TMZ TV

DMX tore the roof off Madison Square Garden -- but before anyone could say the Ruff Ryder was back for good ... the haterade started flowing. Clean up on aisle 4, X! Grrrr ...

How did Halle Berry's pregnant belly go from baby bump to bustin' out in just a few days? It's simple -- popcorn! Umm ... we'll let the little guy who knows zero about birthing babies explain that one.

If 2 Chainz had you scratching your head with ... "Put a fat rabbit on a Craftmatic" ... you probably need a translator -- which is why TMZ is here. You're welcome, white people.

Kendall Jenner is less than a year from the most coveted treasure in Hollywood -- and her predicted rise to power happens to coincide with her 18th birthday. Strange how that works, eh?

Kim Kardashian gets almost as many headlines as that other Kim -- so, we're thinking Kim Jong Un should just get knocked up by a rapper. Beats launching World War III ... just sayin'.

Britney Spears chose her own unique way to honor her fellow Mouseketeer Annette Funicello -- while others remembered the massive impact Annette's cleavage had on a generation ... of horny boys.

To each his own.

Vince Vaughn, Robert Pattinson and Joaquin Phoenix joined forces for what seemed like a totally random bros night out -- until our crack team uncovered their little blonde bond.

Chris Bosh's wife Adrienne hit a Caribbean beach with their adorable 11-month-old son -- who was udderly overshadowed by his mom's booty-FILLED bikini.

We got WWE superstar John Cena to reveal his pre-Wrestlemania ritual -- which involves a lot of shaving. So, win or lose ... he'll definitely be the smoothest guy in the ring!

Ewww.

Kim Kardashian won't let anything get between her and a delicious plate of Mexican food -- just ask the cops who were called in to help her satisfy a pregnancy craving ... safely.

Kim Kardashian is a 200 lb monster who's shoveling down so much junk food ... she got dumped by Kanye West -- according to some ridiculously creative magazines, anyway.

See, pregnancy can be entertaining! Unless you're Kim.

Lululemon has 86'd the woman behind their see-through yoga pants, which is a damn shame -- and not only because Sofia Vergara looks so good in that style. Okay, mostly because of that.

Ex-NFL star Joe Theismann might be out-gruesomed for the most stomach churning sports injury of all-time ... thanks to Louisville's Kevin Ware.

But just in case, let's grab a bucket ... and rundown the contenders.

Al Roker's underwear can breathe a huge sigh of relief, because he returned to the White House -- scene of his now infamous shart -- and made a clean escape!

That we know of ...

Lindsay Lohan's discarded cigarette butts rank pretty high up on the "Things NOT To Put in Your Mouth" list -- unless you're the disgusting guy at the airport who just couldn't help himself.