Celebrity Divorce

Charlie Sheen's ex-wife Brooke took her kids for a walk in Beverly Hills yesterday and began to entertain them mid-hike by turning her walking stick into a sword ... and flailing it around like He-Man.

As we previously reported, her brother Scott was awarded temporary guardianship over the twins while Brooke deals with her latest drug issues ... and he was there too.

Simon Cowell's baby mama, Lauren Silverman, signed a divorce settlement agreement which has a shocking penalty -- if Simon goes near her 7-year-old son, she has to pay her ex a $50,000 PENALTY!

TMZ is privy to the unbelievable settlement agreement, which also provides that if Lauren violates the Simon stay-away clause 3 times, she loses all contact with her son, Adam, until a court deals with the violations.

The Simon stay-away clause only lasts until January, 2015. So presumably the kid can be around Simon in a year ... if he's still part of Lauren's life.

But the plot thickens. The settlement agreement also provides Andrew Silverman, Lauren's ex, cannot trash Simon to Adam and has a legal obligation to make sure no one else around him talks smack.

And there's a clause in the settlement that provides Lauren and Andrew both agree to prevent Adam from calling anyone other than them "mother" or "father." Translation: Simon is not your daddy.

Andrew agrees to pay Lauren $3k a month in child support ... a modest amount and it goes to what TMZ has been reporting ... that Simon will become the cash cow.

Finally, Lauren and Andrew agreed to change the cause of divorce from adultery to "broken down irretrievably."

Simon Cowell's baby mama Lauren Silverman and her ex won't be settling any future disputes through overpaid lawyers -- they've enlisted a trusted mutual friend to hash out their differences ... a man who also happens to be a famous BILLIONAIRE.

According to the divorce settlement, Lauren and Andrew Silverman have named Sir Philip Green as a mediator. Green is the current CEO of the Arcadia Group, which owns the likes of Topshop, and is worth a reported $5.3 billion.

Under the settlement, Green will be one of two mediators (the other being attorney Martin Edelman) for the next 5 years.

We're told the reason Green was named a mediator is because Lauren, Andrew, and Simon each consider him to be a close friend -- and feel comfortable using Green as a neutral go-between.

Fred Ward – that guy from that thing – is NOT getting divorced from his wife Marie-France Boisselle after all … he tells TMZ all their issues are resolved.

TMZ broke the story back in August … Marie filed for divorce citing the usual irreconcilable differences … but she changed her mind later that month … and filed a request for dismissal on Aug. 30th.

Ward – who’s been a character actor in over 70 films – tells us "We had filed for divorce and quickly thereafter withdrew the paper work because we had resolved our issues. After 18 years of marriage we are still very much in love."

He doesn't get Charlie Sheen's vote of confidence -- but Brooke Mueller's brother Scott firmly believes he's got what it takes to look after Charlie and Brooke's 4-year-old twins.

As we reported, Scott was awarded temporary guardianship over Bob and Max while Brooke deals with her latest drug issues. The children's former guardian Denise Richards decided she could no longer care for the boys, and blames Brooke for screwing them up.

Charlie Sheen just learned a cool lesson -- you can call a judge in your custody war an "anus brain" and get away with it, even with a gag order ... and that's exactly what just happened.

We've learned the judge in the DCFS case called all the lawyers in this afternoon for an emergency meeting. Sources connected with Brooke Mueller tell TMZ ... the judge wanted to have a chit chat about Charlie's latest Twitter rant and his appearances on TMZ Live.

You'll recall Charlie exploded on Twitter Friday, calling the folks at Child Services "lascivious and incompetent." Sheen then directed his ire at the judge, calling him "Mr. I'm Italian judge anus-brain."

And Charlie went on "TMZ Live" a couple weeks ago and blasted Brooke, calling her an evil whore who's endangering their children.

Our sources say the judge decided it would NOT be in anyone's best interest to hold a contempt hearing, for fear it would turn into a "circus." So we're told Charlie's lawyer promised his client would muzzle himself and be a good boy. And that was good enough for the judge.

