Weird News

TMZ's favorite nipple-baring wacktress was at Mr. Chow last night, talking about rivers, meat and monkeys in the Amazon, rapping (if repeating the same two words over and over can be considered rapping) about her new movie, "Southland Tales" and showing off some killer new moves she picked up in Brazil.

The document, titled "Show Participation," requires the people who work David's shows to arm themselves with clipboards, a Polaroid camera, a digital camera, brochures of David's islands in the Bahamas and "Blank photo(s) of David (if one of the girls is a scorpion)." "Scorpion" refers to women David brings onstage as part of his act.

The document describes how the assistants need to be heads-up for attractive women whom David can meet backstage after the performance. We're told the plan is to keep boyfriends and husband in the arena, adding "from time to time, boyfriends and husbands will give us a hard time and refuse to stay. If that is the case, try your best to get them to stay and refer to the "What to Say" sheet for help."

And it gets creepier.

OK! magazine reports that by request of the museum, Manilow donated the hyper-hideous jacket he wore for his Copacabana routine. When he was asked about it, he said, "I always knew the jacket would wind up in an institution." The staid Smithsonian was not amused -- and returned the jacket to Barry, saying, "You can't make fun of the Smithsonian." Well!

The 58-year-old Black Sabbath frontman-turned-reality star is holding an online contest, where the winner -- and three pals -- get to have a pre-Thanksgiving dinner with Ozzy at his new L.A. pad. Can you picture that dinner mumble conversation?! The Prince of Darkness will even make his signature Yorkshire pudding. On second thought, mama, I'm coming home!

In this hilarious video shot outside of Koi last night, Bai approached our cameraman, showed off some new Elaine-inspired moves and tried to come up with a new name for her dance -- to replace "The Crazy Chicken."

Unsolicited, Ling decided to press Pressly with some hard-hitting TMZ-style questions outside Nicky Hilton's fashion show, asking Jaime about Britney Spears and her own plans for Halloween. My Name is Awk-weird!

The never-ending battle of words between boisterous billionaires Donald Trump and Mark Cuban has shifted from the topic of Dan Rather to Internet spam. Ooooh, burn!

Apparently, our friends across the pond are just as obsessed as we are with the trials and tribulations of struggling models.

The only problem -- her birthday bash isn't until October 10th ... a full week later.

Usually, when Adrianne Curry blogs, it just makes her look like a crazy woman. Maybe it's just showing her in true form, but her latest dispatch makes her look a little like Strom Thurmond with fake boobs. America's Next Top Race-Baiter!

The first "America's Next Top Model" initially wrote on her MySpace blog that she's boycotting Black History Month and the BET network, and that while the history of slavery of African-Americans "does suck some major balls," she's imploring them to "move the f**k on."

While several "Dancing With the Stars" contestants are limited in one way or another (Mel B. just had a baby, Wayne Newton has been stretched to the limit for some time), it's doubtful any of them have endured what Mark Cuban has.

The outspoken Dallas Mavericks owner had his hip replaced less than seven weeks before he started practicing for "Dancing With the Stars." Ay caramba!

Ling, who wasted no time hitting the clubs after her triumphant return to Hollywood, complained to TMZ's camera last night at Mr. Chow that she was "jet lagged" and "spaced out." How can ya tell?