There's no way this is real -- just two months after Gisele Bundchen popped out a baby girl ... the Victoria's Secret supermodel whipped her hair back and forth in Hawaii ... LOOKING LIKE THIS.
While every other new mom on the planet has been contemplating excess skin removal surgery, Gisele and her supernatural genes basked in the Hawaiian sun Thursday.
Gisele gave birth to her and Tom Brady's second child on December 5 -- a daughter named Vivian Lake Brady.
Who needs another Super Bowl ring when you have this?
From the back, you'd never know.
Take your pick.
Did we mention his two adorable sons were there too?
When you're Tom Brady ... who needs an Olympic gold medal?
Everyone agrees Tom Brady's pompa-hawk 'do is criminal -- and that Gisele Bundchen is a prime suspect! Well, female TMZers don't necessarily agree ... but it's a process.
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Tom Brady made a bold statement with an absurd new hairdo last night -- I don't care what I look like because my wife is an absurdly hot supermodel!!
Last night at the Met Gala in NYC, Tom -- alongside Gisele Bundchen -- debuted a monstrosity of a 'do we're dubbing the POMPA-HAWK (half pompadour, half mohawk)!
We're guessing Gisele is the evil genius behind the pompa-hawk, which is fitting ... because you'd have to have Gisele on your arm, and Tom's face to even attempt this hairstyle.
So, we gotta ask ...
Evelyn Lozada and Chad Ochocinco (soon to be Johnson again) are busy formulating their wedding guest list -- and Evelyn says that while Chad's superstar teammate Tom Brady is invited ... she doesn't sound so sure he'll attend!
We caught up with Evelyn in NYC yesterday where she said paring down the guest list and deciding who sits near who has been the toughest part of the planning process.
Evelyn said she's only inviting some of her "Basketball Wives" co-stars (we're told Jennifer Williams won't be invited), but she did extend an invite to Tom and Gisele. She told us, "They are invited. I hope they come. They have a busy schedule."
Translation -- either way, she'll get a sweet gift.
Despite the fact the Patriots LOST ... and her hubby threw for a SAFETY ... Gisele Bundchen tried to comfort Tom Brady in the moments after the Super Bowl ... by LYING TO HIS FACE.
TMZ obtained video shot inside the stadium as Tom was on his way to address the media ... in which Gisele chases down Tom ... embraces him ... and whispers, "You played the best game of your life ... you were amazing."
Tom says a few words back ... and seems to appreciate the intent ... but then sends her away to talk to the press ... promising he'll only take a few minutes.
As for the REAL best game of Tom's career ... so many options:
Super Bowl XXXVI -- MVP
Super Bowl XXXVIII -- MVP
Jan. 14, 2012 -- throws for 6 TDs in a playoff game.
Oct. 18, 2009 -- throws 5 TDs in ONE QUARTER!
Jan. 12, 2008 -- completes 92.9% of his passes in a playoff game.
We could go on ... but you get the point.
Gisele Bundchen should have kept her perfectly-shaped mouth shut last night -- this according to multiple sources inside the Patriots organization, who claim the supermodel violated a "code of brotherhood" by bashing Tom Brady's receivers.
Sources tell TMZ, the teammates are "disappointed" Gisele decided to air her grievances after the game last night -- when she said, "My husband cannot f***ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times."
According to sources, Tom's teammates feel betrayed by Gisele's behavior -- the Pats organization is a brotherhood and Gisele's pot shot violated the code -- which is basically ... win as a team, lose as a team.
As one source put it, "It's like knocking someone when they are down."
On her way out of the stadium last night, the supermodel was heckled by New York Giants fans ... one who screamed, "Eli owns your husband."
Gisele didn't shout back ... but turned to a friend and said, "My husband can not f****ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times."
Clearly, G was taking a shot at Wes Welker, Aaron Hernandez ... and every other Pats player who CHOKED during the big game.
The comment was captured on tape and has already hit the Internet.
A short time later, Gisele could be seen comforting her hubby in the bowels of the stadium.
Bikini-clad supermodel Gisele Bundchen Brady showed off her, er, maternal instincts by frolicking on the beach in the Caribbean with her adorable son Benjamin on Friday.
All moms are not created equal.