Land of the Rising Hasselhoff?

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Germans better watch out, because David Hasselhoff is also Big in Japan -- at least according to his t-shirt! Cue your Alphaville records!

The Hoff was spotted in the Far East themed fashion as he left an L.A. gym on Wednesday -- gotta work off all them cheeseburgers!

Now if only he'd say sayonara to America!

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Forget Purple Prince Likes It Black!

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Setting up shop in London for the next three weeks, Prince wants things his way at the Dorchester Hotel -- very, very dark.

"He wants everything to be black, from the curtains and carpets to all the furniture," an insider tells the Daily Star. "His entourage even asked for a black M&Ms machine, as well as an oxygen bar which will be manned by a team of foxy women." Hey, Apollonia is probably available -- it's her birthday!!

Earlier this year, Prince reportedly asked organizers of the BRIT Awards to instruct people backstage not to look him in the eye. Little man, big demands!

Paris Launches Line of Boat-Sized Shoes

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Paging all streetwalkers, drag queens and hobbits! Walking in Paris Hilton's size 11 pumps just got a little bit easier! Shoes! Oh my gosh, shoes!

The heiress betch has partnered with Antebi Footwear to create Paris Hilton Footwear -- a line of "chic and trendy" shoes. Bigfoot never looked so dainty!

P's plus-sized collection is expected to hit stores in early 2008 -- in plenty of time to get your hooves to the pedicurist!

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Vanessa Minnillo Still Has a Job

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Despite those controversial knife-wielding LiLo photos and hardcore sex pics with borefriend Nick Lachey, former "TRL" host Vanessa Minnillo can still count on her BONGO check to pay the bills! Babalu!

TMZ has obtained pics of Lady Lachey's new ads for Bongo's Fall 2007 campaign -- unfortunately, they're rated PG!

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The End of the Shirtless Wonder?

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TMZ has learned that Matthew McConaughey's gal pal, sexy Brazilian model Camila Alves, has done the unthinkable -- and bought the sweaty, muscled hunk a t-shirt! Say it ain't so, Mateo!

Camila hit up the trendy Mosci boutique on Melrose Ave. for some summer must-haves -- and a teal blue Naguchi t-shirt for Matt. Don't she know he hates tops!

Who can blame Camila for trying to cover up her adwhoreable man from the world, but most peeps would prefer Matty in nothing -- well, except some Speed Stick!

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Liz Taylor Goes Hip-Hop

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They say a fashion trend is officially dead when your grandmother adopts the look. Perhaps hip-hop is finally dead ... but not 75-year-old Liz Taylor! Yo!

The original train wreck and bling blinger, Dame Elizabeth Taylor, was seen lumbering down the stairs from a private jet returning from Hawaii, and the eight-times-married legend was wearing an Ed Hardy cap and enough gold chains and crucifixes to make even Fiddy jealous.

The purple-eyed icon needed some help down the steps, but walked down on her own power, managing not to break a hip, just be hip. Hip-hop is dead. Long live Liz!

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Michael Stipe Goes Zoolander

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Move over Kate Moss, there's a new emaciated supermodel taking over the fashion world -- Michael Stipe?!

With every other celeb and model booked, fashion designer Marc Jacobs has chosen the bald, rail thin REM frontman for his fall ad campaign. It's the end of the world as we know it!

Jacobs knows that nothing sells clothes like the sight of a shirtless, bird-shouldered 47-year-old man in neon blue pants! Nurse!

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James King Offers King James Blessing for Lilo

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The supermodel with a man's name, James King, was startled by photogs at LAX yesterday on her arrival from New York. Hey, girl!

Draped in drab gray sweater enhanced by a blingin' iceberg of an engagement ring, the "Sin City" starlet was asked what she thought about Lindsay Lohan, saying, "Maybe it's a blessing in disguise." King should know -- in the '90s she had her own well-publicized teenage battles with drugs and alcohol before getting sober. Perhaps there's hope for Lilo yet!

King is engaged to Kyle Newman -- who directed her in "Fanboys," due in early '08.

