War Machine penned a suicide note in his jail cell ... in which he paints himself as the victim as he recounts the night he brutally beat his porn star girlfriend Christy Mack within an inch of her life.
We broke the story ... War Machine tried to kill himself inside a Las Vegas jail cell this week -- a plan that was foiled by a corrections officer.
TMZ obtained a letter War Machine sent to a friend the day before his suicide attempt. It's shockingly delusional. He says after they broke up and got back together, "Something seemed different about you."
He then tries to justify the beating, by saying he was stunned when he discovered her infidelity, and saying "Finding what I found that night was devastating to me, more than you will ever know," adding, "not just the unfaithfulness, but the way u cared for him and protected him."
War Machine says in the note this time he'd let Christy's new boyfriend Corey Thomas beat him up -- because he believes she would have stopped the guy and kicked her new dude out.
He then sinks into a world of self pity ... "I still don't understand how I got into this mess. I don't know why this had to happen. My life was going so well." He then has the balls to say, "I forgive you, please forgive me."
War Machine is still facing 32 charges -- including attempted murder -- while he waits behind bars.
Dodgers Star Hanley Ramirez
My Lambo Spits FIRE!
10/20/2014 12:45 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
L.A. Dodgers star Hanley Ramirez wanted a hot car ... so he got one that SHOOTS FIRE!!!!
TMZ Sports has learned ... Hanley dropped around $550k for a white 2014 Lamborghini Aventador -- but wanted to make it stand out ... so he went to The Auto Firm in Miami and upgraded the exhaust to one that spits flames.
We're told Hanley has already shipped the car back to Los Angeles -- so if you see a pimped out fire-breathing white Lambo on the 405 ... it's probably best not to tailgate.
My Cigar Can Wait
'Cause I'm Addicted To Fatherhood
10/19/2014 12:45 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Michael Jordan loves a lit cigar ... but there are two things he loves even more -- 'cause when it came to puffing his stogie or carrying his newborn in Vegas ... MJ chose wisely.
Jordan was in Sin City for a golf tournament recently with all his normal accessories -- hoop earrings, twin daughters, and his now trademark cigar ... except this time his stogie coals were on chill.
Despite the fact he was chewing on a fat one -- and there were people smoking all around him -- we're told MJ fought the urge to light up until his kids were put to bed.
Look, it's not the greatest accomplishment in the world ... but when you love stogies like MJ loves stogies (see: MJ double-fisting) .... it's the little victories that count.
BRINGIN' REEBOK PUMPS BACK
... With Custom Paint Job
10/19/2014 12:25 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
It's like 1989 all over again ... 'cause Dominique Wilkins is teaming up with a famous sneaker artist to swag out a sick pair of Reebok Pumps -- and it's all for charity.
TMZ Sports spoke with Kickstradomis -- a legend in the shoe world who even created custom cleats for L.A. Dodgers stars Andre Ethier and Dee Gordon.
Kickstradomis tells us Wilkins contacted him to work on a custom shoe that could be auctioned off at an event in November which raises money for the Spina Bifida Association.
The shoe-artist says he was all about it from the start and immediately came up with "three mock-ups" tin an effort to turn a classic pair of red and white Pumps into a luxury Hawks-themed masterpiece.
We're told Dominique was FIRED UP when he saw the final design and will sign them before they hit the auction block.
Pretty cool, right?
Getting Canned Ain't So Bad ...
I'm Writing a Book Now
10/19/2014 12:15 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Ex-WWE announcer Justin Roberts isn't taking a break after getting 86'd from the company Friday ... he's jumping into a new ring -- literature ... he's writing a book about his life.
Sources close to Roberts tell us he bolted for Hawaii a few days after his WWE contract wasn't renewed, and while he's there he plans to write about his struggle to break into the wrestling biz.
We're told he wants the book to be part inspirational, part instructional.
Justin hasn't locked down a publisher yet, but plans to meet with potential suitors once he's done writing.
NY Giants Linebacker
Phil Collins Can Help Us Beat Dallas
... We Can Feel It
10/18/2014 5:54 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
The secret to beating the Dallas Cowboys?
Well, maybe he can help -- because NY Giants head coach Tom Coughlin turned to Phil's best song to help fire up his team this week ... so says linebacker Mark Herzlich.
Herzlich says Coughlin decided to play some music during practice this week to get the team ready for their HUGE game against the Dallas Cowboys ... and Tom decided Phil's jam could help pump up the intensity.
