Prez Election 2008

Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John McCain each taped a short video that will be played during tonight's show. It's hard to figure out which one comes across more out of touch -- Hillary (calling herself "Hill-Rod"), Barack ("Can you smell what Barack is cooking!") or McCain (calling his backers "McCainiacs").

If Hillary takes on The Undertaker, our money's on Hil.

During a speech in North Carolina last night, Obama "brushed the dirt off his shoulders," you know -- like the Jay-Z song -- in response to all the mudslinging that's been going on in the race to the White House.

He's got 99 problems but a Clinton ain't one.

We're told that the intern in question has been "swiftly dealt with" and that the site's already been taken down. Apparently, McCain's peeps say, the web intern saw fit to "add Rachael Ray to our policy team" (so droll, those McCainites) and they apologize to the Food Network for the recipe-filching, as first observed by the Huffington Post.

The WWE has invited Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton to wrestle away their woes on "Monday Night Raw." The wrestling corporation wants to see the two candidates clothesline their way to the presidency.

It would be a close match -- Barack looks like he can do a mean chokehold, but Hillary might get sneaky and tag Bill in for a double team!

Is Brad Pitt's 9th cousin to blame for Oprah's decline?

Recent polls are showing that the empress of daytime's Obama endorsement have been good for him, but totally effed her up!

A poll taken in February of last year, prior to the Big O's decision to back her home state Senator, found that 74% of Americans had a favorable view of the talk show queen. Another poll taken several months after her endorsement, show Oprah's rating to have plunged to 61%.

Oprah's big give indeed.

Wonder if Angie's in town for a family reunion with Brad Pitt's 9th cousin (Barack) and her 9th cousin (Hillary)?

One of them went all the way to the top touring the country with her family.

We're just sayin'!

Both candidates picked North Carolina (who got thrashed by Kansas last night) to win it all -- and neither had Memphis (who stomped UCLA) making it to the big game.

The future looks grim for the 'ole U.S. of A.

Bill and Hill could have been just another couple of retired Prez old farts, figuring out how they would pay their $2 million legal bill for that ... Monica thing.

Turns out, a little scandal pays off in the, er, end. Thanks in part to books about their lives, Billary just reported $109 million in income over the last seven years.

As she pulled up to the Wilshire Theater last night for an event, a Secret Service agent jumped out of the SUV's hatchback. Click it ... or ticket!

There may be something more dangerous to Barack Obama than pastor Rev. Wright -- his nasty smoking habit!

While Barack allegedly quit smoking back in February 2007, ABC News Correspondent Jake Tapper says he ran into the Illinois senator in August when he "reeked of cigarettes." Obama did inhale! Obama even admitted he "fell off the wagon" on last night's "Hardball." Maybe LiLo can lend Barack some of her Ariva.

If BO wants to stay off the cancer sticks, he should just take his own advice and say: Yes We Can!

Joe Scarborough asked McCain what he thought of the fact that Heidi Montag, lame-ass "Hills" star, endorsed him. McCain ever-so-not cleverly evaded the question, saying Heidi was a "very talented actress." Joe had just launched into one of the hard-hitting attacks he's famous for, accusing him of not being a fan of "The Hills."

Clearly embarrassed -- though it completely escaped Joe -- McCain then volunteered he had also received endorsements from Clint Eastwood, Sly Stallone and Jon Voight. Clearly those are meaningful endorsements, because everyone wants Rambotox's choice as the next leader of the free world.

McCain didn't have much to say -- but his bodyguards did, rushing the photog off-camera and threateningly asking why he'd ever ask a question like that . It's like someone asked him about bathrooms and airports! Why is Heidi such a scandal? Is it too hot for McCain to address? We're just sayin'.....

McCain told Time that he is "honored to have Heidi [Montag]'s support," and that he never misses an episode of "The Hills," especially "since the new season started."

Ok, now that is the guy we don't want answering the phone at 3:00 AM.