Hot Bodies

Funnylady/gay icon Kathy Griffin will be featured in an article in the next Steppin' Out magazine scored by editor Chaunce Hayden. Congrats to the "D-List" comedienne -- whose dream has finally come true! She nabbed the cover! Atta gurl! Wait -- is that KATHY??

Our TMZ Star Kvetcher camera caught the nonagenarian in a snappy tie and tweed coat, and he was happily chatty, remembering when "Merv Griffin weighed 300 pounds in the '40s and was singing with Freddie Martin in San Francisco." Linkletter, along with Merv, is said to be one of the wealthiest men in entertainment, having invested in everything from oil and natural gas to hotels and even the Hula Hoop!

Linkletter was the host of the opening of Disneyland in Anaheim -- in 1955, and is 16 years older than Mickey Mouse! Art was born the year the Titanic sank ... during the Taft administration! And now he's on TMZ ... with Lindsay Lohan. Linkletter has been an anti-drug activist since losing his 20-year-old daughter Diane in 1969, in what was believed to have been a drug-induced suicide.

Mary Louise Parker's performance on Showtime's marijuana-themed comedy, "Weeds," is critically acclaimed, but it's her rockin' bod that has hit a new high! MILF alert!

The 42-year-old actress/mom appears in nothing but a long, slithering snake in ads for the third season of the series. Parker is smokin' hot!

TMZ spies spotted Gummi, human name Jason Davis, with a male friend at gourmet donut shop Frittelli's on Wednesday -- in Gummiworld it's always time to make the doughnuts! And in a story right out of Ripley's Believe It or Not, we're told the Gumster actually looked "much thinner." Has he sworn off kegs as well?! We're also told the clumsy bear was sporting a dark suit and a HUGE scab on his forehead. Fall out of a cake?

Sources tell us GB ordered a caramel frappuccino and said, "I'm gonna look at the doughnuts, but not touch. I'm trying to be good." In a related story, hell froze over today!

It's been three years since Jennifer Hawkins was crowned Miss Universe, but the 23-year-old beauty could still win just about any swimsuit competition in the world! G'day mate!

The leggy Australian showed off her red bikini (and her God-given talents) while walking on the topless beaches of Formentera, Spain. Que guapa! While Hawkins, unfortunately kept her top on, who wouldn't want to go down under with her!

The smokin' hot Navy Lieutenant turned reality star tried out his boxing skills Tuesday on Venice Beach and, sadly, didn't exactly pack a punch!

As to where his ABC-contracted fiancee Tessa Horst was -- don't ask, don't tell!

Nicole, who released her first solo single featuring TI, was in the glamorous port city of San Pedro, Calif. yesterday -- filming the video for the song. According to sources on set, Nicole was dressed in a skimpy, bronze-colored designer bathing suit and then asked to do some crazy yoga poses. Our source said that Scherzinger was not too happy about the outfit and told execs that she "looked like a whore." Understandable, since she's used to those ladylike Pussycat Doll outfits. Shooting continued for a short period until execs agreed that she did, in fact, look like a hooker! Shock!

The set was immediately cleared until a new, more tasteful outfit was found for the sexual poses. You can dress a wolf in sheep's clothing ... or something like that.

TMZ has learned that the porny business juggernaut is creating and starring in her own series of comic books, featuring a leather-clad, g-string wearing heroine named "Shadow Hunter." Even though she's practically pulling her shirt off in the exclusive cover art obtained by TMZ, we're told that Jenna's animated alter-ego will not expose her sketchy smooth southern parts. How easily hope is snatched away.

TMZ has learned that Jason "Gummi Bear" will be attending an outpatient detox facility to deal with his plethora of issues, but according to his rep, "Jason is not in rehab. He did not check himself into treatment. He's not receiving outpatient treatment and is not receiving counseling." Got that?

Oh where, oh where has the Gummi Bear gone?!

Rehab does the Lohan good! Va va voom!

Lindsay Lohan revealed her sexy slammin' body in a hot pink bikini outside the Polaroid Beach House in Malibu on Saturday. Finally, some curves Linds can handle without proof of insurance!

Besides the titillating two-piece, a pair of gold strappy heels (with toenails to match) and "Risky Business" shades, LiLo sported the newest accessory taking Hollywood by alcohol-induced storm-- the SCRAM bracelet. Soberlicious!

David and Victoria Beckham held on to each other's best assets as the newly arrived immigrants entered their Tom Cruise-hosted welcome party on Sunday.

The Ends.

Perez debuted his orange and yellow marshmallow surprise, while Sheryl Crow took the new babe for a cruise.

Sadly, the pic of the week was blocked, when Becks slapped a helping hand on Posh's crotch. That's a week in the Zone!

Want more delightful retina massage? Click on in to our "Aged to Perfection" and "Brit's Strip 'n Dip" galleries.

Is that "Flavor of Love's" Deelishis -- or did someone roll up Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Biel and Kim KardASSian under a skin tight lime green mini-dress?! Back phat!

Deelishis, aka London Charles, showed off her hypnotizing and super-sized asset at some random event in DC on Thursday. Some fries with that shake?!

In comparison, Deelishis' "Flavor" co-star, Bukeey, appears to merely have a booty in training.

The two pseudo-ladies frolicked around in the surf, with Audrina getting an unfortunate wedgie at one point. LC's ex-boyfriend (and Hayley Duff's rumored current beau) Brody Jenner got rough on the sand with buddy Frankie Delgado. Sources tell TMZ that Jenner actually broke his finger while playing football with Frankie at the house, was taken to the hospital and proudly returned to show off his X-rays.

The group was at the Beachbody Silver Spoon House in Malibu, filming scenes for the upcoming season of the MTV reality show "The Hills." Heidi and Spencer, the show's most beloved couple, were not invited to the party.

Madge is in amazing shape for a 48-year-old mother of two three, but her gruesomely muscled arms appear to have been reassembled with the bony remains of a dead crow. Caw!

Can someone please get the Material Girl some material to cover up those limbs?!