Paparazzi Photo

The lord is my personal trainer, I shall not want.

Mega-televangelist Joel Osteen hit the beach in Hawaii this week for a little family vacation time with his wife Victoria, his son Jonathan, his daughter Alexandra ... and a SHREDDED SIX PACK!!!

Besides being one of the most famous preachers in the world, Osteen is also a health nut ... who dishes out diet advice on his web page. Judging by his sculpted physique, dude knows what he's talking about.

Lindsay Lohan says there's NO TRUTH to reports she was boozing at a SAG Awards after party this weekend ... and now, TMZ has learned, she's threatening to SUE the media outlets that published the story in the first place.

A source close to the actress tells TMZ ... Lindsay is already exploring her legal options with her attorneys ... because she feels the false stories are sabotaging her effort to save her career.

Lindsay acknowledges she WAS at the party at the Chateau Marmot hotel in Hollywood Sunday night ... but insists she was sitting with Alan Cumming the whole time and ONLY drank water.

We're told Lindsay's also pissed over reports about a recent gas station makeout session with Dennis Hopper's son Henry (pictured above), where she allegedly purchased Red Bull and vodka.

Lindsay Lohan has so much junk in her Venice Beach house ... she had to call a SECOND giant moving truck today to help her pack up.

TMZ broke the story ... Lindsay's moving out of her Venice pad because she no longer feels safe living there -- after a strange man knocked on her front door New Year's Day, demanding to speak to her.

Lindsay's been living out of the legendary Chateau Marmont hotel in Hollywood ever since the trespassing incident -- and is currently moving her stuff into storage until she decides where to make her next move.

Sarah Jessica Parker was hard at work on the L.A. set of "Lovelace" on Wednesday ... taking over the role Demi Moore vacated after she was hospitalized last week.

Parker is rocking a long blonde wig to play '70s feminist icon Gloria Steinem in the biopic of late porn star Linda Lovelace.

As we previously reported, Demi dropped out of the project in the wake of her medical emergency ... when she inhaled dangerous amounts of nitrous oxide in the form of whip-its, lapsed into semi-consciousness and experienced seizure-like symptoms.

Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry are going about their business today ... but they are both on pins and needles waiting for the judge in their custody case to lay down the law on how they will be parenting 3-year-old Nahla.

Halle was walking on crutches with BF Olivier Martinez in West Hollywood this AM, while Gabriel was taking Nahla to school.

Gabriel Aubry kept a tight grip on 3-year-old Nahla today in West Hollywood.

Gabriel and baby mama Halle Berry are waiting for the judge's ruling in their child custody war. TMZ broke the story ... everyone is going to counseling and the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services has recommended that the judge implement more than a dozen recommendations to lower the volume.

Victoria's Secret model Candice Swanepoel knows the first rule when it comes to smoking hot bikini shoots on the beach -- always wear protection ... sweet, sweet, lotion-y protection.

The pic was snapped Saturday in Saint Barts where the super model's butt ... some woman's ... hand ... sorry, where were we?

Halle Berry just arrived at the L.A. County Courthouse ... ready to do battle with baby daddy Gabriel Aubry.

Halle is trying to get a restraining order ... prohibiting Gabriel from having any contact with Nahla until the child endangerment investigation targeting him is resolved.

Rumer Willis returned to the Hollywood party scene last night ... slinking into a SAG Awards after-party just 6 days after her mother partied her way into the hospital last week.

Rumer -- who was at her mom's home when Demi went into a semi-conscious, convulsive state last Monday -- was seen entering the legendary Chateau Marmont hotel on the Sunset Strip last night ... by herself.

As we previously reported, Rumer and Demi had been partying together in Hollywood just 2 weeks before Demi's medical emergency.

We're told Demi is still receiving treatment for substance abuse.

... in case you forgot.

FYI -- Jessica Simpson hasn't revealed her exact due date ... but recently said she's expected to give birth in the spring.

Heidi Klum was spotted out in public this afternoon ... shuttling her kids to a karate class in Brentwood ... and still sporting her wedding ring.

Heidi was spotted wearing her wedding ring earlier this week (see below) but she had it turned around to cover the giant rock.

Rev. Al Sharpton gave the eulogy and Christina Aguilera sung her classic song "At Last" ... as 300 mourners gathered at Greater Bethany Community Church City of Refuge in Gardena, CA for the funeral of legendary singer Etta James.

James passed away on January 20 at the age of 73.

Stevie Wonder was also in attendance. He performed "Shelter in the Rain" and sang The Lord's Prayer.

Gabriel Aubry kept a tight grip on his daughter Nahla this AM, in the midst of his battle royale with baby mama Halle Berry.

We're told Gabriel left his house to take Nahla to her pre-school.

TMZ broke the story ... Halle is trying to temporarily strip Gabriel of all contact with Nahla while police investigate a criminal child endangerment complaint against him ... for allegedly pushing the nanny while she was holding the child. Gabriel is also being investigated for battery.

Demi Moore was obsessively drinking Red Bull in weeks preceding her 911 emergency, but we've learned her addiction to Red Bull is a decade old.

Moore -- a recovering addict -- had cases and cases of Red Bull delivered to her home as early as 2002. Sources connected with Red Bull North America tell us ... Demi was so dependent on the energy drink, the company used her to market the product.

Sources from the Red Bull company tell us ... the delivery schedule was frequent enough to ensure Demi was never without Red Bull.

The Sun published a story today reporting ... in the months before Demi was hospitalized ... she was using Red Bull in place of food.

Our sources say ... two weeks before Demi was hospitalized, she went to a Hollywood party and consumed a massive amount of Red Bull ... but never touched alcohol.

While Adriana Lima posed for a photo shoot on the beach in St. Barts, someone was actually given the very, very enviable task of making sure the super model's ample boobs were in just the right spot -- which is odd ... since there is no wrong spot for them.

Being Adriana's breast friend in the world ... where do we sign up?