The Kardashians

A Florida man has filed criminal charges against his girlfriend for allegedly breaking his nose after a fight over Kim Kardashian and porn. Sounds reasonable.

The dude was sitting at home, minding his own business and watching his favorite show, "Keeping Up with the Kardashians." Normally, that would trigger a 5150 hold, but in this case police responded because his girlfriend got so jealous over his infatuation with KK and pornography, she threw a vase which hit him right in the schnoz, breaking it.

Maybe not the best idea for a gal on 36-month probation for a DUI.

Maybe it was having to sit through Kim's "performance" in "Disaster Movie," but Bush was in no mood to deal with all the crap that comes along with dating a Kardashian as they left the theater last night.

Kim -- she loved it.

We're told that the doctors (yes, plural) decided to glue rather than suture the cut on Kim K's foot ... so the wound couldn't have been that deep. BTW, it's surgical glue that holds the wound together.

We're told Kim wanted the glue because stitches take too long to heal and it would interfere with her mambo.

The new season of "Dancing With the Stars" may have already lost its first competitor -- and they haven't even announced the official cast yet.

Kim Kardashian -- who is scheduled to be on the show this season -- badly cut her foot in her hotel room late Sunday night. We're told she sliced her foot open on a glass coffee table and was rushed to New York Presbyterian Hospital. No word on how many stitches she needed, but a source tells TMZ there was "so much blood, it looked like a murder scene."

Yes, video can be deceiving. Kim Kardashian had a 911 emergency over the weekend when she performed in Vegas with the Pussycat Dolls. Seems part of her ass disappeared.

Our spies tell us hours before going on stage, she was fitted for her costume but it was too big ... in the butt Bob. Kim K lost weight in all the wrong places. She got cinched up with her getup and went on stage.

Caution: Things really may appear larger than they really are, then again, she does have a big ass.

Giving us all another reason to enjoy laughter.

It takes a serious force of nature to take down a booty like that.

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We're told reports that Kim is pulling diva moves and getting ignored by Reggie down at the Saints' training camp just ain't so. Our spies say Kim was cheering for her muscle man during practice, but Reggie couldn't hear her because everyone else was screaming too. We're told Kim has also ingratiated herself with all the other players' wives and after one of the games, she and Reggie even treated everyone to a screening of "The Dark Knight."

Sorry haters, but Kim is a team player.

Kim K. and her floral muumuu watched Reggie Bush work up a sweat at Saints training camp in Jackson, Miss. this weekend, where we're told she stood near the field waving and yelling for Reggie -- but he didn't even acknowledge she was there.

Fitting with her fast food persona, she went straight for a Dog on a Stick. Luckily, a scrawny TMZ producer was there to snap a photo of Khloe chomping down on a frank. Unfortunately, he also got caught and was a little worried Khloe would topple him.

Kim Kardashian swallowed up an ice cream cone while out in Bev Hills on Wednesday.

This won't stop Reggie Bush from tackling her tight end.

It's a sad day when Khloe realizes they should make t-shirts so people can tell the difference between her and her other other Kardashian sister, Kourtney.

But Alpha-K Kim tells TMZ she's delighted that lil' Rob is taking the next step with Adrienne Bailon, who also happens to be the oldest Cheetah Girl: "Adrienne has become one of my closest friends! I love her like a sister! The whole family has fallen in love with her too!"

As for buzz that Rob and his pussycat doll are married, we're told -- not true.

Shanna Moakler just issued the following statement in response to Kim K's "apology":

"I have for some time now avoided Kim Kardashian at all costs. I've avoided events, parties etc. in order to not see her.

"Quite some time ago I received emails from her mobile device of VERY inappropriate conduct between herself and my husband at the time, that were NOT at all "friendly" and very much "romantically" inclined. I spoke to Kim Kardashian, asking her to please stay away from my family as we are trying to heal after a very trying time, she agreed and but failed to do so.

"If I had known Ms. Kardashian was going to be at the BBQ in Malibu I wouldn't have gone. One day women will realize when you destroy families there will be angry and hurt ex-wives to deal with. I still have these emails and I won't release them as not to embarrass my ex and my family any further.

I find it sad that these types of events take center stage over the other positive things that I do in my work and life but I will not ever stop being brutally honest and staying true to myself. Not even for Hollywood."