Schwarzenegger Scandal

People who live next door to Patty and her son tell us, the boy "is the type of kid you just want to be around. He is so sweet, funny, and handsome."

But that's not it -- we're also told he is extremely well-mannered and smart, loves sports, and is even involved in door-to-door fund-raising for local charities.

And get this ... the two kids were born less than a WEEK APART -- Maria's son Christopher was born on September 27, 1997 ... and Mildred's love child was born on October 2, 1997.

Apparently Mildred "Patty" Baena knew the sex of the baby because the color scheme at the shower was blue.

Among the 15 guests at Patty's home ... Alicia, a cook who worked for Arnold and Maria. She's wearing gray sweatpants.

Among the gifts for Patty -- who was 8 months pregnant at the time -- a baby stroller.

We're told Arnold and Maria sent lots of gifts for the baby.

As Arnold Schwarzenegger's baby drama exploded ... Maria Shriver was in Chicago with Oprah Winfrey for the taping of her farewell show -- and together they took a blatant shot at Arnold ... to the delight of 20,000 fans.

Maria walked on the United Center stage tonight with Oprah's bff Gayle King -- and declared O had always given her "love support, wisdom, and most of all the truth."

Oprah backed that up by emphasizing, "THE TRUTH!" Our spies say everyone in the arena understood it was a message to Arnold -- and the place exploded with applause.

Other guests at the show -- Aretha Franklin, Halle Berry, Simon Cowell, and Jerry Seinfeld ... and Usher closed the show as confetti rained down on the crowd.

Not shockingly, we're told Chi-town hero Michael Jordan got the biggest ovation of any of Oprah's guests.

Sources say Maria was distraught after learning Arnold pulled a John Edwards. The baby mama worked for the family for two decades, retired and received a severance package, according to the L.A. Times.

The baby was born more than a decade ago, but until recently Maria thought the father was the woman's husband at the time.

Schwarzenegger told The Times, "After leaving the governor's office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago. I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry."

TMZ heard about the baby 5 days ago, but everyone in the Schwarzenegger camp was denying it. But sources told us Maria was "completely distraught" yet determined to move on with her life. She has not pulled the trigger to end her marriage on the legal side, but she has been working with a very powerful financial adviser who has been helping her position herself for a divorce.

We believe -- though have not confirmed -- there is a prenup, but the couple has been together so long the effectiveness of it is problematic.

UPDATE: Maria released a statement saying, "This is a painful and heartbreaking time. As a mother, my concern is for the children."

She continued, "I ask for compassion, respect and privacy as my children and I try to rebuild our lives and heal. I will have no further comment."

Sources tell TMZ ... Oprah met with Maria last week, trying to convince her to become a talk show host on Oprah's OWN Network. We've also learned Maria is going to be a guest on Oprah's final show.

Arnold and Maria are known to attend St. Monica's Catholic Church in Santa Monica, CA every Sunday. According to our spies, they both showed up this afternoon ... but they arrived separately.

They did such a good job, she told the ladies, "I'll be back." *rimshot!

We spotted Maria on her way out, and asked her if she was open to taking Arnold back ...

Shriver's top said, "Change the world with your courage, wisdom and strength" -- while her friend sported the less wordy ... yet equally preachy, "Karma."

We're told Arnold finally gets it ... that Maria couldn't stand the fact that he was ignoring her and her needs. And, we're told, Arnold has made some headway, making Maria "ambivalent" at times. One source very familiar with the couple says, "Arnold has done a 180. He's been really sweet to her since all this went down."

Notably, they recently spent an evening at an L.A. area hotel for a special occasion. Maria is confessing to friends ... Arnold has emotional power over her, but as we first reported, she's been "miserable" for several years.

We're told Maria has been unhappy with Arnold for years ... and first planned to split with him back in 2009 ... but her mother passed away and Maria decided to hold off.

Then, we're told, Maria wanted to try to break it off again in January 2011 ... but her father died ... once again putting the split on hold.

Our source tells us Maria is fed up with Arnold's infidelities ... coupled with the fact he's been "impossible" to live with. We're told Maria's kids acknowledge the issues -- and have pushed their mother to call off the marriage.

People who have spoken with Maria tell us ... despite her STRONG public persona, Maria has become a "shell of the woman" she appears to be because she is "terrified" of Arnold ... but in an emotional, not a physical way.

However, once Maria finally decided to separate from Arnold -- and moved into a fancy Beverly Hills hotel -- we're told Arnold pulled a 180 ... and he's been "working extremely hard" to win her back. As one source says, "He could not be sweeter now that she's left him."

To make things even more complicated, Arnold and Maria have been spending LOTS of time together lately ... hanging out during Easter, Mother's Day and even their 25th anniversary ... which they celebrated together at an expensive hotel.

A source close to the couple tells us ... despite their differences, Arnold and Maria have "serious chemistry between them" ... which is why she has such ambivalence about the break-up.

We're told Maria moved out of the couple's L.A. mansion months ago. Sources tell us she's been extremely unhappy in her marriage for years, complaining about Arnold's out of control ego, as well as his womanizing.

We're also told Maria feels Arnold has ignored her for years and she's felt terribly unappreciated.

Sources say the couple has spent "very little time together" for several years. Maria was frequently absent from Sacramento while Arnold was Governor.

The situation got worse once Arnold left office and decided he wanted to resurrect his movie career. Maria felt Arnold was becoming more erratic -- more "unstable."

But Arnold WAS wearing his ring on Sunday ... the day before the couple announced their split.

Meanwhile, Maria Shriver has been ringless since mid-March ... right after Maria posted a cryptic video on YouTube asking her fans for advice on how to "transition" into the next phase of her life.

The couple released a joint statement saying, "After a great deal of thought, reflection, discussion and prayer, we came to this decision together. At this time, we are living apart while we work on the future of our relationship."

The statement continues, "We are continuing to parent our four children together. They are the light and center of both of our lives."

The couple adds, "We consider this a private matter and neither we nor any of our friends or family will have further comment."

63-year-old Arnold and 55-year-old Maria met in 1977 when Tom Brokaw introduced them at a charity event. They were married in 1986.