Hot Bodies

A massive oil slick washed ashore in Miami over the weekend, ruining the surf for vacationers and wildlife.

Marine biologists traced the environmental disaster to Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis, seen here emerging nearly unscathed from the sea, in what was once a pair of white bathing trunks.

The exquisite ecdysiast was in Tokyo last night, where she performed her signature burlesque act as part of a lingerie fashion show, as models in skimpy skivvies walked the catwalk -- and damn, baby got back!

Please, stop drooling now.

Former "OC" star Mischa Barton is going lesbian (again) for her new movie, and this is the girl she's going to be locking lips with. Line forms to the left!

Shantel VanSanten is a former contestant on the short-lived NBC reality show "Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search." Shantel was one of the first contestants eliminated, but she seems to have landed on her feet.

Hey mister, need a date?

Brooke Hogan, daughter of Hulk, was spotted stepping off a sidewalk and into a car in Miami.

Wrapped in a tortured black mini dress to accentuate her wares, the hyper-peroxided celebuspawn wore her best see-thru pumps for DJ Irie's birthday party at The Forge. Heyyyyyyyy!

B and J were spotted while vacationing in the French Riviera, when they docked their yacht in Saint-Tropez on the southern coast and took a sightseeing tour of the famous nude beach.

Miss B is resting up before the start of her summer tour.

Kev played bartender at Whitehouse on Saturday night, where the ladies in the club just couldn't get enough of the hotness that is Kevin Dillon. The women were practically lined up for the actor, fighting for a photo op with the guy whose onscreen alter-ego, Johnny Drama, isn't necessarily lucky in love.

Victory!!!

No surprise here: Matthew McConaughey tops People's "Hottest Bachelors" list. The perpetually shirtless bongo-playing actor riffs to the magazine about his favorite summer activities ("what better way to enjoy [the summer] than the beach, where few people wear shirts"), and dishes on his favorite way to work up a sweat -- working out, that is.

And what about his ideal woman? Well, ladies, he wants a woman who is both hot and funny. Is that too much to ask for? "A woman with a good sense of humor is always hot," says the His Hotness.

WWE superstar Paul London told Prowrestling.com that Ashley "was written out of the WWE storylines because she's leaving to be a contestant on the 'Survivor' reality show." This could explain this week's "suspension" of Massaro on "SmackDown!" Fortunately, it looks like she's kept her spirit uplifted.

America's favorite middle-aged Canadian blonde bombshell can still rock a nipple-icious off-the-shoulder boulder-holder gown -- and her breasteses don't look a day over 18! Hmmm, wonder what her secret is?!

The southern belle was ranked #18 on the Maxim Hot 100 of 2007 list. The titillating starlet, seen here at a press conference in Seoul for "Transformers," is now 21 -- and engaged to former "Beverly Hills, 90210" hunk Brian Austin Green, 33. For now.

Wearing a satin sheath purchased from an Emerald City garage sale, the pop mom gave peeps a peep at her pups, then she flashed her rear while getting into her car. Lil' Sean and Jayden's mama was sans brassiere, but mercifully wore panties. She's a giver.

At least her weave was held in place by her Christmas paisley scarf, bringing a Gypsy flavor to her floozetastic ensemble. Top it off with hoop earrings and a gold purse, and she's ready to party, y'all!

Armani was snapped while on holiday on the island of Formentera, off the Spanish coast, where nude sunbathing is permitted.

Giorgio remained modest.

• Trunks or Speedos?
  

The meticulously plucked muscle man let his hair down at Treasure Island's hip burlesque club Tangerine -- with a bevy of equally made-up beauties. Fierce!

Hopefully, partying the night away in Vegas won't lead Carrot Top to hit bottom.