Celebrity Butts

One thing you can say about Amber Rose ... she's a crack jetskier.

Amber made waves Monday as she traversed South Beach in all her glory.

Amber Rose ... gluteus to the maximus.

R. Kelly's mind ain't telling him no ... because his body likes cake -- and for the singer's birthday, he got a special double decker ... courtesy of a real bad girl.

Kelly's friends hooked him up with a fake cake for his birthday party Thursday night at Time restaurant in Atlanta ... but the kicker was "Bad Girls Club" star Sarah Oliver who was waiting inside.

It's confirmed ... Kim Kardashian isn't a terrorist ... but TSA just got all up in that bitch just to make sure.

Kim's five-alarm booty must have tripped the sensors Wednesday at a LAX security checkpoint ... she got the royal pat down by a female TSA officer while an annoyed Kanye West looked on.

It's unclear how long it took or what prompted it, but one thing we know for sure ... nothing fell between the cracks in this search.

Australian hurlder Michelle Jenneke -- the woman who's cute jiggly warm up dance captured the hearts of pervs everywhere -- is turning it up a notch ... in a steamy new video for WorldstarHipHop.

Here's what you need to know:

Michelle runs bleachers ... in booty shorts.

Michelle trains ... in booty shorts.

Michelle hangs out in a bikini (which are booty oriented by default)

Michelle does her famous warm up dance, then hurdles, in shorts that prominently display -- you guessed it -- her booty.

The final scene ... a group of black guys applaud (we're not making this up).

Enjoy.

Tyrese has some amazing friends ... because his pal Snoop Dogg surprised the "Fast and the Furious" star on his birthday ... with a face full of strippers!

It all went down in Burbank this week during a video shoot for Tyrese's song, "Dumb S**t."

Snoop -- who is featured on the track -- hatched a plan to bring in some exotic dancers and surprise Tyrese for his 36th birthday with a cake (the kind you eat ... with frosting).

Mark Wahlberg was caught swimming with a floatie this week in Barbados ... and by that, we mean his wife Rhea Durham's beautiful ass.

Kourtney Kardashian had the stomach to pose naked for Dujuor magazine.

Kourtney -- who is ready to pop with her third kid -- tried to one up Kim. When you break it down limb by limb ... she really looks amazing ... shades of Demi Moore.

Your move, Khloe.

Victoria's Secret model Nina Agdal firmly planted herself on all 4s ... then opened wide for her extremely lucky boyfriend.

The supermodel's BF Reid Heidenry gingerly hydrated her Saturday in Miami with a brewski.

And he got a reward in the end.

And how was your weekend?

The star of "Lilo & Stitch" is too hot for the Sunset Strip ... because her ass has just been rejected.

Daveigh Chase -- who was the voice of Lilo -- is the star of the upcoming movie, "Wild in Blue." We're told the flick is real sexy, and that's why it's being marketed with Daveigh's ass as its moniker.

Regency Outdoor Advertising owns one of the best billboards on the Strip ... right at Sunset and Doheny, a stone's throw from 1OAK, Bootsy Bellows and Boa.

The folks at "Wild in Blue" offered the market price of $45K for the month of January to plaster her ass, but Regency balked because the image was just too risque.

We're told Regency suggested producers Photoshop "boy shorts" over the thong to make it more palatable. Ain't gonna happen.

The movie's marketers are looking for another billboard on the Strip, but so far no bites ... bites.

It's gonna be 75 degrees and sunny in Miami today. It was 74 degrees yesterday ... which is why Italian model Laura Cremaschi broke out the Daisy Dukes for a nice beach workout.

Crunches. Jump squats. Tire drag. Awesome.

Watch your back, Kim ... Khloe is coming for you.

Khloe Kardashian continued her all out assault on her sister's claim to the most colossal culo in Calabasas ... as she was spotted leaving a private gym Tuesday afternoon.

The spandex-clad profile is oddly similar to the one Kim showed off just a few months back.

The question is ...

Beyoncé posted a new video of her goofing around with friends and shaking that ass, and while it looks like candid home video -- could it all be a set up to squash all those pesky photoshopping rumors ... and snatch back the booty crown from J.Lo?

One thing's for sure -- it’s a lot of fun trying to figure it out!

Jennifer Lopez showed off her gymnast-level flexibility as she performed on stage at Sunday night's American Music Awards ... sending a message to other pop stars -- bow down to this booty.

The 45 year-old singer performed Sunday with Iggy Azalea ... and even though Beyonce and Nicki Minaj have reached for the ass queen throne -- this ankle-grabbing move solidifies J.Lo's position.

Twihards, prepare to be extremely jealous of FKA Twigs ... Robert Pattinson is showing solid PDA with his new chick -- grabbing a heaping handful of her cheeks.

The famous couple went to lunch Friday in L.A. and Edward proudly squeezed his new moon.

Still doesn't excuse his new haircut ... but we're guessing Twigs likes the doo -- and it probably helps RPatz play grab ass with her more often.

Glass is half full.

Here's proof Brazilian that superstar Neymar is winning at everything (besides the World Cup) ... his (reported) GF Serbian model Soraja Vucelic topless on the beach in Montenegro.

Soraja, who was Playmate of the year Serbia in 2011 (hey, it still counts) and Neymar have apparently gone public with there relationship recently posing for pictures together on social media.

In fact, Neymar is rumored to be so hooked on Soraja that he recently sent a private jet to scoop her up and deliver her to Barcelona before his team played in a huge soccer game against rival Real Madrid.

Judging by what we're seeing in these pictures, we can't say we blame the guy.

BONUS: Soraja bounciness on a segway below ... you're welcome.

Iggy Azalea and Jennifer Lopez have created excruciating stress on several ABC staffers -- the censors who will have their hot little fingers on the button during Sunday's American Music Awards.

Our spies tell us ... Iggy and J.Lo will perform "Booty" ... and network honchos are nervous ... real nervous. The execs have set the ground rules ... no cracks, no rubbing. There will be a 3-4 second delay, but these shows have a rich history of raunchy performances slipping through ... the cracks.

It's interesting ... we're told ABC has not put the kibosh on spanking ... something fairly prominent in the music video. But that's as sexual as execs will allow.

The question ... will Iggy and/or J.Lo cross the line?