ShamWow Pitchman Beats Hooker to the Punch
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The pitchman for the super absorbent ShamWow has been arrested for not having good clean fun ... unless you consider hiring a hooker who almost bites your tongue off fun.
Vince Shlomi was arrested in Miami Beach last month after cops say he allegedly hired a hooker, whom he took back to his hotel. According to the arrest affidavit, obtained by The Smoking Gun, Shlomi began kissing the hooker when she allegedly "bit his tongue and would not let go."
According to cops, Shlomi then punched the prostitute several times until she released his tongue. Both the prostitute and Shlomi were arrested for felony aggravated battery.
Excuse us for living, but it seems justified to punch a hooker when she bites your tongue. Apparently, prosecutors agreed, because they declined to prosecute either one.
Elvis Presley Flips the Dead Bird for 20 Grand
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It's just a little piece of stationary on which Elvis Presley sloppily wrote a poem about the unnecessary slaughter of a cute little birdie -- and it just sold for a whopping $20,035.20 at an auction.
If you think that's a lot, the jumpsuit he wore at Madison Square Garden went for $212,588.40 at the same gottahaverockandroll.com auction.
The King stay the King ...
Vanilla Ice's Career Up in Smoke
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He hasn't had a mainstream album in 18 years, but yesterday in Hollywood, Vanilla Ice showed off his biggest hit yet ...
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Paul Stanley Won't Poop on a Tour Bus...
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... because KISS has their own frickin' private jet!
It's amazing what rockstars are willing to reveal about themselves.
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James Gandolfini La Cosa Vespa
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He's a certified badass -- and here's even more proof: James Gandolfini drives the ultimate ass kicker's vehicle ... a Vespa?
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Peyton Manning Goofiest Country Singer Ever
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Just because you play for a team called the Colts doesn't make you a country singer -- but Peyton Manning tried anyway.
Peyton -- dressed in sensible pair of khakis and a polo shirt -- got a drunken crowd roaring at a bar in Key West, as he and Kenny Chesney busted out a version of "You Never Even Called Me By My Name" by David Allen Coe.
The singing wasn't horrible -- but the faces he makes are priceless.
Wesley Snipes True Bromance
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He ain't in prison yet, but Wesley Snipes is already gettin' a head start on the man-on-man action.
Snipes bro'd down this weekend outside My House -- a club that's bound to be much more fun than the big house.
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M.I.A's Real (Crazy) Baby Name
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We got our hands on singer M.I.A's new baby's birth certificate and, as she disputed on her blog, the baby's name is not Ickitt. That's just ridiculous, who in their right mind would name their baby that? The real name happens to be Ikhyd.
According to the document, Mathangi Maya Arulpragasam officially named her son Ikhyd Edgar Arular Bronfman, common spelling.
Another interesting fact -- baby faced M.I.A's birth date is listed as 7/18/75 which makes her real age 33.
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Justin & Jessica Where's the Funeral?
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Decked out in "his & hers" mourning attire, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel solidified their position as Mastro's "Most Morose Couple."
These two make Jessica Alba look like Richard Simmons.
Kate Moss Approached with Crack!
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If losing a paparazzi foot race to Kate Moss wasn't enough to get our photog to join a gym, the end result should be -- check out this lovely "coin-slot" shot from behind the group.
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'Runway' Star Jailed for Cat-astrophic Assault
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One of the most memorable -- and hated -- finalists from "Project Runway" is behind bars right now for allegedly fashioning a weapon out of a living, breathing, meowing cat ... and firing it at her ex-fiance!
Kenley Collins -- the trash-talking, third place loser from P.R. Season 5 -- was arrested in a Brooklyn home early yesterday morning, after the D.A. claims she attacked her sleeping ex-fiance with anything she could get her hands on -- including a cat, a laptop, several apples and finally ... water. It's like a design challenge turned violent!
It's unclear what started the fight, but according to legal papers Kenley told her ex, "You're lucky ... it could've been a lot worse."
Kenley was arrested and charged with six crimes -- including 2nd degree assault, 3rd degree assault and criminal possession of a weapon in the 4th degree.
No word on when Kenley is set to be released from jail.
Sarah Silverman One Horny Broad
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One annoyingly persistent autograph hunter learned a valuable lesson last night: You mess with the Silverman, you get the horn.
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Billy Zane Cruiser Extraordinaire
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You are about to learn something Billy Zane. In an unrelated matter, you are also about to learn about riding a bicycle while intoxicated.
We shot video of B.Z. leaving Villa last night in West Hollywood on his tricked-out bike -- little horn and all. Billy looks totally sober, but it got us thinking ... could a celeb, or you for that matter, dodge a DUI by jumping on a Schwinn rather than hopping in a BMW? The answer: Nope.
We checked with two police departments. In California, at least, there's actually a crime -- Driving Under the Influence on a Bicycle. It's a misdemeanor, cops can demand you take a field sobriety or blood alcohol test, and you can be arrested and jailed.
Still, it's a lot safer than driving a motor home ... wasted.
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Miranda Kerr: Victoria Needs Secret
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Strong enough for a man, but not made for a supermodel.
Miranda Kerr is so hot even she can't take it. Good thing there's some perfume in her hand.
Jane Fonda Cops a 'Tude -- Feel the Burn!
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There are many words we could use to describe 71-year-old Jane Fonda's 'tude last night -- but she's a legend, so we're going with "Sassy." And man do we love her for it.
Daniel Craig No Egg Rolls for You
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If Daniel Craig thought he could just waltz his way into crowded Mr. Chow last night and star-power his way into a table -- dude thought wrong.
Moments after 007 strolled into the restaurant, Craig and his woman pulled an about-face and retreated back to the car. On his way out, Craig wouldn't confirm the rejection, but soon after David Spade and Nicolette Sheridan scored a table with no problem.
For the record Daniel Craig is an A-list actor. David Spade has a bob.