"At least you're not Chad Johnson" might be something people say soon ... because on top of being a wanted man, TMZ has learned the former NFL star's finances are sinking faster than his career.
Chad filed new court docs as part of an ongoing battle with one of his baby mamas, Andrea Pearson, asking a judge to lower his $5,420 per month child support payments because he claims can't afford it.
In the docs, Chad says he agreed to that number back in March 2012, when he was a successful NFL star. He says he now "finds himself without a contract and without a team. Simply [I am] unemployed."
He also says, at such a late stage in his career, it is CERTAIN he will never make the kind of cash he once did.
The Wisconsin racetrack where Dick Trickle forged his legacy -- winning TONS of races en route to becoming a NASCAR star -- is honoring the driver with a special pre-race ceremony when stock car season kicks off later this month, TMZ has learned.
It's all happening at the Wisconsin International Raceway in Kaukauna, WI (just south of Green Bay) -- where Trickle won so many races during his pre-NASCAR career, track officials named a building in Turn 2 the "Dick Trickle Pavilion."
We've learned ... officials at the W.I.R. have greenlit plans to commemorate their local hero with a memorial lap in Dick's honor on May 30 ... with the pace car carrying a black flag.
A rep for the company says Trickle was "a true champion, good friend and will be missed by all."
As we previously reported, officials say Dick died Thursday from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound in North Carolina.
Laird Hamilton's latest surfin' safari was a TOTAL DISASTER ... all because greedy jet skiers have overrun and RUINED the Tahitian spot he made famous ... the surfing icon tells TMZ.
"They are so much more concerned with catching the next wave than with other surfers," the 49-year-old big-wave pioneer said. "The chaos of the jet skis' movement has a circus-like aspect. Some behaviors were borderline clownish."
Laird recalls several near-collisions at his famed spot off of Teahupo'o this week ... even a few wipeouts caused by wave-grubbing jet skiers thrusting themselves in front of boarders.
"I watched a few surfers go down hard," he said.
He's also taking issue with the number of wave-riders taking crazy risks just to capture video ...
"They're all wearing a bunch of cameras, taking off on waves they have NO chance of making," Laird told us. "They drop in just so they can have a photo of themselves ... 'Wow, look at me!'"
For the uninitiated ... back in 2000, Laird became a major name in surfing after dropping into a dangerous monster wave at the Teahupo'o break ... forever cementing it as a go-to spot for big-wave surfers.
The irony -- he was only able to do it by being towed in ... by a jet ski.
Dick Trickle suffered from excruciating pain under his left breast in the days before he killed himself ... and was "very down" about his health situation in his final days, this according to Trickle's brother.
Chuck Trickle opened up to both TMZ and the Las Vegas Review Journal ... saying Dick's death from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound is "a shock to me ... it's real hard to think about."
Chuck says he spoke with Dick just last week ... and the former NASCAR driver was complaining about a severe pain under his left breast that seemed to be getting worse.
"He was having a lot of issues w some pain ... he had sharp pain by his left breast and constant hard pain," Chuck told TMZ.
Chuck says Dick went to the doctor twice a day in an effort to remedy the issue -- and underwent numerous MRIs and CAT scans -- but doctors were never able to determine the cause of the pain.
“He was very down,” Trickle said ... adding, “He more or less said he didn’t know how much longer he could take the pain.”
As TMZ first reported, Trickle left a suicide note at the North Carolina cemetery where he died -- it's unclear if the note explains why Trickle decided to take his own life.
Dick Trickle sounded extremely calm for a man planning to kill himself when he called 911 yesterday and told the operator, "There's going to be dead body ... suicide."
TMZ has obtained the 911 call made by the NASCAR driver moments before he shot himself. In the call, Trickle gave the dispatcher very detailed instructions about where to find the body at Forest Lawn Cemetery in North Carolina.
When the dispatcher asked Trickle if he was calling about someone else, Trickle replied, "No, I'm the one."
The operator begged Trickle to wait for help ... but her pleas went unanswered.
When emergency personnel arrived at the scene, Trickle's body was discovered right where he said it would be.
Officials say Trickle died from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.
But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It's wrestling legend Jake The Snake!!! Because he's a freaking actor now!!!
