Pets

Sparing no expense, the 34-year-old actress gave her pup a bottle of Smart Water in L.A. on Thursday.

In the dog's defense, puppy Pilates can be so dehydrating.

Criss Angel is in the middle of a serious hostage situation -- and the hostage is a cute little kitty cat.

The Vegas magician is accused of taking a fluffy lil' feline belonging to fellow Vegas showman Jeff Beacher -- and now Beacher is getting his lawyers involved in an attempt to get his pet back.

In a strongly-worded letter fired off to Angel, Beacher accuses Angel of jacking the animal from a friend who was supposed to be watching the cat while Beacher mourned the death of his father.

Beacher claims Angel not only refuses to give it back -- but worse yet, he says the "Mindfreak" taunted him about the cat on the phone with comments like, "I took your cat ... he lives with me now ... the cat no longer likes you ... the cat and I have become close friends."

Now Beacher demands the safe return of the cat -- plus "the value of the use of his cat during the period of detention."

Don't worry, Tiger Girl, aka Avery, is safe -- she's actually protected by a thick pane of glass ... and her nerves of steel.

The National Geographic Channel star canoodled with Brutus, an 800 lb grizzly bear he raised since birth, and even had him serve as best man at his wedding last year. BTW, he married actress Missi Pyle.

Sometimes a dog isn't man's best friend.

First A-Roid ... then Manny ... now Queen Elizabeth herself has been injected into a scandal involving a performance enhancing substance.

It's all over a racehorse owned by the Queen -- officials in England claim the horse, named Moonlit Path, tested positive for a banned substance after a race in March. But here's the catch: Moonlit Path didn't even win the race -- it finished 6th.

The Queen's peeps have already come up with an excuse, claiming Moonlit Path only got the prohibited acid -- which is also used to treat excessive bleeding -- in the best interests of the "horse's welfare."

You're looking at an official photo of some dumbass named Sony Dong who tried to smuggle 14 songbirds into LAX on a commercial flight from Vietnam. Feds moved in on the guy when they noticed bird feathers and droppings on his socks. When they rolled up his pant legs, feds could barely believe what they saw...

But here's where it gets really sad -- feds had been tracking the guy since December, when they found an abandoned suitcase at LAX, checked by Dong, which contained 18 birds ... five of which were dead.

When they saw that Dong was scheduled to travel to Vietnam in April, they waited for him when he got off the plane -- and swooped in for the bust.

Well kids, if you see BJ running through the street in front of a moving vehicle again, DO NOT follow her example.

Miranda Lambert is set to perform tomorrow at the four day event in Stillwater -- where there will be enough beer, music and fried bull balls to last you a lifetime.

No word if there are any sack races at the event.

But most emasculating of all: Being in a picture with Chace Crawford.

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Good work, Matt.

Or maybe BJ just doesn't recognize McConaughey with his shirt on.

Sorry zoo critters, the recession spares no one.

Several foxes, bats, antelope, deer and other animals are looking for work -- after the economy forced the Bronx Zoo to downsize.

The Bronx Zoo is looking to close a $15 million budget shortfall, and this was the only way.

The animals won't be thrown out on the street, officials say they'll have to ship them to various zoos around the country.

If anyone ever needed a gazelle -- now's the time to buy!