Naomi's Outfit Assaults Too!

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Is this nutbag trying to bring back Hammer pants?!?

Naomi C. and her Madea-esque fashion fairy godmother, Vogue's Andre Leon Talley were dressed more appropriately for Arabian night at Studio 54 in 1982 than the CFDA awards in NYC last night.

Can someone please let Andre know when the fire in his building is out so he can return to his shower?

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Chanel Tries to Shelve Pics of Nic & Mic

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Not everyone can fit into Chanel -- especially Nicollette Sheridan and Michelle Trachtenberg!

Last week, Chanel threw a big red carpet bash for the opening of its new Robertson Blvd. shop and invited the likes of Angie Harmon, Rachel Bilson, Sheridan and Trachtenberg -- but not Z-lister Phoebe Price! Afterwards, we're told several photo agencies were contacted by reps for the design house asking them to not posts pics of Nic and Mic at the event. Sources tell us they didn't feel the "Desperate Housewife" and "Gossip Girl" were high end enough for the label. Interesting, since they were arguably some of the more famous actresses at the event. Ever Carradine and Tracee Ellis Ross, anyone?!

We're told none of the agencies obliged the couture house's messed up request, but you can probably guess who these ladies won't be wearing to the Emmys.

TMZ contacted a rep for Chanel, but did not hear back.

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Mariah -- No Glove, No Love

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Mariah Carey wore her Hollywood Blvd. best to throw out the first pitch at a Tokyo baseball game on Tuesday.

Mimi's shirtless and belly-baring Pink Lady satin cropped jacket, Daisy Duke shorts and West Side piers heels look like the mandatory uniform for Team Shauna Sand.

Mariah's ball boy Nick Cannon was nowhere in sight.

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Skirt Happens

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Christian Slater barely moved a facial muscle when winds blew his girlfriend's skirt up.

Jimmy Choo shoe empress Tamara Mellon and bf Slater were on a boat in Cannes on Wednesday when she channeled Marilyn Monroe.

Thankfully, there was no sign of her Britney.

When the International Male Catalog Attacks!

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Criss Angel and "American Gladiator" Wolf battled it out for douchebag outfit of the night at the Academy of Country Music Awards on Sunday.

Criss' women's fedora, sleeveless leather vest and ill-fitting jeans are accented beautifully by his guido jewelry. While Wolf's crushed velvet, sleeveless, double-breasted vampire coat dress thing and bootcut denim combo bring out the highlights in his fried, over-processed weave.

There is clearly no winner here.

Pretty Woman Walking Down the Street

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Only Christina Aguilera could make a conservative dress look like something that just fell off the rack in Shauna Sand's closet.

Madame Bratman, you don't have to turn on your red light.

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No One Loves Paris As Much As Herself

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To go with her promotional borefriend Benji Madden, Paris wore a promotional t-shirt dress thing with her name on it.

This chick is so ovah, she couldn't get arrested today even if she tried.

We call bullshirt.

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Kimora Lee's Fab Life?

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Without any of her usual bling, furs, drag makeup or heels, KimHorror Lee Simmons was almost unrecognizable on Wednesday.

The 33-year-old divorcing mother of two hit the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills in all her Baby Phat glory.

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Beyonce Goes "High School Musical"

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For the love of Sharpay Evans! Can someone please tell Beyonce she is not Ashley Tisdale in "High School Musical"?

The married 26-year-old showed up to dinner in NYC -- after attending a Kanye West show, mind you -- dressed like a spoiled teenager on any Disney kids' show. She's just being Miley!

Jay-Z better knock some sense into her.

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Miss Jackson, That's Nasty!

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Janet Jackson just can't seem to avoid wardrobe malfunctions.

Damita Jo arrived to the opening of the Alexander McQueen store in L.A. on Tuesday, looking like the illegitimate celebuspawn of the Pink Panther and a Druid high priestess.

If only she could cast a spell on her record sales.

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Naomi Watts Flashes Her Headlights

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Aussie actress Naomi Watts starred in yet another "Ring" sequel last night -- as in the ones around her nipples!

While her wardrobe malfunction didn't involve the sight of her areolas, the 39-year-old blonde did expose her unfortunate flower petal pasties. Don't they come in basic black?!

A nip slip might have been less embarrassing.

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Robertson Blvd. The New Red Carpet

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Celebs used to walk the red carpet to be seen, but now all they have to do is walk to Robertson Blvd!

Just yesterday, Paris, Nicky and Kathy Hilton, Hillary Duff and Alli Sims all showed up to show off on the Blvd.

Don't think for a second that these semi-stars don't know what they're doing!

David Gest: Whitney Houston Is Back

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Liza Minnelli's ex man-wife David Gest bedazzled the crowd at a London charity event on Thursday -- literally.

The 54-year-old divorcee wore an absolutely faaaabulous jacket with an image of a sparkling drill-holding Whitney Houston on it . It's not right, but it's not ok!

While Whitney headlined the event, David's flamboyant ensemble stole the show.

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Heidi Montag: Kentucky Dingbat

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Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag took their D-list brand of horses**t to the Kentucky Derby on Saturday -- and in a truly candid moment, Heidi looked through the wrong end of the binoculars. You can't make this stuff up!

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Whitney Port Does Not Own a Mirror

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A shiny metallic top fused with a skirt resembling the lamp from "A Christmas Story" is just not working on Whitney Port.

We bet Audrina told Whitney that getup made her look skinny and stylish. Somewhere in a posed-to-look natural photo-op, Heidi and Spencer are laughing.

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Winona Shops ... Joke Writes Self

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The clerks at Marc Jacobs must have been nervous when they saw this one walk in.

That bulky jacket Winona was rocking brought back shades of Saks, the 2001 line.


Just because she left the store without any bags doesn't make it wrong.