Celebrity Divorce

Charlie Sheen is killing Brooke Mueller with kindness -- at least he really, really wants to -- because he just wished his ex-wife a happy birthday with a special piece of cake (topped with a grenade).

FYI, it's not actually Brooke's birthday (that's in August) but it didn't stop Charlie from writing this message on Twitter, "Happy Bday Brooke. When you're done sucking off the parking lot at Home Depot, why don't ya 'blow' out this candle?"

Now that's love.

Oh yeah, if you recognize the cake ... that's because it's the same cake Charlie got for his recent "Anger Management" party.

The Warlock has returned.

Brooke Mueller is on the attack ... gunning for Charlie Sheen, who called her a whore, drug addict and terrible parent on TMZ -- and if she gets her way Charlie could end up in jail.

We just received a subpoena from Brooke's lawyers, ordering us to preserve the video and audio interviews we did with Charlie last Friday. Where to begin. Charlie said Brooke has damaged their twins emotionally, to the point they're on the verge of getting kicked out of school. He says every time the kids visit with Brooke, they come home completely freaked out and suffer from night terrors.

Our sources say Brooke's lawyers will go to court with our video and audio and argue Charlie has violated the gag order and should be punished -- possibly with jail -- and have his visitation curtailed.

Charlie told us the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services cares more about protecting and rehabilitating Brooke than protecting the twins. He also calls the judge in the case "The Dishonorable Judge Douchebag." Charlie also called him fat.

The subpoena orders us to hand over the video and audio interviews we did with Charlie. What ... they don't watch TMZ Live?

Brooke Mueller just got rejected in court -- a judge has refused to issue a restraining order against Charlie Sheen for allegedly threatening her life last week.

Brooke filed the request for a temporary restraining order against Sheen following his anti-Brooke tirade last week (below), when he told "TMZ Live" Brooke is an evil whore who's putting their twins' lives in danger. He said he would be gunning for full custody come hell or high water.

In her petition, Brooke quotes Charlie saying, "[T]here will be a reckoning. There will be a whirlwind. That they will all reap while desperate begging for my forgiveness. You've all been warned."

And, "I will exercise every resource at my disposal. I will, I will, I will, I will empty my entire war chest and if I can't get it done, I know a guy who can."

For her part, Brooke insists she's maintaining her sobriety and Charlie is on a mission to sabotage her. Brooke says she's even scared Charlie will plant drugs on her.

But the judge wasn't buying her case ... he flat out denied her emergency request for a restraining order ... at least for now.

The judge set a hearing for next month for Brooke to make her case again in person.

Tan Mom has no interest in patching things up with her husband ... kicking him out of the house just hours after filing for divorce ... and we got pics of their not-so-tearful goodbye.

Patricia Krentcil a.k.a. Tan Mom gave her now estranged husband Richard the actual heave-ho Saturday morning ... after serving him with divorce papers the night before.

It's kinda sad since Richard told us he wants to work things out -- but since TM's been cracking jokes in her stand-up act about his small penis ... we're guessing she's looking to kick-start her sex life.

Tan Mom's marriage is OVER -- and shockingly, she's the one calling it off -- this according to divorce docs filed in New Jersey and obtained by TMZ.

Just 3 weeks after Patricia Krentcil bitched about the size of her hubby's allegedly tiny penis during her disastrous stand-up comedy debut, Tan Mom has officially filed for divorce from Richard Krentcil.

Tan Mom tells TMZ ... she decided to call off the 8-year marriage because Richard recently failed a lie detector test about infidelity on a TV show called "The Test."

In the docs, Tan Mom demands $500 per week in spousal support PLUS $500 per week in child support so she can care for their 2 children. Tan Mom is also asking for full custody.

We spoke to Richard who tells us ... he wants to STAY with Patricia and hopes they can work out their issues.

He's got his work cut out for him, because in Tan Mom's stand-up act, she complained that her sex life was terrible -- "OK, let's have an orgasm, NOT!"

Charlie Sheen is scoffing at Brooke Mueller's team, which is trying to nail him for talking about Brooke on TMZ, saying, "If this is what they want, bring it 'cause I'll burn the house down."

Charlie is reacting to our story, in which we reported Brooke's team will ask a judge to sanction him for allegedly violating the gag orders in the custody and guardianship cases. Charlie called Brooke an evil whore -- among many other things -- who has done great damage to their twins.

Charlie is especially angry Brooke is getting her first overnight visit with the twins since she went to rehab. He tells TMZ Live his security guards will stand outside her house tonight and barge in if there's a sign of trouble.

