The Kardashians

The Kris Jenner media train is plowing right through NBC and CBS -- Kim Kardashian's mom has just been tapped to guest co-host "The Today Show" AND "The Talk."

Jenner will reportedly fill-in for Sharon Osbourne on "The Talk" in September ... and with all the cuts producers have made on that show recently, it wouldn't be shocking if she got a permanent offer.

With their media spectacle wedding over, newlyweds Kim Kardashian and a shirtless Kris Humphries enjoyed their honeymoon by canoodling on top of each other at their hotel in Italy on Wednesday.

They are definitely taking in the sights.

While Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries were busy getting married ... TV producers were hard at work behind the scenes SCRIPTING a special moment between Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick ... and it was all caught on tape.

Listen to the walkie-talkie chatter between producers behind the scenes, choreographing the moment Scott and Kourtney decide to bring up the possibility of getting married themselves.

Sounds like K and S are going to go along with the plan to get hitched too ... because when production was wrapping on Kim's big day, one of the lead producers tells the crew, "See you at Kourtney's wedding."

Kris Humphries wasn't the only person who wanted to consummate his marriage to Kim Kardashian this weekend, 'cause at the same time ... MILLIONS of "fans" were flooding the official website for Kim's XXX tape.

TMZ has learned ... roughly 2 MILLION people visited KimKsuperstar.com between Friday and Sunday night ... a HUGE boost from the average weekend traffic.

In fact, the site only averages 300k unique visitors PER MONTH -- so it seems all the fanfare from the wedding led to some serious handfare across the planet.

And get this laddies -- according to Google Trends, America did NOT lead the pack in Internet searches for "Kim Kardashian Sex Tape" ... that honor went to Ireland.

Kim Kardashian's wedding bulldozed its way through Santa Barbara last weekend -- and one of its victims ... a wedding full of completely nice, innocent, non-Hollywood people.

As it turns out, the Biltmore Four Seasons Resort wasn't just hosting guests for the Kardashian-Humphries wedding -- it also put up the kind folks attending the nuptials for a gentleman named Matt Hornbuckle and his now-wife Christy Kirschenmann.

The Hornbuckle-Kirschenmann wedding rehearsal took place on Friday -- but when guests rolled up to the hotel bar afterwards for a round of cold ones, they were TURNED AWAY.

Inside sources tell TMZ, the bar had been shut down to make room for the media covering the Kardashian wedding nearby.

Kim Kardashian and her wedding posse of 460 were too loud for the neighbors ... law enforcement tells us the residents were so pissed off over the noise, they called the cops.

We're told several neighbors reached their limit at 11:30 PM and called the Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Department. Deputies paid a visit to the ritzy estate where Kim's bash was in full gear, and asked them to turn the music down, which they promptly did.

A Sheriff's official tells TMZ ... none of the neighbors wanted to sign an official complaint so no one was cited.

Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian emerged from their Montecito hotel this afternoon, their first time being spotted as husband and wife.

And certainly not the last.

It's a big moment of any wedding -- the bride being walked down the aisle -- and here's the first photo of that moment from the big Kim Kardashian wedding ... shot from thousands of feet in the air and through a tent.

Judging from the menu above, the guests at Kim Kardashian's wedding dined on a fine meal last night -- but the question is ...

They may look like tiny ants -- rich, rich tiny ants -- but you're looking at helicopter video of the wedding reception yesterday for Kim Kardashian and Kris Humprhies.

Well, we hate to break the news ... but it's official -- Kris Humphries is off the market.

Kris exchanged vows yesterday in Montecito, CA with his blushing bride, Kim Kardashian (maybe ya heard of her?)

The star-studded guest list included the likes of Ryan Seacrest and his girlfriend Julianne Hough, "Dancing With the Stars" pro Mark Ballas and his date Cheryl Burke, Brody Jenner and his girlfriend Avril Lavigne, dress designer Vera Wang, Demi Lovato, Ciara, NBA star Carmelo Anthony and La La Vasquez and the Lohans ... Dina, Ali and Lindsay.

Kim's older sisters Kourtney and Khloe served as maids of honor, while younger sisters Kylie and Kendall were bridesmaids. The ring bearer was Kim's nephew, Mason Disick, who carried wedding bands designed by Lorraine Schwartz, who also designed the 20.5-carat engagement ring.

Bruce Jenner walked Kim down the aisle.

Kris wore a tailor-made white tuxedo jacket with black pants and a white bow tie by Ermenegildo Zegna. He changed into a traditional black tux for the reception.

The dinner was catered by Wolfgang Puck and the bride and groom were introduced and then serenaded by Robin Thicke.

Kim Kardashian made a brief appearance outside her hotel this afternoon -- talking to sister Kourtney as she gets ready to walk down the aisle.

It's nice they were able to share an intimate moment before things get crazy.

Lindsay Lohan arrived at a hotel in Santa Barbara in the wee hours of the morning as she gets ready to attend to the Kim Kardashian wedding today.

Sources close to Lindsay tell us the reason why she showed up to the hotel at 2:30 AM ... her mom Dina arrived on a late flight from NYC.

Kim Kardashian doesn't do anything for free (get your mind out of the gutter) so it only figures her wedding day would be a HUGE pay day for Kim K.

People magazine won the bidding war for exclusive wedding day photos, says The Hollywood Reporter, to the tune of $1.5 MILLION.

The trade says Kim and hubby-to-be Kris Humphries also raked in $300,000 for the engagement announcement back in May and $100,000 from OK! mag for bridal shower pics.

We thought weddings were supposed to cost money?

The tents are up ... the grass is cut ... and the pool has been transformed into a makeshift stage -- all in preparation for Kim Kardashian's MEGA-WEDDING this weekend.

Everything appears ready to go at the $29 million estate in Montecito, CA where Kim and Kris Humphries will take the plunge this weekend.

As we previously reported, the majority of the wedding festivities will go down underneath the tent in an effort to thwart the paparazzi -- because the Kardashians don't want the footage to leak out before their special airs on TV.