"Desperate Housewives" creator Marc Cherry just fed the jury a spoonful of crap in his court battle with Nicollette Sheridan ... swearing he WASN'T ANGRY with Nicollette when she accused him of striking her.
Pants. On. Fire.
As we previously reported, Cherry insists Nicollette straight up lied when she claimed he battered her when she questioned a script change back in 2008. Cherry claims he merely tapped her on the head while trying to explain a physical stunt for a scene.
Nicollette claims Cherry then killed her off the show because she complained.
Today, Cherry took the stand in L.A. County Superior Court and said ... not only did he NOT write her off in retaliation ... but he says he wasn't even a tiny bit upset when he found out she complained.
So, if YOU had just been accused of a crime you swear you didn't commit ... you wouldn't be a smidge perturbed? We thought so.
Still, we gotta ask ...
Marc Cherry did not plan to kill off Nicollette Sheridan's character on "Desperate Housewives" until after he allegedly hit her ... at least as far as one writer could tell back when she worked on the show.
Lori Kirkland Baker testified today ... she knew absolutely NOTHING, zilch, nada ... about the death of Sheridan’s character Edie until Dec. 2008 ... 7 months AFTER Marc Cherry claims he made the decision.
Adding fuel to the fire ... Baker said Marc Cherry only brought up killing Edie AFTER he sparred with Sheridan on set -- though she admits she was not present for ALL plot discussions.
Baker was employed by the ABC show for its 4th and 5th seasons. Her contract was not renewed.
Nicollette Sheridan's character on "Desperate Housewives" was set to die, long before Marc Cherry struck her ... and the code name for her demise was OJ.
Marc Cherry testified today in the trial -- where Nicollette is suing Cherry and ABC for wrongful termination -- that the writers were playing with scenarios for killing her off months before the now-famous blowup. Cherry produced writers notes, which included the phrase, "Steven drinks OJ."
Cherry claims the phrase was a reference to Sheridan's on-screen hubby killing her character ... and Cherry also told jurors OJ was a reference to OJ Simpson, who famously killed his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.
"Desperate Housewives" creator Marc Cherry is asking the judge in the Nicollette Sheridan case to let his lawyers impeach the fired actress on grounds she has been inconsistent in her story that Marc violently hit her across the head during an argument.
Cherry admitted on the stand today his fingers came into contact with Nicollette's head but he denied violently hitting her.
According to new documents obtained by TMZ ... Cherry's lawyers want the jury to hear that Nicollette has changed her account ... originally alleging a slap and then escalating the allegation to a "violent hit." And during her testimony Nicollette changed her description yet again to a "nice wallop."
Cherry and his lawyers believe the inconsistencies prove Nicollette's battery claim is groundless.
As for what Cherry says he did ... in his testimony today he claims he was just demonstrating how a scene should unfold when his fingers made contact with Nicollette's head.
Marc Cherry is not Nicollette Sheridan's only adversary in her trial -- her former co-stars are poised to destroy her case, because they're all set to testify for the defense.
TMZ has obtained the witness list in Nicollette's trial. Among those who will be called on behalf of Cherry -- Eva Longoria, Felicity Huffman, James Denton, Marcia Cross and Neal McDonough.
The women on the show will all testify -- they never saw Marc strike Nicollette, as she alleges, nor did they witness any retaliation after she complained to ABC honchos.
According to the witness list, Nicollette wants to grill Marc for 8 hours.
Eva, Felicity, James, Marcia and Neal will all be in and out in 30 minutes or less, although cross-examination could prolong things.
It's the moment Nicollette Sheridan has been waiting for ... she's finally inside an L.A. courtroom, waiting to unleash hell on "Desperate Housewives" creator Marc Cherry for allegedly smacking her on set ... and then firing her from the show.
TMZ broke the story ... Sheridan sued the "Housewives" creator ... alleging he smacked her across the head and face on the set back in 2008 ... and after she complained, he fired her. Sheridan is demanding millions of dollars in damages.
Cherry is adamant Nicollette's making the whole thing up ... and several past and present "Housewives" cast members, including Eva Longoria and Dana Delany are standing by their man.
Opening statements are expected to begin any moment -- stay tuned.
Nicollette Sheridan -- who is suing Cherry for giving her the boot on "Desperate Housewives" -- accused Cherry in in a deposition of saying, "Tony must like boys if he is marrying this -- this little, small girl with no t*ts, that looks like a boy."
Sources who were present at the wedding tell us Cherry unloaded the comment loudly and proudly ... for all 300 guests to hear. In other words, our sources say Sheridan is grossly misleading the judge by insinuating the comment was meant in a serious and mean-spirited way.
In fact, we're told Eva thought it was funny and laughed out loud.
The golden rule ... always laugh at the boss' jokes.
TMZ obtained Nicollette's declaration in the brutal legal fight she's having with Cherry over her firing on the show.