Charlie tells TMZ, "Really, they're going to jail me for telling the truth"

And get this ... Charlie says, "If I actually go to jail for talking, I'll do interviews in jail," adding, "The only person more idiotic than Brooke in this case is the judge. The Dishonorable Judge Douchebag."

But wait ... there's more. Charlie says, "He [the judge] wants to put me in jail for trying to save my boys? Go for it, fatty. I'll eat his lunch from jail." And one more thing about the obviously large judge, "One meal he could afford to miss."

Charlie Sheen says his ex-wife Brooke Mueller is a dangerous, EVIL whore who's putting their twin boys in SERIOUS DANGER ... and now, Charlie says he's on a mission to stop her before it's too late.

Sheen just called TMZ and told us ... his 4-and-a-half year old twin boys Bob and Max have already suffered physical and emotional damage from the time they've spent in Brooke's care. In fact, he says they're very close to getting kicked out of school.

Charlie says the boys are deathly afraid of Brooke's house -- which is covered in pet lizards, various insects and other critters -- and they suffer night terrors after spending time at the home.

Charlie also says Bob suffered a bad rash on his face after recently spending time with Brooke -- a rash that "looked like somebody burned him."

Charlie says he's complained to L.A. Child Services -- but they refuse to help. Instead, Charlie claims, Brooke is getting MORE custody ... and he doesn't understand why.

Sheen ripped Child Services on a Twitter rant last night -- calling them "doosh bags" who have done nothing to protect his children. He also called Brooke an "evil and pathetic über loser" and a "whore."

Sheen says Brooke is supposed to get her first unsupervised overnight visit with the twins tonight -- and Charlie says he's very afraid of what could happen.

Charlie says he's not sure if Brooke is back on drugs, but he is sure about one thing -- "She's as awful a parent and a person as you can possibly draw up."

Oprah Winfrey's adulterous dad tried to screw Oprah's stepmom out of profits for the sale of their barber shop ... and the judge may be insinuating Oprah was in on it.

In divorce documents -- obtained by TMZ -- Vernon and Barbara Winfrey filed dueling petitions for divorce, but the judge granted hers and rejected his ... on grounds he was an adulterer and engaged in "inappropriate marital conduct." Translation ... he chased her around with a gun during a fight.

According to the docs, Vernon put the barbershop into foreclosure. Once that happens, the real owners generally end up with zilch. But according to the judge, Vernon KNEW Oprah would buy the barbershop out of foreclosure, which would then squeeze Barbara out and he would end up with title once she gave it to him. And that's exactly what happened.

Sources tell us ... when the barbershop went into foreclosure, Oprah's trust purchased it and deeded it to O's dad and his business partner, leaving her stepmom in the cold.

Short story ... the judge seems to be suggesting Oprah may have been in on her dad's plan to ace Barbara out of money in the divorce.

We tried reaching Oprah for comment but we were unsuccessful.

Two prominent Beverly Hills doctors once featured on "Dr. 90210" are locked in a child custody war involving wild allegations of abuse -- and it all comes to a head this morning ... as the 3 youngest kids will be separated from their older brother ... TMZ has learned.

Plastic surgeon Dr. Brian Evans and dermatologist Dr. Susan Evans' nasty divorce took a dark turn last month when their oldest child filed legal docs, accusing his father of sexually abusing his younger siblings.

According to a request for a temporary restraining order, filed by Brian and Susan's 12-year-old son on Oct. 15 ... Brian touched his 6-year-old son's penis -- and also touched the genitals of their 8-year-old twin daughters.

Further, the eldest son claims Brian "hit me in the face, dragged me for 2 rooms" and threatened to kill the kids and their mom. According to the TRO request, this went down in Oct. 2012 ... a full year before the TRO was filed.

Brian's attorney Errol Gordon tells TMZ ... they not only deny the allegations, but say authorities investigated and disproved them.

In fact, on Oct. 24 the court issued a major modification of child custody ... granting Brian legal custody of all 4 children, and physical custody of the three youngest ones. The handoff is scheduled to happen this morning in L.A. County Family court.

The order also prohibits Susan from having any contact -- "in person, by telephone, text, email, or otherwise" -- with the 3 kids for the next 30 days. The oldest son will continue living with Susan.

After the 30 days, Susan can have 4 monitored visits with the kids -- but no overnights -- and a month after that ... she can ask to modify the custody order.

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have settled their protracted divorce beef ... and sources connected to Demi concede ... she will NOT be getting any spousal support from her soon-to-be-ex.

The divorce is being handled by various lawyers, coast-to-coast. Our New York sources tell TMZ ... Demi tried to get spousal support on grounds Ashton cheated on her. She finally realized, IT DOESN'T MATTER. The divorce is in California -- a no fault state -- and even if your husband bangs another chick, it doesn't entitle you to spousal support. So our Demi sources say she finally backed off.

