Can You Name That Jackson?!
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What the hell happened to Janet Jackson?!
Oh, wait. La Toya Jackson looks absolutely amazing!
The 52-year-old kook should wear Janet's brown wig more often.
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Selma Blair -- Not Razor Sharp
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Perhaps foreshadowing the fate of her new sitcom, Selma Blair bit it big time while riding a Razor scooter.
Selma is the breakout star of the fall season -- literally.
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It's Time for an Intervention!
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Everyone is entitled to a bad hair day and outfit every once in a while, but Helena Bonham Carter has completely used up all of her get out of styling cards!
After being spotted dressed like this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, the 42-year-old mother of two once again orthopedically stepped out in London on Wednesday, looking like a homeless aristocratic 19th Century vagabond loon.
Someone please tell Helena she's not contractually bound to dress like she's in a Tim Burton film in her real life too. Or is she?!
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Save the Trauma for Yo' Mama!
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No pain, no fame! See which celebs have their asses in a sling!
Liv & Valentino's True Colors
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Liv Tyler and Italian fashion designer Valentino showed up to an event together in NYC last night -- in matching orange outfits.
Real beauty like Liv's will never fade -- and neither will Val's tan.
Calamity Kane Danity Singer Faceplants
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One of the girls from Danity Kane who isn't Aubrey O'Day got down on stage at Youngstown University this weekend -- literally.
Do you have a first aid kit handy?
Hugh Hefner -- So So Def!
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Def -- adj. -- to describe a person, thing, or event that is cool.
"Yo dawg, Hugh Hefner brought like 5 hot blonde skeezers out clubbin' in Hollywood last night -- that dude is def."
Oh, he also can't hear very well anymore.
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Star Jones Gorges on a Tongue Sandwich
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With EMT workers no where to be found, divorcing diva Star Jones and her new man friend performed some sloppy mouth-to--mouth resuscitation on each other while at the U.S. Open on Tuesday.
In the picture below, it appears Star reverted to her first love.
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Jags Lineman Collier Shot, Fighting for Life
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Jacksonville Jaguars tackle Richard Collier is fighting for his life after being shot several times early this morning.
Collier was waiting outside an apartment building when a gunman shot into the car he was in. A Sheriff's rep says the six-foot-seven, 300-plus-pound Collier was shot several times but it's not clear where he was injured. He was taken to a local hospital where his injuries have been described as "life-threatening."
The motive for the attack hasn't been determined, and an investigation is ongoing.
Stacy Keibler Will Drink You Under the Table
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Former WWE diva turned "Dancing with the Stars" booty shaker Stacy Keibler got her groove on -- and then some -- by knocking back shots at a Manhattan Beach bar on Thursday night.
Notice the unsucked lime still sitting on the table. Stacy don't need no sissy lime.
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Madge Won't Disrobe for Airport Security
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Like a grandma, Madonna went through airport security in Berlin on Thursday ... wearing a bathrobe!
At 50, Madge may not be old for her age, just a little senile.
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Cyrus Struck by Poser Virus
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Miley Cyrus' father Billy Ray ... striking a pose similar to Rodin's The Thinker, except he doesn't have his hand on his chin and he rarely thinks.
We expect Mr. Montana will blame poor Annie Leibovitz for this one, too.
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Lil' Wayne's Big Medical Mystery
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Lil' Wayne didn't show up for yet another court appearance -- and he's pinning it on "medical reasons" again.
If that sounds familiar -- Lil' Dubya begged off an NYC court date earlier this month, saying his doctor forbade him from flying. And yesterday, in Yuma, Ariz., Wayne missed another court appearance on drug charges.
We've been told the problem's all up in his grillz -- as in his orthodonture. We've put in a call to his lawyer, but no bites yet.
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Applegate Gets the Breast News Ever
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Reports surfaced fifteen days ago that Christina Applegate had breast cancer -- and now the actress is "Absolutely 100 percent clear and clean."
According to an interview Apple had with GMA that airs Tuesday, she says, "It did not spread. They got everything out, so I'm definitely not going to die from breast cancer."
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Wino Says Cheers, Crowd Jeers
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Amid a throng of boos and with her Jesus Juice in hand, medical oddity Amy Winehouse barely managed to crack out a performance at an English music festival over the weekend. Check out some of the lowlights.
Frenchie Whips Fetish Fans Into a Frenzy
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Her famously restricting ties to the world of bondage won't get "American Idol" reject Frenchie Davis booted off of her latest gig -- in fact, it probably got her the job!
Like many a wannabeen before her, the Season 2 loser performed at a Toronto street fair over the weekend, but this was no local balloon festival -- it was a leather and fetish fair! The safe word is "desperate."
Frenchie's kinky gig actually makes perfect sense, since going on "Idol" requires being a masochist.