Snake (real name Aurelian Smith Jr.) has struggled with drug and alcohol addiction for decades -- but his rep tells TMZ, the 57-year-old has been sober for over 180 days ... and has decided to kick start his life by embarking on a new career ... as a thespian.
The rep says Jake has just started acting classes this week -- and hasn't locked down an agent yet -- but he's already been offered part in an independent film (probably playing some gruff old dude with a mustache).
Once Jake gets into the swing of things, we're told he's also planning to go on tons of auditions very soon ... TV, commercials, movies, you name it.
FYI, Jake and fellow wrestling legend/recovering addict Scott Hall are currently living with former wrestler Diamond Dallas Page, who has converted his Atlanta home into a kind of sober living facility.
Skating pioneer Rodney Mullen is about to put his focus back on freestyling ... the "Godfather of Street Skating" has filed for divorce from his wife of 13 years.
Rodney and Traci Mullen were married in April of 2000, and have no kids. They signed a prenup a month before the wedding according to divorce docs ... and Rodney wants it enforced -- in particular, the section that frees him from paying spousal support.
Rodney cites irreconcilable differences for the split.
If you've seen kids doing tricks involving kicking and flipping their boards around on the street or at the skatepark, you've seen Mullen's influence -- he either invented them or had them improved upon during his '80s heyday.
2:44 PM PT -- NASCAR Chairman and CEO Brian France just commented on Trickle's death ... saying, "Our thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of Dick Trickle on his passing today."
"Dick was a legend in the short-track racing community, particularly in his home state of Wisconsin, and he was a true fan favorite. Personalities like Dick Trickle helped shape our sport. He will be missed."
2:28 PM PT -- We're told ... Trickle's body was removed from the cemetery and has been transported to a nearby hospital.
2:17 PM PT -- Multiple sources who knew Trickle tell us he had been sick for a while and depressed. We're not sure what kind of illness Trickle had been suffering from.
1:51 PM PT -- Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... Trickle did leave a suicide note at the death scene. The contents of the note are unclear at this time.
Former NASCAR driver Dick Trickle is dead ... apparently having taken his own life with a self-inflicted gunshot wound. He was 71 years old.
Cops in North Carolina say Trickle shot himself at Forest Lawn Cemetery in Lincoln County at 12:02 PM today.
Officials say they received a phone call before the shooting in which the caller said there would be a dead body at the cemetery and it would be his.
Operators scrambled, trying to place a return call, but there was no answer.
When emergency responders arrived, they found Trickle's body near his pickup truck.
Trickle was a fan favorite in NASCAR -- often smoking cigarettes while he raced.
Dick won the NASCAR "Rookie of the Year" award in the Winston Cup in 1989, when he was 48 years old.
Trickle was also beloved by the gang on "SportsCenter" -- Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick used to almost always report his race results -- no matter how poorly he finished -- just because they were amused by his name.
Olbermann just tweeted ... "No sports figure Dan + I had fun with took it more graciously. In fact, gratefully."
He added, "Trickle helped mainstream NASCAR coverage on @SportsCenter We gave prominent attention to him, then his races, then ALL races."
There's still one team interested in former NFL star Chad Johnson ... the team tasked with BRINGING HIM INTO CUSTODY ... 'cause he's officially a wanted man.
TMZ has learned ... a warrant has been issued for Johnson's arrest in Broward County, Florida -- stemming from his domestic violence conviction involving ex-wife Evelyn Lozada last year.
The Broward County District Attorney's Office tells us ... Johnson has failed to report to his probation officer -- a violation of the terms of his probation -- and on May 7, a judge issued the warrant.
Chad also allegedly failed to show proof of enrollment and completion of the "Batterers Intervention Program."
Once Johnson is taken into custody -- a hearing will be set to determine whether Johnson did in fact violate his probation. If he did, it could mean jail time.
Johnson is currently in Pasadena, CA -- according to his Twitter page. We reached out to Chad's lawyer -- so far, no response.
Telling apart newly out and proud NBA player Jason Collins from his identical twin brother Jarron Collins just got a whole lot easier.
Jason and Jarron were spotted leaving "Jimmy Kimmel Live" in Hollywood on Wednesday looking pretty similar as usual, except for one thing ... Jarron wore a shirt that highlighted a major difference between them.
As a joke, Kimmel gave Jarron the "I'm the Straight One" t-shirt during his interview on the TV show last night ... not that there's anything wrong with that.
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