DUI

The streets were also filled with stumbling society girls and drunk debutantes, and one classy birthday girl who left paps disgusted after flashing her ta-tas.

All this and more in today's "got milk?" edition of Bar Catcher.

Security watched -- one with his pistol ready -- as the bloodied brawler's pathetic attempts to get around his female friends failed. The gun-toting guards seemed wary of what the ruffian was determined to retrieve from the trunk of his car. More liquor perhaps?

One of our cameramen spotted an extension wearing, tweaked out brunette in front of Hyde last night -- no, not Britney. It looked like a war zone outside of some of the other clubs, with a herd of ladies struggling to find the energy to remain upright. DUI nightcaps are not fun, darlings! Please, people, choose your designated drivers! Dranks to that!

All this and more in today's Bar Catcher.

UPDATE: TMZ just received the following statement from Angle's attorney:

"Kurt Angle maintains his innocence relative to the charges brought by the police in this matter. The improper arrest occurred in the middle of the afternoon after Mr. Angle showed no signs of intoxication. The police have no blood alcohol content and not firsthand knowledge of his operation of his vehicle. We believe the motivation for this arrest is based upon Kurt Angle's celebrity status and we are confident that we will prevail when the truth becomes evident."

Kurt Angle, the former WWE and current TNA wrestling star, was charged with DUI and careless driving after being pulled over on the afternoon of September 28.

Angle was arrested at his home in Moon Township, Penn. after a witness spotted a white Cadillac Escalade driving erratically after pulling out of a local bar. The registration of that vehicle led police to Angle's home, where cops say he admitted to driving the vehicle and that he had just left the bar in question.

Officers then say Angle showed "signs of intoxication," and they administered a field sobriety test, which he failed. Angle was then placed under arrest and taken to a local hospital where he refused to take a blood test.

No future hearing has been set.

Angle won an Olympic gold medal in freestyle wrestling in 1996. Calls to Angle's reps were not immediately returned.

• Kurt Angle DUI Press Release

The big-boobed beauty got the boot at Crimson over the weekend ... and embarrassed herself in front of TMZ cameras when she was too drunk to put together one sentence after another. Shame be gone!

That girl is none other than Jessica Kramer, a onetime Playboy Cybergirl and current Internet T&A fleshtrepreneur.

When she watched herself on TMZ TV Monday, she admitted on her MySpace page it was, "not one of my proudest moments, but what's done is done and I had a great night!"

TMZ was outside of Crimson last night, where one fantastically chested female got the boot for drinking too much. Slurring her every word, homegirl tried to prove she was sober -- she wasn't successful.

After attempting to run back into the club a few times, one of her buddies threw her in a taxi, where she proceeded to cuss out our cameraman and punish him in the worst way possible -- by flashing her incredible cleavage. The horror!

"30 Rock" star Tracy Morgan admitted in court today to consuming alcohol on August 4 -- a violation of his probation stemming from a DUI conviction.

As a result, Morgan was ordered to wear the SCRAM device an additional 80 days and complete 10 AA meetings by October 23.

If he violates his probation again, Los Angeles City Attorney spokesman Frank Mateljan tells TMZ that Morgan would go to County Jail for 30 days.

Morgan violated his probation in Los Angeles when he was arrested for D.U.I. on November 28 of last year in New York.

One of the girls-gone-raunchy lifted her dress and invented a new way to come up smellin' like a rose -- you just have to see it. All this tasteful action is accompanied by the requisite garbled speech and stumbling.

This past week's nude photo scandal isn't the first for "High School Musical" star Vanessa Hudgens, say some sources.

A source close to Hudgens told People that two years ago, before she was famous, Hudgens emailed suggestive pix of herself to Nickelodeon star Drake Bell -- star of the "Drake and Josh" show. No word on if she rang his bell.

A rep for Drake says he never received the alleged sexy shots.

Rapper Fifty Cent must be on edge about his upcoming September 11 record release battle with Kanye West. Mr. Half Dollah's been extra snappish lately: at the recent Fashion Rocks show in NYC, the super-pumped Fiddy was super nasty to a member of Tyra Banks' entourage.

Banks' handler accidentally nudged the rapper as he was walking into the event, reports Gatecrasher, and Fiddy lashed out.

"What the [bleep] is wrong with you? How you gonna bump me?" he cried. Big men -- so delicate inside!

This past April, rapper Eve struck a plea agreement following a DUI arrest, and was ordered to wear an alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet -- just like the SCRAM anklet Lindsay Lohan voluntarily wore.

After five months, the delicious diva is happily reporting that the monitoring contraption will come off -- just in time for tonight's VMA's. Party!

The attacker was fuming because her picture had been taken, and fought wildly -- despite her friend's valiant attempts to pry her hands off the peaceful pap's electronics. The girl's persistent appendages caught the photog in some of those "hard to reach" areas -- warranting a visit by the local five-O.

The friend was handcuffed first and left to steam in the backseat of the cruiser, until the attacker was finally 'cuffed, wailing, "because they took some pictures of me!"

The commotion causing cadets were eventually let go.

A wobbly, dazed and confused Sienna Miller (right) needed her human crutch as she exited the launch of her new fashion line, Twenty8Twelve, in London on Thursday. Walk for me!

Without the assistance, it could have been bottom's up for Sien!

Talk about a smart move! Nicole Richie snuck into jail today to serve her sentence for DUI.

She was booked at the Lynwood Jail, where Paris did her time, at 3:15 this afternoon. Great move by her lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley. While all the attention was focused on Lindsay, no one was watching Nicole.

Nicole is being processed right now. Her photo hasn't even been taken. A Sheriff's guy says she's still being processed.

Nicole was sentenced to four days in the pokey for driving the wrong way on an L.A. freeway while under the influence. She was given credit for 1 day because she was in the slammer for 6 hours after her arrest.

Because of overcrowding, it's possible -- but not certain -- Nicole will be a free woman when we all wake up tomorrow.

When it comes to this wayward quartet of performers/DUIers/trainwrecks there's a wealth of material -- and DK Smoove Dawg is going for the gold!

"Rock of Love" "stars" Brandi C. and Kristia, "I Love New York" "hunk" Heat, and Schliz from TV Guide's "America's Next Producer" caused quite the train wreck last night on Hollywood Boulevard -- with the foursome so desperate for attention, they were willing to do practically anything to get in front of a camera.

Shouting over each other with such elegant phrases as, "We're not makin' love, we're doing the dirty thing," and "We're wild!" -- the group was like a grinding orgy of "drunk girl" impersonators -- each plugging their respective and unrespectable shows. Not content without having the last word, Heat ripped open his shirt to show off his muscle-bound bod and tattoos -- while breaking into a memorably horrible rap.