In the declaration, Nicollette claims, "I was present at Eva Longoria's wedding to Tony Parker, when Mr. Cherry commented that 'Tony must like boys, because he is marrying this -- this little, small girl with no t*ts and -- that looks like a boy.'"
For the record, he couldn't be that gay because he divorced her. Kidding.
Ricardo Chavira -- who plays Eva Longoria's husband on "Desperate Housewives" -- was arrested for DUI early this morning in Los Angeles ... law enforcement sources tell TMZ.
The 39-year-old actor was pulled over for a routine traffic stop at around 2 AM -- when cops allegedly smelled alcohol on his breath.
We're told Chavira was given field sobriety tests at the scene -- but they didn't go so well -- so cops arrested him on suspicion of DUI. Sources say Chavira refused to take a blood or breath test.
Chavira was taken to a nearby jail -- where he was booked. He's currently being held on $25,000 bail.
Story developing ...
"Desperate Housewives" star James Denton hit the court for a charity basketball game -- and dude ended up looking like HE was the charity 'cause his team was that TERRIBLE. Roll the lowlights!
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Baseball and beer go together like peanut butter and jelly -- unless the game is going down at a little league field ... and "Desperate Housewives" star Doug Savant learned that lesson the hard way.
TMZ has learned Savant was recently suspended by his kid's L.A. little league -- after a concerned parent noticed the actor secretly downing a brew out of a paper cup while in the stands.
We're told the parent in question confronted Doug -- calling him out for violating park rules -- and the poor guy had to face the Board of Directors soon after the incident.
Savant -- who's actually president of the damn league -- was suspended for an entire weekend. He couldn't be reached for comment.
Nicollette Sheridan does not think she was fired from "Desperate Housewives" because of her sex, age or sexual orientation.
In legal docs obtained by TMZ, Sheridan has dropped a portion of her lawsuit filed against Marc Cherry and Touchstone Television Productions ... in which she claims Cherry slapped her, she complained to the brass and got fired as a result.
Sheridan has agreed to drop her claims of discrimination and harassment based on sex, age and sexual orientation.
But the suit is not over. Sheridan is pressing on with her claims of assault and battery and wrongful termination.
Teri Hatcher is more deceitful than a housewife on Wisteria Lane -- this according to a new lawsuit filed by a former good friend.
Jennifer Glassman claims Hatcher convinced her to quit her PR job to become Vice Prez of Teri's production company -- and get 50% of all the spoils.
Here's the problem. Jennifer didn't get the deal in writing. According to the suit, after joining Teri's company, she was asked to sign a blank contract as a "formality," giving Teri the right to fire her at will ... which she did.
In the lawsuit filed in L.A. County Superior Court, Jennifer claims she was not only extremely competent, but forced to handle "Hatcher's mood swings and unusual requests." Among the requests -- scheduling doctors' appointments, planning parties, researching vacation arrangements and hiring a dog trainer.
Jennifer claims Hatcher fired her a few months before Teri got a big fat check for the launch of a website supported by Disney ... a website Jennifer claims she had a big part in creating.
The suit -- claiming fraud, intentional deceit, wrongful termination and emotional distress -- seeks unspecified damages.
UPDATE: We just got a statement from Teri's rep, who called the lawsuit a "ridiculous fabrication." Brad Cafarelli added, "It is unfortunate that the many opportunities Ms. Hatcher afforded the former employee are now being so implausibly twisted and contorted." Cafarelli says Teri and Disney will vigorously fight the suit, and nail Glassman with "substantial counterclaims ... for her reckless and premeditated misconduct on her departure."
"Desperate Housewives" creator Marc Cherry scored some high-powered support in his legal war with Nicollette Sheridan last night ... and it wasn't just because he paid for dinner.
Cherry and "Housewives" star Dana Delany chowed down together at Bouchon in L.A. -- on Marc's dime -- and while Marc wasn't talking about the lawsuit, Dana told us she'd never seen any violence on set and called him "a great boss."
Eva Longoria could be deciding who is responsible for a rear-ender!
TMZ spies spotted the "Desperate Housewives" star in the jury assembly room Monday at the downtown Los Angeles County Courthouse.
Longoria was dressed to impress in a tan coat, tight blue jeans, lookin' "smokin' hot." Our spy has to be hosed down after watching Eva yak it up on her cellphone.
Longoria was friendly enough to her fellow potential jurors, but we're told she hasn't been selected as a potential juror on a specific case.
Eva was there until after 4 p.m., which means she put in a full day, doing basically nothing.
A bloody and seemingly banged up Felicity Huffman was wheeled off the set of "Desperate Housewives" yesterday, as the cast and crew could only stare in amazement. But fear not D.H. fans, it's all part of the show.
The actress donned the battered housewife look for a dramatic scene in Canoga Park, Calif. No word on just who or what caused the injuries to Felicity's alter ego. Could this be the result of the much anticipated supermarket hostage situation promised by creator Marc Cherry? Guess we'll just have to wait and see!