Brooke Mueller is quietly smiling to herself -- because she believes she's already won her custody battle against Charlie Sheen ... all thanks to his self-sabotaging rants ... and it's gonna cost him big.

Sources close to Brooke tell TMZ, they believe Brooke has gained the upper hand in the custody war after Charlie's foul-mouthed blustering against Brooke, the judge, and the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services.

Thanks to the diatribes, we're told DCFS now believes Charlie is off his rocker ... and it's more inclined than ever to give Brooke full custody of twins Bob and Max, which is what DCFS always wanted.

But that's not it -- we're told Brooke isn't just confident she'll get full custody, she believes the judge will now award her even MORE child support from Charlie than she previously received ($55,000 per month).

Ca-ching!

8:50 AM PT -- Sources close to Brooke tell us, Brooke is looking to move because she believes that's what the court wants. We're told Brooke is under the impression she can't live under the same roof as her children -- and when her brother Scott moves in today with the twins, she feels she's required to find another place to live full-time until her custody rights are fully restored.

Brooke Mueller seems to be subscribing to the adage, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," because she's got her sights set on moving out of Charlie Sheen's neighborhood.

Brooke was shopping for condos in Bev Hills Monday ... just a day before twins Bob and Max will be living with her full-time, under the watchful eye of Brooke's brother Scott.

Here's what's interesting. Brooke has been living in a house Charlie bought just blocks from where he lives. Things have gotten so bad between the 2, Charlie has been making noises that she's becoming persona non grata, so condo shopping is not surprising.

As for who will end up paying for the condo ... it's likely good ol' Charlie will end up footing the bill. Brooke's child support was sliced in half after losing custody, but now that the kids will be living with her full-time, it's a safe bet Charlie will have to ante up $55k a month, just like in the good ol' days.

Clint Eastwood's soon-to-be ex-wife is looking to make some pocket change ... she's going back to her roots -- figuratively -- TMZ has learned Dina Eastwood is going back to anchoring the news at her old TV station.

People at KSBW in Monterey, CA tell TMZ ... Dina will be anchoring the 5PM newscast beginning today and will appear part-time on the newscasts. The News Director, Lawton Dodd, tells TMZ, Dina will be anchoring daily for the next 2 weeks (SWEEPS!) and will come back from time to time.

Dina was an anchor between 1991 and 1996. She met Clint in 1992, when she interviewed him for the newscast.

Dina filed for divorce last month. There are reports Clint had an iron-clad prenup so ... every little bit helps.

Kevin Federline finally met the man who's taking the weight off of him -- Britney Spears' new BF -- a guy who's spending a lot of time these days with K-Fed's sons -- but Kevin tells us he doesn't feel threatened at all ... and even kinda likes the guy.

As we reported ... Kevin was front and center at his son's soccer game this weekend with Brit and David Lucado. Kevin says he and Lucado have spoken before ... but this is the first time they've actually met face-to-face.

Charlie Sheen runs into his neighbor, DCFS honcho Charles Sophy, who's incredulous Sheen trashed him on Twitter.

SOPHY
Charlie, you're such a jerk. This isn't gonna help your case with the twins.

SHEEN
Shut up you miscreant! You're as warped as Judge Anus Brain.

[SCENE]

You could be watching this confrontation soon, because TMZ has learned a TV production company has contacted Dr. Charles Sophy, the Medical Director of the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services, asking him if he would participate in a TV series profiling the real-life drama/comedy in Charlie Sheen's gated community.

Sources connected with the production company tell us ... they saw the post on TMZ, in which we revealed Dr. Sophy lives in the very same gated community as Charlie Sheen, Denise Richards, Brooke Mueller and all the kiddies. And don't forget Paris Hilton, who lives down the block.

We're told the production company wants to do a loosely-based series and asked Dr. Sophy if he was interested in helping. We're told Sophy in no uncertain terms said he was not interested.

