Tanning Mom will never ever EVER sully the hallowed pages of Playboy ... despite desperately wanting to strip naked for the venerable magazine -- this according to Playboy sources.

As we reported, 44-year-old Patricia Krentcil would happily accept an invitation to bare her leathery hide for Playboy ... that is, if the nudie mag offered.

But Playboy sources tell TMZ, that will never happen in a million kajillion bazillion years.

One source says, “It wouldn’t even be considered” -- Hef wouldn’t let TM pose in the magazine or ANY Playboy outlet. Simply put -- Tanning Mom just isn't Playboy material.

You don't say.


12:14 PM PDT -- Playboy is now going on the record ... telling TMZ, "It would definitely never happen."

Name: Tanning Mom ... aka Patricia Krentcil
Measurements: Don't wanna think about it
Turn Ons: UV Rays, carcinoma, cameras
Turn Offs: The movie "Powder" ... the bad guy in "Da Vinci Code"

Yes, Tanning Mom says she's willing to flaunt her sizzlin' hot body for Playboy ... if only they would ask. She's even been practicing her sexy poses.

But if a clothed Tanning Mom is more your speed ... you're in luck -- TM says she's been approached by multiple people interested in featuring her on a reality show.

Still, we gotta ask ...

The "American Idol" finalists better watch their step in their Hollywood mansion -- because no matter where they go ... someone has probably already had dirty sex there ... this according to two swingers who used to live in the house.

TMZ broke the story ... Idol’s current mansion was last occupied by a bunch of sex-crazed swingers for Playboy TV's racy reality show "Swing" ... about a random group of live-in swingers and their X-rated sexcapades.

Now former Swing-mates Michael and Holli tell us -- NOTHING in the finalists' current digs was off limits for boning ... especially not the Idol finalists’ music room, where the singers practice.

According to Michael and Holli, the room was a sex mecca -- lined wall-to-wall with mattresses. Castmates even called it the Boom Boom Room.

But that's not all -- according to the swinger duo, the mansion's former swinger occupants did it in the shower, on the floor, on ALL the countertops, outside, and their personal favorite ... in the elevator.

The one exception: Michael and Holli insist the jacuzzi was a self-imposed no-bone zone ... for hygiene's sake. We still recommend wearing shower shoes.

The "American Idol" kids are following in the footsteps of orgy-lovin, sex-crazed, swingers -- TMZ has learned -- because the mansion they just moved in to was previously used for PORN!

Sources tell TMZ, the new digs currently housing the top 9 finalists on ‘Idol’ is the same place Playboy TV shot season 2 of its racy sex show "Swing."

For those you who haven’t seen it ... "Swing" is a show about couples who move into a house with the sole purpose of “living out their erotic curiosities” through swinging ... i.e one big fat excuse for banging each other as often as possible.



As for the specs -- the former sex den is a 10-bdrm, 16-bath, 16,000 sq. ft swingers dream ... now housing the squeaky clean -- soon to be Disney World attraction -- "Idol" finalists.

Note to the contestants -- bleach is your friend.

Hugh Hefner's son Marston has been sentenced to a 52-week domestic violence program after allegedly beating his Playmate girlfriend Claire Sinclair last month.

Marston was charged with corporal injury on a spouse or cohabitant after the February 12th incident -- when he allegedly attacked Claire at the couple's Pasadena apartment, bruising her up and damaging her laptop. He pled "no contest" today.

Marston was charged with vandalism over the laptop -- but that count was dismissed.

The judge also ordered Marston to stay away from Claire for the next 3 years.

The 911 domestic violence call that sent cops scrambling to Lane Garrison's apartment was triggered by a dispute between Lane and his Playboy Playmate girlfriend over who got invited to a funeral ... TMZ has learned.

As we first reported, Beverly Hills police went to Lane's house Monday night after someone in the apartment reported the incident. No one was arrested, but Lane was taken to the hospital for an unrelated medical issue.

We've now learned ... Lane's girlfriend, Ashley Mattingly, was upset that Lane was invited to her ex-boyfriend's funeral earlier in the day but she was not. It is unclear why the family of Craig Rogers made Ashley persona non grata, but we're told it triggered a heated argument between Ashley and Lane.

Ashley -- who is up for Playmate of the Year -- felt Lane should not have gone to the funeral because it showed disrespect for her.

As for the hospital visit ... sources tell us when cops arrived, Lane had a panic attack, so he was taken to the emergency room and released shortly after.