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Dubya: Fashion Fascist!

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With 543 days left in office, George W. Bush has beefed up security at the White House so much, he's now enlisted the services of one of the most dreaded forces in the Western world -- the Fashion Police!

Despite approval ratings at record lows, the ongoing war in Iraq and a health care system in dire straits, Dubya has decided to take on the very serious issue of -- tour group attire! The terror alert has been raised to: Fanny Pack! Signs have reportedly been put up around White House entrances to remind visitors of the dress code: no jeans, sneakers, shorts, mini-skirts, t-shirts, tank tops, and most importantly, NO FLIP FLOPS! Paging the Northwestern women's lacrosse team!

With the new policy, the White House now has a more stringent dress code than the Vatican! Further proof that Bushie wants only conservatives in his White House. The Pontiff merely asks for covered shoulders, no shorts or skirts above the knee. Holy chic!

Sunday in the Park with Yoko

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Grace Slick wasn't the only rock fossil to emerge from her cocoon this weekend! Rock of ages!

74-year-old celebuwidow Yoko Ono turned up at a gala event in the Hamptons on Sunday -- dressed like the Mad Hatter's lunatic bride. I don't!

When it comes to insanely inappropriate ensembles -- septuagenarians do it better! Yoko loco!

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Nick Nolte: Fisherman's Friend?

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Fresh from his curious airport "nap" in Hawaii, a raggedy Nick Nolte was snapped outside a restaurant in Malibu this weekend, looking like a messed up lab tech on the USS Casablanca.

Reports have attributed his derelict behavior to "role research." Is he doing Lohan's biopic?

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Katie Holmes Continues to Scientolo-age

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TMZ isn't the only one to notice that 28-year-old robomom Katie Holmes is already going through the change! She needs diuretics, not Dianetics!

Last month, TMZ pointed out how the third Mrs. Cruise appeared to be morphing from a young Hollywood starlet into a middle-aged yenta. These hot flashes are killin' me! Now even Us Weekly is picking up on the Bride of Xenu's marm-alicious metamorphosis by comparing Katie's menopausal mode to 50-year-old Princess Caroline of Monaco! She's gone from Dawson's Creek to Golden Pond!

Nothing ages a gal like being married ... against her will!

Lohan ODs ... on Denim

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Despite 45 days in come-and-go rehab, newly-legal Lindsay Lohan has taken up a new addiction -- all denim ensembles!

Linds was snapped feeding a meter in Beverly Hills on Monday, dressed in a denim Ice Capades babydoll over a pair of slightly flared dungarees. A girl can't hide a SCRAM bracelet under skinny jeans!

This head-to-toe denim disaster is one instance where LiLo's mommie dearest Dina can't be blamed for the bad jeans!

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Ashley: Red Menace

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Tiny twin Ashley Olsen was spotted outside her Los Angeles office in this surprisingly respectable ensemble -- despite the candy-colored eyewear that looks like a cereal box prize.

It's amazing that the petite millionairess can balance that gigantic purse while wearing those 5" heel peep-toe slingback pumps! That's talent!

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Celeb Fashion Animal Instincts!

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Meeeeeeeeeeow! The stars have got their animal instincts -- which sometimes lead them astray! Welcome to the jungle!

Check out all the stray kitties and other critters in our Animal Instincts gallery!

Need more, dawgs? Grab a vine and swing on in to our "Frightening Fangs" and "Chowing Down" galleries.

Getting Into Paris' Pants Is About to Get a Lot Easier

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Paris Hilton wants to give you the jeans off her backside -- and you don't even have to buy her a drink first!

Sources tell TMZ that the former jailbird flew to San Francisco on Wednesday for a top secret meeting with Macy's executives to discuss her new denim line. Let's hope they're not crotchless! We're told the reaction from Macy's was amazing, so expect to see Paris jeans at a mall near you -- in sizes Small, Emaciated and Nicole.

Paris used a post-prison photo-op to debut her namesake jeans outside the Lynwood jail last month.

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