It is pretty compelling -- in a city as big as L.A., everyone involved in the drama lives blocks apart from each other and, we're told, they pass each other often on the street. Sources tell us ... the only person who has been fairly anonymous was Sophy, who was not recognizable.

Our Brooke sources say Brooke didn't realize Sophy was her neighbor until he called her in for a meeting with Denise last week.

Our sources say the production company has NOT given up on the idea.

Stay tuned.

Mark Burg, Charlie's manager, tells TMZ, Charlie is exclusive to FX, so thanks but no thanks.

Ancient Chinese philosopher Clint Eastwood say ... only fools rush in to love, but he can't help telling them to think twice about marriage.

Clint's soon-to-be ex-wife Dina Ruiz filed for divorce last month, which explains why last night in Brentwood ... his big marriage advice was ... don't do it without putting in serious thought. But you gotta hear how Clint says it -- the wound is clearly fresh.

So dudes planning to propose ... you gotta ask yourself one question.

Charlie Sheen is a self-absorbed, psychologically screwed-up parent who is quick to blame others for the plight of his twins, but unwilling to step up to the plate ... so claims the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services.

DCFS sources tell TMZ ... they're pissed that Charlie is hurling grenades at everyone involved in the mess that has become his family -- calling Brooke Mueller a "whore," the judge an "anus brain" and DCFS "incompetent and lascivious."

Our DCFS sources -- who work in the trenches -- say Charlie has NEVER made a real move to take custody of Bob and Max. As one source put it, "He cares more about his drugs and porn stars than he does the kids."

There seem to be 2 schools of thought at DCFS -- one is that Charlie is so psychologically screwed up and angry that he should never have the kids, and the other that he has never given the Dept. the chance to take a serious look at him as a custodial parent.

Either way ... DCFS -- not fans.

5:55 PST -- Charlie just tweeted this picture saying "a day of miracles on a field of dreams ... hashtag a real modern family."

Charlie Sheen's latest rant shockingly has not incited Brooke Mueller or the L.A. County Department of Children Services into running to court for a contempt citation ... but when Sheen comes face to face with "Judge Anus" it could be a whole different story.

Multiple sources involved in the case tell TMZ ... Charlie's Twitter rant Friday night -- in which he railed on Brooke, DCFS and the judge -- CLEARLY violates the gag order but they don't feel the need to have Charlie thrown in jail.

Our sources say Brooke's reasoning is that it's not her place to put Charlie in the pokey. As for DCFS ... they think it's simply evidence that Charlie is psychologically imbalanced.

The judge is a different story. As we first reported, hizzonor made it clear this week to Sheen ... if he opened his trap about the case one more time he's going to jail. Now that Charlie has called the judge "Mr. I'm Italian judge anus-brain" it seems almost certain Charlie has forced the judges hand.

Charlie Sheen just violated the gag order in his custody case in a spectacular way, calling the judge Mr. "I'm Italian judge anus-brain," and threatening him if his kids are hurt in the newest custody configuration.

It's something of an understatement to say Charlie is not pleased that the judge just made Brooke Mueller's brother Scott the temporary guardian of twins Bob and Max. The judge also allowed Scott and the kids to live with Brooke so they could be close to school. That effectively puts Brooke back in the position of having full custody while she tries to beat her latest drug abuse problem.

Charlie just tweeted, "So lemme see if I got this straight ... my twin boys are now in harm's way and in grave danger, being 'raised' by a gaggle of incompetent and lascivious marionettes all ruled and fooled by an Adderall snorting husk called Brooke."

Now it gets good ... "And guess what CPS and 'I'm Italian' judge anus-brain, you may have gagged me temporarily, but mark my unspoken words, anything happens to my boys, and you will get to know me, know who I truly am, a loving father."

He ends, "Tag -- I'm it."

The judge just hauled Charlie into court a few days ago, telling him he's going to jail if he violates the gag order again.