As for why he had the panic attack, we're told Lane has been vigilant about keeping his nose clean after getting released from prison in a manslaughter case. He was driving under the influence when his car crashed and killed a 17-year-old high school student who was a passenger in the car.

We're told no one was injured during the argument between Lane and Ashley. If cops had seen any trace of injury, an arrest would have been made.

Hugh Hefner's son Marston Hefner has officially been charged with roughing up his Playmate girlfriend ... and now faces over a year in jail -- this according to the Pasadena City Attorney.

TMZ broke the story ... Marston was arrested earlier this month after allegedly attacking Playmate of the Year Claire Sinclair inside the couple's Pasadena apartment.

A rep for the Pasadena City Attorney's office tells us, Marston was charged yesterday with one count of inflicting corporal injury on a spouse or cohabitant.

We're told Marston has also been charged with vandalism -- after he allegedly damaged Claire's lap top during the heated argument.

If convicted on both counts, Marston faces a year-and-a-half behind bars.

It could have been awkward -- Hugh Hefner coming face-to-face with Crystal Harris for the first time since she canceled their wedding plans -- but it was quick and friendly ... sources tell TMZ.

As you'll recall, the 25-year-old Harris broke off her engagement to the 85-year-old Hef last June, just five days before they were set to walk down the aisle. 

According to our sources, a friend of Crystal's was invited to the Playboy Mansion last night and asked Crystal to tag along. Not wanting to create a scene, we're told Crystal phoned ahead to make sure it was all right ... and Hef said he would love to see her. 

Our sources say the meeting was brief -- a quick and friendly hello, not much more.

Maybe it is possible to be friends with your ex.

The Playmate who was allegedly kicked and beaten by Hugh Hefner's son Marston is disassociating herself from Playboy ... at least for the foreseeable future -- TMZ has learned.

Sources close to 20-year-old Claire Sinclair tell us, the model has canceled all future Playboy-related appearances, events, and photoshoots pending the outcome of her domestic violence case with Marston.

Claire has even lawyered up with powerhouse attorney Keith Davidson -- who tells us, "We are taking this matter extremely seriously and we are completing a thorough investigation into this situation."

TMZ broke the story ... 21-year-old Marston was arrested Sunday night after allegedly kicking and punching Sinclair during an argument in their Pasadena, CA apartment.

Sinclair said she wouldn't press charges against him if he gave a public apology -- and got psychiatric help. The incident is currently under investigation.

You're looking at the bruising damage 2011 Playmate of the Year Claire Sinclair claims she suffered at the hands of Hugh Hefner's son during a violent rampage this weekend.

TMZ broke the story ... 21-year-old Marston Hefner was arrested Sunday night after allegedly kicking and punching Sinclair during an argument in their Pasadena, CA apartment.

Now, 20-year-old Sinclair tells us ... the Playboy heir has physically abused her on SEVERAL OCCASIONS ... but she's still willing to forgive the guy.

"I don't condone domestic violence, but if one ounce of good can come from this bad experience, then I can live with it and move on" ... Claire says.

"That is why I will not press charges against Marston Hefner if he keeps his word to give a public apology for physically abusing me on several occasions, and seeks psychiatric help for his anger issues."

Hugh also released a comment on the situation ... saying, "If they care about each other, they'll patch it up." 

So, we gotta ask ...

Playmate Claire Sinclair has obtained an emergency restraining order against Hugh Hefner's son Marston Hefner -- after he allegedly beat her up last night during a heated argument.

Claire just left the Pasadena Police Department, where officers interviewed her about the incident -- and we're told police granted a 3-day stay-away order against Marston to give Claire time to move her stuff out of his place.

In the video, Claire says it's a 5-day restraining order -- but law enforcement sources tell us, it's just 3.

Claire tells TMZ, she plans to move out asap -- but if she needs more time ... she'll have to go to court to extend the protective order. 

Claire says she called Hugh after the incident who expressed sympathy -- claiming he was very disappointed by the situation.

TMZ broke the story ... Marston was arrested around 11:15 PM last night for misdemeanor domestic violence after police responded to a 911 call from Sinclair's family -- and observed several injuries on the model's body.

Marston -- who has been dating Sinclair on-and-off since August 2010 -- admitted the two had gotten into an argument, but didn't cop to hitting her. He has since been released on $20,000 bail.