Mike Tyson approves.
My First Broadway Show
... Was About 'The Jets'
10/18/2014 12:49 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Joe Namath is so New York ... even the first Broadway show he ever saw was all about at The Jets.
The NFL Hall of Famer was out in NYC this week and we had to ask ... with a nickname like "Broadway Joe" -- what was the first Broadway play he ever saw.
Namath gave the only answer you'd expect a NY Jets legend to give ... because when you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way ... right?
At Local Wrestling Show
10/18/2014 9:27 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Ronda Rousey hit up a local wrestling show Friday night in Reseda ... but it's what she did during one of the matches that has people talking.
The UFC women's bantamweight champ attended a Pro Wrestling Guerilla event ... and during one of the matches she was prompted by a wrestler named Tommaso Ciampa to chop his opponent's chest.
After some audience urging, Ronda reeled back and lit up the guy's chest -- the place went nuts.
Ronda rolled to the event with a few members of her posse "The 4 Horsewomen" -- MMA fighters Shayna Baszler and Jessamyn Duke -- and the whole group had no problem taking pics with wrestling fans all night.
'Crazy Athletic, Real Potential'
... Says Ex-Boxing Champ
10/18/2014 12:45 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Justin Bieber's no bitch in the ring -- the guy's got REAL BOXING POTENTIAL ... so says former champ Andre Berto who says Bieb could be a real contender if he takes the sport seriously.
We spoke to the former welterweight champ -- who trains at the same L.A. boxing gym where Bieber worked the mitts with Floyd Mayweather earlier this week -- who says he was legitimately impressed.
"The kid is CRAZY athletic," Berto says ... " I seen that from kickin' it with him a few years back. He has good speed and power."
But Berto has a strong warning for the pop star -- it's no joke.
"This boxing game is nothing to play with. It's not like dancing or singing. If you get your ass CRACKED it’ll make you change your whole perspective on things."
Boston Should Be Ashamed
For Turning On Tom Brady
10/18/2014 12:35 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Maria Menounos is calling out the whole city of Boston ... telling TMZ Sports she was "embarrassed" by the way her city turned on Tom Brady during his early-season slump.
Menounos was in NY when we asked the Patriots super-fan how she felt about Tom now that the veteran QB seems to be hitting his stride ... and that's when Maria called out Beantown.
Watch the video -- Maria isn't afraid to take her home town to task on Tom's behalf and even manages to save a little love for his hoodie-clad head coach.
Hey Tiger ...
Keep YOUR Balls Out of Here!
10/17/2014 1:20 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
The mega-mansion Elin Nordegren built with her $100 million Tiger Woods Fund includes a gigantic screw you to her ex -- a mini golf course and putting green ... where he will NOT be practicing his short game.
It's not enough that Elin's 21,000 sq. ft custom crib has 9 bedrooms, a home theater, and a huge swimming pool -- her front yard is a perfectly manicured green with multiple practice holes ... AND two bunkers!
Ballsy message on Elin's part. But we doubt Tiger's sweating it ... he's never had a problem finding holes to play.
LANDS 540 TWIST
... At 42-Years-Old
10/17/2014 12:08 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Age ain't nothin' but a number to Kelly Slater ... 'cause the 42-year-old surf legend just hit a 540 TWIST during a session in Portugal.
It's an insane athletic feat for anyone at ANY age ... but the fact Slater was able to pull this off in his 40s is especially impressive.
There's an argument whether the jump is a 540 or a 720 (looks like a 540 to us) ... but Surfing Magazine is calling it a 540, so we're gonna go with that.
While we're on the topic, here's what a 720 DUNK looks like ...
Colts Owner Jim Irsay
DUI VIDEO RELEASED
Wobbling, Stumbling, Hammered
10/17/2014 10:30 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Officials have finally released dash cam footage from the night Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay was arrested for DUI ... and the guy was a complete mess.
The 55-year-old was popped just before midnight on March 16th ... and as you can see in the clip, he could barely keep his balance as he stumbled out of the car.
Cops say Irsay had multiple painkillers in his system, including oxycodone and hydrocodone.
Irsay eventually pled guilty to one misdemeanor count of operating a vehicle while intoxicated -- and was sentenced to 1 year probation.
The NFL also suspended Irsay for 6 games ... and fined him $500k.
It's a miracle this guy didn't kill anyone on the road that night.