonna get whacked!

Now that everyone and their mother is walking around sportin' man hands, Madonna has gone and started yet another trend -- man arms!

Madge was snapped in London on Tuesday showing off her guns. Hard candy indeed.

The 43-year-old trendsetter stepped out in London on Sunday sporting the latest It accessory of the summer -- a pair of Frankenstein hands!

Carrie Bradshaw doesn't need a man -- she's got man hands!

Here's Morgan at 32-years-old (left) back in 1982 -- and an even hotter cougarlicious 58-years-young version (right) at a NYC event on Wednesday.

Chandler Bing's mom is one hot MILF!

Somebody call AA, er, Triple A!

The 54-year-old divorcee wore an absolutely faaaabulous jacket with an image of a sparkling drill-holding Whitney Houston on it . It's not right, but it's not ok!

While Whitney headlined the event, David's flamboyant ensemble stole the show.

Dr. Daniel Serrano -- aka Dr. Jiffy Lube, aka the guy who injected Priscilla Presley's face (among many others) with industrial-grade silicone -- talked to TMZ today at his deportation hearing, and guess who he says is responsible for getting him sent home -- Lionel Richie.

Serrano got nabbed by immigration right after serving time in federal prison for drug smuggling. He claims immigration cops told him Lionel's lawyer called Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Serrano claims, Richie was "jealous" because he and Lionel's ex, Diane, were engaged.

As for Priscilla, Serrano says he only "touched her up on the corner of her mouth" and "didn't cause any harm."

Serrano says, "I can tell I will be deported, I won't have justice."

The 25-year-old Prince of Wales visited a London hospital on Wednesday -- and hopefully picked up a Propecia prescription.

Even though William's not King of England yet, we can already see his crown.