Real Housewives

TMZ has stumbled upon a brand new casting ad saying:

"Bravo is looking for outgoing, exciting, strong, focused women who reside in and around the Beverly Hills area that want to share their lives.

"We are looking for women who are lively and energetic, with defined opinions and views. Our featured women should have busy lives, be involved with the community, have a strong work ethic, and an active social calendar."

TheDirty posted a photo yesterday of the "Real Housewives of Orange County" star riding topless in the passenger seat of a car -- and now Gretchen has tagged the Costa Mesa Police Department in to join her in the fight against the website.

We've obtained a letter the CMPD fired over to TheDirty's lawyers, saying they've now launched an investigation over the origins of the photos -- which still remain on the site.

It's the most "real life" drama Rossi has ever been a part of.

"Real Housewives of Orange County" star Gretchen Rossi is pissed off about a photo that was posted online of her on the toilet. Her lawyers fired off a cease and desist letter to the TheDirty.com, demanding the pic's removal.

In the letter, Rossi claims the pics were stolen from her and posted without her authorization. The photo is still up on the site.

Here's what we're wondering ... who takes a picture of themselves on the toilet? Just askin' ...

Lisa and her ATL gal pal NeNe Leakes hit up Mr. Chow for dinner last night -- but the only thing they chewed up and spit out was the hated Kim Zolciak.

"Real Housewives with Fake Weaves of Atlanta" star Kim Zolciak's bud said Kim was "high class" -- because nothing says "high class" like the chick who once lied about having cancer telling people to "look at my t*ts."

Only one of them accused their ex-husband of stealing $72,000 from her.

We're just sayin'.

Cops say someone hates one of the "Real Housewives of Orange County" so much, they've actually made threats on her life.

The Orange County Sheriff's Department is investigating two death threats received by Vicki Gunvalson. We're told sheriffs believe the two threats came from "a fanatical female fan who takes the show way too seriously."

According to Sheriff's spokesman Jim Amormino, Vicki received one of the threats through a phone call -- and the other through an email sent to another cast member from the show, Jeana Keough. The email told Keough not to worry about Gunvalson because she "would take care of Vicki for her."

According to Ajc.com Zolciak was supposed to lend her "star power" to an event sponsored by Shoes for Shattered Hearts -- a charity that was actually co-founded by Zolciak herself. It's one thing to start a charity, it's another to actually show up, especially since this was the fledging organization's first event.

Instead of helping others, the Real Selfish Housewife opted for some "mental R and R." Apparently, the kind of R and R that you can only get in the Caribbean ... getting drunk on a beach.

The media whores sucked face while docked on a boat in Newport Harbor on Wednesday.

Bereavement is so overrated!

Kim Zolciak, the horrible wigged diva from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," is asking a judge for a protective order -- but, refreshingly, against her former publicist.

Zolciak says the dude hijacked her website and began trashing her online.

Zolciak claims, in legal papers filed in Georgia, after she fired him -- that he changed all the passwords and began posting items claiming, among other things, she was broke as a joke and couldn't even pay for the website.

Of all the negative things the guy could have said....

Slade Smiley from "The Real Housewives of Orange County" -- yes, there are guys on that show -- was picked up by Costa Mesa PD today on a civil contempt warrant.

We're told Smiley was popped this afternoon and is currently being held on $10,000 bail.

It's unclear what the warrant is for ... there's a buzz it involves unpaid child support, but so far we haven't confirmed it.

UPDATE -- Slade's people are saying he was "unaware" that the warrant existed until he was arrested. The warrant had to do with money he owed his baby mama for their son who has been suffering from a rare form of brain cancer for several years. He says, "This is an unfortunate situation that has occurred. My son is very ill and we have been working on resolving the issue of support vs. his enormous medical bills with the appropriate agencies for several months now. It is sad that individuals would take advantage of the situation in an attempt to defame and discredit me in such a public manner. For those who know me, there is nothing more important than my children."

One of the chicks from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" is raising hell over her multi-million dollar divorce settlement -- claiming she needs more cash to compensate for her total lack of brain power.

Sheree Whitfield -- who was married to former NFL lineman Bob Whitfield -- just filed an appeal with the Georgia Supreme Court. According to a court spokesperson, Sheree's lawyers argued she was wrongly denied alimony and needs it because she lacks the education and skill set to make good money on her own.

Under the original settlement agreement, Whitfield received a $775,000 lump sum, more than $1.1 million in marital property, a portion of Bob's NFL retirement plans and $2,142 a month in child support -- but no alimony.

Bob's attorney claims the $113,422-a-year he's required to give her is enough -- and claims Sheree should be fined $2,500 by the court for wasting everyone's time.

Four obvious reasons to watch Monday's ep of "The Bonnie Hunt Show." Anderson Cooper, eat your heart out.