As for the division of property ... we're told Ashton was "a little more generous than he had to be," but they basically split the stuff they acquired during the marriage. Demi didn't do nearly as well as she did when she divorced Bruce Willis. Fact is ... Ashton had just started his gig on "Two and a Half Men" when they separated, and he wasn't making the big bucks he's pulling in now.

FYI ... our sources say aside from cheating, she was pissed because she felt Ashton was hiding some of his tech businesses from her and she wanted a piece. In the end, we're told they are both satisfied with the settlement.

Jane Seymour, aka TV's Dr. Quinn, has officially pulled the plug on her marriage to actor/director James Keach, filing for legal separation ... TMZ has learned.

Seymour filed the docs late last week in L.A. County Superior Court ... citing irreconcilable differences.

62-year-old Jane and 65-year-old James have been married for more than 20-years and have 17-year-old twin boys. In the papers, Jane requests joint legal and physical custody.

The couple announced in April that they were splitting up, and negotiating terms of a divorce ... but the docs make the split official.

The former Bond girl is not requesting spousal support.

It's an actor's nightmare ... being dumped by your agent.

Powerful Hollywood talent agent Sam Gores is in the process of splitting from his client -- and wife -- ex-soap actress Jensen Buchanan ... according to legal docs obtained by TMZ.

Gores -- who's chairman of the Paradigm Talent Agency -- filed for a legal separation from Buchanan ... they've been married since 2003.

Professionally, Buchanan is represented by Gores' agency, Paradigm ... although she's handled by another agent at the firm. No word on whether that professional relationship will change.

In his legal docs, Gores filed for separation based on irreconcilable differences ... and indicated he plans to pay spousal support. The docs also show the couple has a prenup.

"7th Heaven" star Stephen Collins (who played the dad on the show) is raking in HUGE money with new acting gigs these days ... so says his estranged wife ... and now she wants a piece.

66-year-old Collins filed for divorce from 56-year-old Faye Grant last year after 27 years of marriage and according to new legal docs, Faye's NOT happy.

Faye claims she's been left with no means of income, while Stephen hauls in cash from his various gigs -- including $400,000 minimum for "Revolution," $64,937 for "Devious Maids," $7,682 for "Scandal," and $5,500 for "The Fosters" ... and that's just for 2013.

Faye -- an actor herself -- says she gave up her prime acting years to raise their daughter, and now she can't land a job.

She says she got used to an upper class standard of living while married to Collins -- who earned $1 million to $3 million per year while they were together.

She's asking the court for an unspecified amount of spousal support. She also wants half of a $6 million bank account which includes "7th Heaven" money, stat ... and half the value of 2 lavish properties in Brentwood, CA.

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr put on a united front ... by reuniting ... the day after they announced their marriage was kaput.

Miranda, Orlando and nearly 3-year old Flynn strolled through Central Park this morning -- with one accessory noticeably absent ... their wedding rings.

Orlando told us on Friday there were no hard feelings between him and Miranda ... and they would still remain a family.

Although they have said the marriage is over, neither has pulled the trigger and filed for divorce -- at least not so far.

Divorce doesn't always have to be a nuclear experience.

11:30 PT -- Looks like they had no problem showing off a little PDA as well.

Orlando Bloom doesn't have any hard feelings about the end of his marriage to Miranda Kerr, telling TMZ they will remain a family.

Our photog asked Orlando -- who is in NYC for "Romeo and Juliet" -- if he's still friends with Miranda. He said, "We're not friends. We're family."

Orlando also says life works in mysterious ways, and not always the way you want it to.

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are DONE ... the two gorgeous people have announced they're splitting up after 3 years of marriage.

O & M -- who started dating back in 2007 -- released a joint statement through their reps saying, "They have been amicably separated for the past few months. After six years together, they have recently decided to formalize their separation."

"Despite this being the end of their marriage, they love, support and respect each other as both parents of their son and as family."

The couple has one kid together -- their son Flynn, who was born in 2011.

The announcement is pretty shocking considering Miranda and Orlando were spotted out in public together -- smiling and laughing on October 7 in NYC.

And just a couple of months before that, Orlando and Miranda were joking about each other to the media -- with Miranda claiming O has a foot fetish.

We shot Orlando back in July and asked him about it -- and he laughed it off. It's unclear what went south between then and now.

The divorce could get messy when it comes to money -- since they have a ton. According to Forbes, Miranda is the second highest paid model in the world -- raking in more than $7 mil in the past year. And Orlando Bloom's got "Hobbit" money.

It's unclear if the couple has officially filed for divorce at this point -- but it seems like that's just a matter of time.