Audrina Showers with Other Women on Her Mind
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She was trying to be clean, but our mind was filled with dirty thoughts when Audrina told us what she likes to do in the shower.
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Santa: Save Your Breath, Speidi
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Audrina's Body of Work ... Her Body!!!
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When Audrina Patridge tried on a two-piece at a Hollywood bikini store yesterday, even a seated Lauren Conrad stared in amazement at her unbelievable hotness.
Thank God pictures don't have sound!
BULLETIN: Someone Believes Speidi Wedding!
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Audrina doesn't think the unholy union of Heidi & Spencer is a fake -- and if there's something Audrina knows, it's how to spot a phony pair.
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Speidi: The Kids "Are on Their Way"
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Garner, Port -- Nailed at the Same Time
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Quentin Tarantino -- this one's for you.
Jen and Whitney got pedicures at the same salon yesterday, and foot fetishists everywhere are forever in our debt.
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Audrina's School Boy Fantasy
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Kids these days, they grow up so fast -- one minute they're wetting the bed and crying for mama, the next they're screaming "I want to f**k you" to reality stars from their school bus.
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Asses and Butt Cheeks -- The Speidi Honeymoon
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Every cheesy, phoney, douchey and dare we say -- quasi-erotic -- moment during the Heidi and Spencer "honeymoon" in Mexico was captured on film (shocking, we know).
Over 100 shots that will make you vomit in your mouth -- but resistance is futile.
What a Giant Pair of ...
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Heidi and Spencer, while on their Mexican honeymoon.
Nothing Says Forever ...
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... like a pair of wedding rings that look like they were bought at a Hot Topic in the mall.
Best of luck to you, Heidi and Spencer.
Speidi to Procreate?!
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Just what the world needs... little annoying, blonde, jobless kiddies running around.
Right after the vomit-inducing twosome returned home from their elope-a-dope in Cabo San Lucas, they confirmed the rumor -- they're going to start a family.
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Speidi's Elope-a-Dope -- For the Love of Money
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Not even marriage is sacred to self-proclaimed Jesus freak Heidi Montag -- because it looks like her "marriage" to Spencer Pratt was just an elaborate ploy to cash in.
After MonPrat "eloped" in Cabo San Lucas last week, they sold their story and photos. And the joke may be on the publications, because the "marriage" was as fake as Heidi's breasts.
Heidi's Dad Didn't Know She's a Pratt
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Yeah, right.
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, the most perniciously insincere pair of people in the Western hemisphere, didn't even tell Heidi's dad they were eloping -- so says Heidi's dad to People. A) Isn't that the definition of elopement? And B) Guess what Daddy Montag had to say about what's next?
"Then we just have to have another wedding here!"
Police Serve Spencer Over Bad Plates
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For the 99.99% of you that hate Spencer Pratt -- a small victory awaits you.
The P-hole was pulled over in West Hollywood last week and ticketed for not having front or back license plates on his car.
Unfortunately, it's a fixable ticket -- all Spence has to do is get the tags and show the right people -- but he will be charged ten bucks for the screw-up.
It may not be much, but we'll take what we can get.
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LC -- Standby for Air-head
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What if a sublebrity's name got called in an airport -– and nobody cared?
Such was Lauren Conrad's conundrum the other day at JFK, when an airline attendant called out her name to direct her to a counter ... for a standby ticket. LC was none too pleased: She "pitched a fit," a spy tells the New York Post, "and was almost driven to tears because she thought people would start talking to her and bother her."
Ah, but: "No one even cared." The end.
The Most Expensive Tow Job Ever
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First LC moves on with Brody and now this.
"Laguna Beach" tool Jason Wahler was just ordered to pay $15K in punitive damages to the tow truck driver he slapped back in 2006.
A jury decided yesterday Wahler had to pay $5,000 in actual damages, resulting in a total of 20 grand -- all for getting slap happy with the help.
Next time, Jason should just man up and fix his own ride.